tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9619090560089702702024-02-18T21:38:16.631-06:00Cancer As My CatalystRefining My Health as a SurvivorAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-4027682171440881012013-08-17T11:43:00.000-05:002013-08-17T11:43:07.427-05:00The Tide Turns...I'm celebrating some running milestones today. The tide has (finally!) turned in my running life. I feel profoundly grateful. If you follow my Page on Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Catalysts-to-Connies-Wellness/225950084113056" target="_blank">Catalysts to Connie's Wellness</a>, you probably know that I'm in training for my very first Half Marathon. I have friends coming from all over the country to run with me and support me in the St. Jude HM on December 7th. My birthday is a few days after that so we'll celebrate my first 39th birthday, too.<br />
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About a year ago I started training for the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation's first 5K, and my first 5K. This 2 time gyn cancer Survivor couldn't run for 30 seconds at a time. Last night I posted on FB about my run and then after I wrote it and laid down to sleep I had a deep thought. I didn't doubt my ability to run 5 miles. Not even a tiny bit. And I didn't put that in my FB post, because it was a given to me. This is MAJOR for me. In fact, I feel quite confident that I could run a HM right now, I just wouldn't fall into the race's time limits yet. Maybe. This is an overwhelmingly amazing and proud realization... Wow!<br />
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Today I joined the Breakaway running store's St. Jude M & HM training group at 7 AM for 5 miles. On a Saturday. After a really long and challenging week. I've never run with a group like this before, and I was intimidated and anxious because I'm one of those 'slowest winners'. I met up with a lady I met on FB and she made me feel welcomed.<br />
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I attended the St. Jude kickoff a couple weeks ago and learned from Coach Kevin to use long run days as experiments. So I tried out a new bright teal sports bra- and love it! I was going to try out a bigger water bottle, but decided this morning to stick to my usual outdoor running bottle and it worked just fine. I had trouble with my new favorite socks on my last long run, but that was on the 'mill. They work beautifully outside, and I'm thrilled!<br />
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I also experimented with my food fuels. I ate 1 piece of cinnamon bread with grass fed butter and drank a dark almond almond milk on my drive to the meet up. I pre-mixed my own post run electrolyte water (1.5 tablespoons organic maple syrup, 3 drops Young Living's orange essential oil and 2 drops of lemon EO with 1/8 tsp of Himalayan salt). I brought 1 baggies of organic bunny gummies for my halfway point and that worked really well and fits perfectly in my shirt pocket. So all my experiments were successful! Love that!<br />
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Apparently all the cool running kids have Garmins. I have a RunKeeper app, which works pretty well for me. I've never been a 'cool kid', and that's okay. I've learned to accept and love myself as I am right now and challenging myself to soar higher.<br />
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There were about 50 people or so running, some going for 10 miles and others for 5. We all started together at 7. I started my RK a bit early. After about 3 minutes everyone, and I do mean everyone, passed me. No one else was run/walking. It threw me off a little but I found my groove. Run a minute. Walk a minute. Repeat. Right Left Right Left.<br />
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Then I came to a fork in the Greenline and took the wrong path. They had the map available on the Map My Run app but that app baffles me. I was frustrated... but I knew that I would be okay. I had missed 2 runs this week due to allergies and sinuses challenges so I was okay with running extra today. Then I came to another fork and went the wrong way again, but didn't get too far before passing a nice lady who set me straight.<br />
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I have RK to set to give me feedback every 15 minutes, but I hadn't heard anything in what seemed like a really long time but I could see that it was on. So I pulled out my phone and checked, hoping I was at least a mile in. I was pleasantly surprised to see 1.81 miles! Astounding!! A couple minutes later I was blown away again when I earned a 2 mile personal best- of 32:07!! Holy moly!! All that treadmill work has been paying off!!<br />
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At 2.5 miles there was supposed to be a water truck, but my RK accidentally got stopped and I lost track of exact mileage. I went further than I thought it would be but never found the truck. It may have left. I was glad I hadn't counted on it and had plenty of water.<br />
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So I turned around... The Greenline is gorgeous and well shaded! And there's even a bathroom! I hadn't brought my iPod because I wasn't sure if there were rules about that when running in a group. I noticed that most people had them, though. So I ran without music or sound, and instead filled my head with positive affirmations. I was determined not to let negative thoughts sneak in.<br />
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I was shocked- absolutely blissfully shocked- when RK announced that I had just finished mile 5 at 15:23 pace. This is my fastest pace EVER!! And for it to happen on mile 5 is even more amazing... WOW! That pumped me up to finish the run strong.<br />
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I ended up with 5.77 miles. My RK split it up because it had gotten shut off in the middle. These are my BEST paces EVER and that's what matters for me. YOUR best paces are what should matter to you. Not what other runners are doing.. .they are running their own race.<br />
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Also for the first time EVER on a outside run I successfully did negative splits, meaning my second half was faster than my first. I really struggled with this before I started running the 'mill. That 'mill has it's purposes, though I much prefer running outdoors.<br />
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Mile 1: 16:33 (this is about 2 minutes faster than my usual 'mill times- crazy!)<br />
Mile 2: 15:42<br />
Mile 3: 15:55 (I took 2 longer walking breaks to eat my gummie bunnies)<br />
Mile 4: 15:23<br />
Mile 5: 15:56<br />
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90:01 minutes<br />
Average Pace 15:50ish<br />
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In comparison on June 1st I ran 6.03 miles outdoors with an average pace of 17:53 with my fastest mile at 17:29. I'm totally blown away, full of gratitude and just amazed at how far I've come since then!<br />
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I'm not sure I'll do a lot of group running in the future. I like knowing that I'm not totally alone, but it's tough when everyone passes me and I'm left alone and miss the water truck. I did really enjoy the Greenline, but would feel safer running with someone.<br />
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For a long time I felt like I would never gain speed, and that I wasn't improving as a runner. But I kept going anyway. I slay negative self defeating thoughts with positive ones. I make up little fun chants to keep me going. Like- You Rock You Runner! I can't believe how awesome I am! It pays off when you least expect it. It's a sweet surprise. And it makes me push on, and keep on believing (cue Journey). Hope it's true for YOU, too!<br />
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Would you please take a moment and donate? Every little bit helps and goes to St. Jude. <a href="http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?team_id=35536&pg=team&fr_id=4820" target="_blank">Connie's Heroes Team- Strong & Lean Ladies</a> Thank YOU!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-83807059046309297692013-06-01T11:27:00.002-05:002013-06-01T11:27:41.082-05:00A 7th Birthday & 6 Miles <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm bringing the BLOG back out, because some things are blog-worthy and too lengthy for my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Catalysts-to-Connies-Wellness/225950084113056" target="_blank">Facebook Page</a>. I'm grateful for all the new friends aka Likers on my Page, most recently some incredible and inspiring runners. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today is a very special day, and so it tomorrow. But let's stick to the now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Seven years ago today my oldest niece Zoey was born, and she has brought beauty, joy, comfort and laughter to our family. Through her I've gotten to know a tiny bit of motherhood. She's the reason I could easily and quickly decide to have a hysterectomy after my first cancer diagnosis (endometrial) in early 2008. She and my other nieces and nephews fill up my heart and helps me to see the beauty and wonder in life. I'm so grateful for her- and all of my Peeps- and for my sisters who allow this Auntie Mommy to hold this honorable title. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is me with newborn baby Zoey- 2006.</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8k9-or4rY_g/UaoW5W7fKII/AAAAAAAANZA/Ip66eABO-XY/s1600/020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8k9-or4rY_g/UaoW5W7fKII/AAAAAAAANZA/Ip66eABO-XY/s320/020.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtXxlqKftoPBUyar2or-qnnFwNNwdnuqobu_W9DOJ8Mw6ady3ObPxsk16W31IuTOHcjqadeIdYhebEwSM9XoPNtoAFvbzPgsEnYBEIG-26HM5N4Yhe0prvf6tqxBr-PlmTPFrcfzTEXZl/s1600/023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtXxlqKftoPBUyar2or-qnnFwNNwdnuqobu_W9DOJ8Mw6ady3ObPxsk16W31IuTOHcjqadeIdYhebEwSM9XoPNtoAFvbzPgsEnYBEIG-26HM5N4Yhe0prvf6tqxBr-PlmTPFrcfzTEXZl/s320/023.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is her a couple days ago with her sister and brother playing Tea Party. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiul8U3UmJmqqzYU_f_9oi849AYz9FuKQRAm6c9d-qw7qRo2DgJSXJ1IMVMKW7l3w1j5XDWfw4RPKXKMf6z2bCfTesB3rJsniTscqx8nikRa7wyGID6VQ1_kdtpuDsyVJyku1oMWyJBrlZg/s1600/20130531_153740.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiul8U3UmJmqqzYU_f_9oi849AYz9FuKQRAm6c9d-qw7qRo2DgJSXJ1IMVMKW7l3w1j5XDWfw4RPKXKMf6z2bCfTesB3rJsniTscqx8nikRa7wyGID6VQ1_kdtpuDsyVJyku1oMWyJBrlZg/s320/20130531_153740.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Seven years old. It blows my mind.<b><span style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Happy Birthday, my SweetPea!!</span></b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love to pieces, and am so proud of the lovely young lady you are blooming into. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's truly my honor and joy to be a part of your world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> She always says 'this is my world, Aunt Connie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> And indeed it is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I hope that belief, that deep knowing without question, stays with her forever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Create your own beautiful world, Z, using your own colors and style! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I took a couple of weeks off from my Jeff Galloway <a href="http://www.jeffgalloway.com/training/5k.html" target="_blank">10K Training</a>, but made a come back this week. I had stalled in the middle of Week 8. Six miles seemed really hard and there was always a decent reason I couldn't get it done. Then I went on vacation in the mountains of New England. And came home sick. I put it off, but this week I knew the time had come to face those 6 miles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I owe this push in motivation and inspiration to all the runners pages I've recently found on Facebook and a couple of (tenaciously awesome) running friends. I prepared all week- hydrating, eating veggies and protein, not drinking alcohol, getting good sleep. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I got up early, took my thyroid med, went back to sleep for a few minutes then drug myself out of bed- with the help of a text from one of those tenaciously awesome friends- and ate breakfast. I probably need to eat more and give myself more time to digest in the future, I'm learning as I go. I had 2 slices of thin raisin toast with butter and low sodium sausage patty and a big glass of water. I remembered sunscreen and my hat. I put on my purple <a href="http://www.roadid.com/Common/default.aspx" target="_blank">Road ID</a> in case I melted into the sidewalk. Grabbed a bag of gummies and filled up my water bottle. I was determined, excited and ready to get it done. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was 76 and 87% humidity at 8:15 am in Memphis. But there was a decent cool breeze, and thunderstorms coming in later today (unfortunately for Z's pool party). Beat the rain, that's what I told myself when I started. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I used to drive to a nearby park with a 8/10 mile loop. When I first started running last August I could barely make it around once. Today I ran 2.5 miles TO the park, then around the loop once and back home. </span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Amazing! Astounding! Mind blowing! </b></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This body that has been through abuse as a child, several major pelvic/abdominal surgeries and carries the extra weight of those pains on the outside CAN RUN 6 MILES. I'm learning that despite the extra weight on my body, running- and succeeding in any goals- is much more about what I THINK in my mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I told myself all week that I'll be running 6 miles today. I can do THIS. I'm a runner! I gained strength from other runners, thanks to Facebook. I believed I could do it. And then I did it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The first 2.5 miles were really good. I ate my gummies and took a couple extra minutes to walk about mile 3. That boosted me up until about mile 5. I could feel a big blister forming on my inner bottom right heel. My thighs were cramping a little. I was starting to get chills off and on, just for a few seconds. I commended myself for what I was doing, then showed my body love and respect by walking for about 3/4 of a mile. Then I ran 30 seconds and walked 90 seconds for the rest of the way- until the very end. Somewhere in there my interval timer died. It was really handy that my Coach taught me to count every other step, so I could still keep loose track of time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When RunKeeper said 1 hour 45 minutes at 5.85 miles I started running and didn't stop until it said 6 miles. I was soaking wet, sore in more ways than one and ELATED that I<u><b><span style="color: #e69138;"> finished in 1:47</span></b></u>!! I had figured it would take me 2 hours and I was perfectly okay with that since it's my first time and I haven't been running consistently for a couple weeks. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>I RAN 6 MILES TODAY!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> For the first time, and I'm doing it again next week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm so grateful to be able to run, to be an Aunt, for the breath in my lungs, and the Love that I live in. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />Tomorrow is a Cancer anniversary for me.... but that's tomorrow. Today I celebrate 'my' 7 year old's birthday and pray it doesn't get stormed out. </span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-4448688439484019272012-11-29T22:34:00.001-06:002012-11-29T23:02:58.554-06:00The First Zen Method Training begins.... <p>Greetings from sunny Arizona! I'm basking in the glorious energy of these beautiful mountains. And also in the Light from my new friend and now teacher, Angella Hamiliton.  We met, briefly, in Washington D.C. last July at the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance's conference. She was there to teach the conference attendees a form of Tai Chi that she developed called Zen Method. You can read all about Zen Method by clicking on the tab on the top right hand side of this blog's homepage. </p>
<p>I loved Zen Method and was drawn into, and felt instantly friended by Angella. I knew she was a Soul sister right awa. Some time passed and life got busy. Then she emailed me in September and asked if I would be interested in going through her certification process to teach Zen Method myself. </p>
<p>It's a long time dream come true, I just didn't really know that my dream of teaching fitness and wellness would take this turn. I've been waiting and working on getting my body to what I thought was an acceptable place first. Divine synchronicity sees it differently. </p>
<p>Zen Method Tai Chi is part of a deep healing that I've longed for since my first diagnosis, but didn't know it in a human level. My Spirit knew, though. So I'm going to become a certified teacher of Zen Method Tai Chi and gift the teaching of these mind body healing connection flowing movements to cancer Survivors. And to their caregivers and friends and beyond, but first on my heart and mind are Survivors. I'll be doing that while I'm healing and gaining health and releasing my extra weight. </p>
<p>One of the things I love most about Zen Method is that anyone can do this- truly. Any size, any ability level, sitting down in a hair, or sitting partly up in bed. And I will be demonstrating that as I'll be a teacher of a larger variety at first. I've let got of feelings of unworthiness because of my size, and have choosen to not let that negativity keep me from offering this to Survivors.</p>
<p>So, the timing was right for Angella and I to get started this weekend. Divine synchronicity brought everything together. So I am here in beautiful energizing Phoenix to start my training. </p>
<p>And start we have! After lunch at the delicious Herb Box in Old Town Scottsdale and a relatively quick stop at Lucy's (for a teal shirt for me to wear when the professional photographer meets up with us on Saturday), we got started. First was an introduction to the book part- fascinating and resonating information that is bringing this all together in my mind. (It's catching up to my Spirit.) Then we did Zen Method Tai Chi poolside under a lemon tree. Gentle flowing movements that brought deep healing- already. Amazing. </p>
<p>I'm beyond grateful that Angella chose me, and can't wait to be ready to gather my first 'in training' class soon.  </p>
<p>I will be creating a Facebook fan page soon so you (and hopefully many others!) can follow my journey to becoming a Teacher of Zen Method. I'm still working on a title... and still welcoming any suggestions. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-8671568701162772122012-11-11T23:19:00.001-06:002012-11-12T00:06:58.263-06:00Happy Two Year Anniversary to me!<div><p>Today, November 11 marks 2 official years of Remission from ovarian cancer. In case you're wondering, I've been in Remission from my first diagnosis of endometrial cancer for 4 years and 8 months. I just counted that out for the first time today. My first cancer was treated with "just" a partial hysterectomy so the whole experience doesn't get a lot of attention. Which is perfectly fine, and I'm grateful that it was a relatively simple treatment for my body. </p>
<p>I'll talk more about that when I celebrate my 5 Year Remission Anniversary, though.</p>
<p>Survivors keep track of dates pretty well despite chemo brain. We have our own defintions of words like Remission. Some Survivors honor and remember the date they were diagnosed. Some celebrate or mourn surgeries, CT scan results and new treatment  courses. There are as many anniversaries as there are Survivors, and we all have different reasons and rhymes. Often times a special party or gift isn't required-though always nice. For me, it's more of a quiet private remembrance and opportunity for deeper gratitude.  </p>
<p>I did receive a special and treasured gift, though. My Angel of a Mom got me a 10" Andriod Tablet with a case that has an external keyboard. (No flowers or cashmere this year, onto new things!) This is the perfect gift and I absolutely adore it! In fact I'm using it to write this post. I've never used the Blogger app before... hope it works right! Thank you, Mom, for everything. I appreciate your unconditional Love, support and encouragement deeper than any words I could say or write.</p>
<p>I count this as my Remission Anniversary because it was on this day 2 years ago when my gyn oncologist first said that beautiful word to me. I had completed chemo 2 months prior, but wasn't given this treasured title until my body healed and I had a 'good looking' CT scan. </p>
<p>I remember sitting on the exam table, barely covered in a paper blanket with my mom sitting a few feet away in the chair that's too close to the door. My doc was reading the computer screen that was a couple feet from me, between mom and me. Doc was in the middle as if standing between my future health. Doc said it casually but Mom and I jumped on the word. Doc high fived me, and I hugged Mom even before getting dressed.  We were so relieved and grateful. And continue to be everyday. Remission is a daily gift, much like breath. There are no guarentees, only the joy of now.</p>
<p>I celebrated today with my family in a beautifully (now) typical Sunday. Church, lunch with most of the family and sweet moments of laughter with my Peeps at Mom's house. No one talked about Remission, we didn't have to. We're all grateful to be living in it. I spent the rest of the day doing life stuff- studying for Continuing Education exam, gratefully completing another Couch 2 5K workout (I ran for 3 whole minutes- twice!!), healthy dinner for 1, and phone conversations with a couple of dear friends.</p>
<p>I also indulged in a big frosted cookie and a luxurious bath in lavender. </p>
<p>A simple, peaceful day of gratitude for Remission, and all the men and women in our Military who have served, are serving and who will serve  in the future. I appreciate the daily sacrifices, and the ultimate sacrifices, the men and women of the Marines, Air Force, Navy and Army choose to make for the sake of Freedom.  </p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-10032203218939674552012-11-07T23:54:00.001-06:002012-11-07T23:54:48.233-06:00Test Result, Guilt and Inner Peace<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes, I still remember that I'm a Blogger. No, I haven't forgotten about you, dear readers. Writing here often gets pushed down to the end of my list because there are so many other issues and people that deserve and require my attention. This blog is about me and I deserve attention too, of course. It's my therapy, and I hope that it serves as a kind of therapy for you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The other issue I've had with blogging is figuring out how to blog about all the things I want to write about and mix it together well. Oh, and I tend to over think things which can lead to procrastination. Can you relate? I'd really like to have the time and brain space to come up with a creative and pretty way to make it work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the meantime, I'm working on a clever title for a Facebook Fan Page (do I have fans???) for my Zen Method certification process and beyond (cue Buzz Lightyear voice). That will overlap into things I would blog about... and may actually spill into this blog when I have a lot to say. If you have any title suggestions, I'd love to hear them!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My last post had a cliff hanger, my CA-125 (ovarian cancer tumor marker blood test) results pending. A friend actually asked me about it last week. Yay someone is reading!! I have assumed, hopefully incorrectly, that all of my readers are my real-life friends or Facebook friends who have already heard this fabulous news. My apologizes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm very happy to share that my CA-125 result remains at *3*. Anything under 35 is considered 'normal'. I'm deeply grateful. And relieved because there's so much more I want to do and experience in this beautiful life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A new friend, and Teal Sister, gently asked me recently if I ever feel guilty for being in Remission. I empathetically replied- YES! There are moments when guilt and unworthiness flood every part of me. I'd trade places with a any mother, or young girl, with ovarian (or any!) cancer in a heartbeat if I could. Children need their mothers, I certainly need mine and I'm in my 30s! And young girls deserve a chance to experience and create their lives without the burdens and scars of disease.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I could spend my mental and emotional energy on guilt, and it would just make me miserable and not help anyone. So I <i>choose</i> not to feel guilty or think guilty thoughts. It's a concentrated effort, truly a choice I make everyday. Sometimes I have to remind myself several times a day. Sometimes I cry for release. I ask God for help countless times each day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This year I've learned how much power my thoughts hold. It boils down to these quotes:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I choose to be grateful, happy and at peace with myself and my Remission status every morning. I'm becoming increasingly better at choosing which thoughts and emotions can stay and stopping those that don't serve me. It's work, it's mindfulness, it's sometimes really tough. It's worth it. I'm worth it. You are worth it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've spent most of my life waiting for someone to fix me, to heal me, to tell me what to do next. I've realized this year- thanks to several Divine interventions- that I don't need to be fixed- I'm already whole and healed as part of The Divine. What I've really been waiting on<span style="color: #45818e;"> </span>is<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> myself</span></span> to realize that I am a deeply Love part of God, and that I have the ability to create the life I want with my thoughts. The first step is to get my thoughts under control, and then keenly focus on what I do want in my life. This requires, absolutely requires meditation of at least 1 form. It's taken me a very long time- over 30 years and 2 cancer journeys - to GET IT. But now I do and that's what matters. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So instead of feeling guilty, I'm choosing to use my good health to advocate for my Teal Sisters of the past, current and future so that we all may blissfully live out our lives we choose for ourselves. I choose to laugh and play with my nieces and nephews, and wonder at their Light and young wisdom. I choose to think Loving and kind thoughts about people, even those that I disagree with or aren't particularly fond of for some silly human reason. I choose to seek and experience Peace. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Enter in Inner Peace for Inner Tough's Zen Method certification journey.... Coincidence? Certainly not! </span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-48310443464858681562012-10-27T11:32:00.001-05:002012-10-27T11:32:08.732-05:00Gratefulness and Respect<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm gratefully approaching my official 2 year post ovarian cancer Remission anniversary. Each year of remission is big deal to all cancer Survivors, but particularly ovarian cancer Survivors because there is often a higher risk of recurrence. I only have a 10% risk of recurrence, which is really low but still a risk. <a href="http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/101/18/1234.full.pdf" target="_blank">Click here</a> for a chart from the Journal of National Cancer Institute to see the recurrence rates in ovarian cancer at different stages. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's humbling and shocking data, yet reminds me to stay in the flow of thankfulness for my current good health. It also gives me a sense of urgency to advocate for more research dollars that will lead to a Cure and educate women on ways to listen to and care for their bodies. Women shouldn't suffer or die from ovarian cancer any longer. Women deserve an early detection screening to find ovarian cancer at the earliest possible stage and preserve their lives. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i style="background-color: #a2c4c9;">Oh, didn't you know that there is NOT an early detection screening for ovarian cancer? Shocking, isn't it? </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So how would you know you have it? By listening to your body, knowing your family cancer history, and paying attention to these symptoms:</span><br />
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<ul style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; border: 0px; color: #444444; line-height: 24px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 24px 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Bloating</span></span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Pelvic or abdominal pain</span></span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly</span></span></li>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">The Ovarian Cancer National Alliance created a free App- and printable symptom diary- to help women track these symptoms. </span><a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/app/" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;" target="_blank">App link</a><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;"> </span><a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/resources/diary/" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;" target="_blank">Symptom Diary Link</a><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;"> </span><a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/about-ovarian-cancer/symptoms/" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;" target="_blank">Studies about ovarian cancer symptom link.</a><br /><div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ladies, dear ones, please pay attention to your </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">body. If you're experiencing one or more of these symptoms- even just one, yes- for couple weeks or more please go see your gynecologist. The Ovarian Cancer National Alliance has fantastic information about </span><a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/about-ovarian-cancer/detection/" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">detection</a><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. Read it carefully and then tune into your body. Take care of yourself, don't just wait & see. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This past Thursday I went to my gyn oncologist for my 2 year pelvic exam and blood work to determine my <a href="http://ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/ca125qa.cfm" target="_blank">CA 125 level</a>. A normal CA 125 is 35 U/ml or less. Mine was 3 U/ml 6 months ago, which is amazingly wonderful. I'll get results from Thursday early next week, and I'm expecting good news. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wasn't feeling much anxiety until I got to the parking lot on Thursday. My affirmations and flowing thoughts of gratefulness keep me in a healthy and positive place mentally and emotionally. I've been focusing on ovarian cancer advocacy, not so much my personal journey through ovarian cancer. Yet pulling into the parking lot brought up a bit of fear and anxiety, and I could smell the chemo before walking in the building. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I called my friend Angella, who is the creator of The Zen Method that I'm training to become certified in, and she listened for a few minutes and then talked me through 3 cleansing and grounding breaths. Connecting with your breath is a powerful calming tool. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My blood draw was easy and thankfully the first stick stuck. My veins were slow to share but we got 3 vials out. This is the only time I ever miss my Port-a-cath, but I get tougher with every stick. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was prepared to be there for awhile since I had an afternoon appointment which usually means the oncologist is behind schedule, but I was called back quickly. I got to be in the 'upgrade' room with the more comfortable chair with stirrups and joked about it with the nurse. She went through the usual round of questions.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My oncologist came in quickly and we got down to business. That 'upgrade' chair made the exam much more comfortable. Yay! Then I got hear the words I needed to hear from her- <i>everything feels fine. Relief floods in. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She then checked the computer for my blood work- except CA 125 which takes longer- and <i>more good news. Everything looks good. More relief and gratitude joins the flood. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She wants me to have a mammogram just because it's been nearly 2 years and it's a smart thing to do for a gyn cancer Survivor. Though, I'm not thrilled about it I am thankful that breast cancer HAS an early detection screening process. As I think that, there in the stirrups, I feel a pang of sadness for ovarian cancer patients as I wish we had an early detection screening too. So I agree to get a mammogram. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i style="background-color: #0c343d;"><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">That's my official 2 year post ovarian cancer oncologist follow up appointment results. Everything looks good, I'm doing great. I can wait 6 months for my next follow up. I'm relieved, and full of gratitude....</span><span style="color: #45818e;"> </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I get on the elevator and check my email as a mental break from being at The West Clinic. There's a brand new email about a friend, a Teal Sister, who is in treatment. The email tells me that She also saw her gyn oncologist that day, </span><i style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">but didn't get good news</i><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. I got in my car and bawled for both of us for a few minutes, because it ovarian cancer sucks.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I called my Mom to share my good news, sent out a text to my closest friends and sisters, and posted on Facebook, Then I stepped out of my own personal ovarian cancer journey and back into my new role of Advocacy and supporting my Teal Sisters. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please send your Love, Comfort and Light to this dear Teal Sister- to all my Teal Sisters... and to all Survivors. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Cure. </span></div>
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.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-70592397170697182712012-10-24T00:51:00.000-05:002012-10-24T00:51:07.814-05:00Official Start TimeToday I officially started the training process for the St. Jude half marathon next December. I've talked about it a lot, meditated on it, said a lot of positive affirmations to myself, asked for guidance from dear friends who are seasoned runners and then realized there was only 1 thing left to do. Take action by actually starting to run.<br />
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For the first part of my training, I'm using the popular <a href="http://www.active.com/running/couch-to-5k/training-for-a-5k" target="_blank">Couch to 5K</a>. I've got the <a href="http://www.active.com/mobile/c25k.htm" target="_blank">app</a> for my phone which makes it very convenient. The weather is finally good for running in Memphis, and I'm so thankful. This is a 9 week program where I'll be doing run/walk intervals for a total of 30 minutes. This means that I'll finish this program right before Christmas. I didn't plan that, but I think it's pretty cool how the timing works out. I'll be able to run a 5K by Christmas, which will be an amazing gift to myself.<br />
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The first day run/walk felt good. I haven't run since the <a href="http://www.ocafoundation.org/" target="_blank">Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation</a>'s 5K at the end of September due to a sciatic event that occurred shortly afterwards. I'm healed now, and have learned from that injury. No more full out running down hill, my core needs strengthening, and stretch really well.<br />
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Today I started off feeling really strong, and felt almost easy. By the 6th of the 8 intervals my body felt the challenge. I talked myself through it with gratitude. It's truly amazing to me that I can run. It's even more amazing that I want to run. I'm deeply grateful that I can run. I imagined me and my friends at the St. Jude half marathon... all of us running together and drawing strength from each other. I'm so grateful to have friends are willing to travel to run with me.<br />
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I'll be running Tuesdays, Thursdays and either Saturdays or Sundays. On Tuesday and Thursday I'll add on upper body- including core- work, too. Mondays and Wednesdays I'll do low impact Tabata (intense intervals for 20 second followed by 10 seconds of rest, repeat) or HiiT (high intensity interval training which is short bursts of energy followed by short rest repeatedly about 10 times. I'll also add in, cautiously, <a href="http://cathe.com/turbo-barre-a-totally-different-type-of-cathe-workout" target="_blank">Turbo Barre</a> or floor work for my lower body. Fridays and Sunday or Saturday will be rest days.<br />
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I'll also continue daily with the Crane Dance created by Inner Peace for Inner Tough's Angella Hamiliton. (You can get a free download of this 6 minute calming yet powerful unique combo of Tai Chi and Qi Gong <a href="http://www.zenmethodtaichi.com/tough-girls-2/" target="_blank">here</a>.) This short 6 minutes is truly bringing more peace to my life.<br />
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Putting together a workout plan for the next 9 weeks feels really good. Having a physical goal that I'm able to work towards is a miracle.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-90108772163448228932012-10-21T19:38:00.001-05:002012-10-21T19:38:18.422-05:00Bravery & a 5 Day Road trip<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Brave. </span><span style="color: #a64d79;">Adventurous</span>. <span style="color: #0b5394;">Creative.</span> <span style="color: #ea9999;">Miracles.</span> <span style="color: #6aa84f;">Friends.</span> <span style="color: #741b47;">Magnificent</span>. <span style="color: #3d85c6;">Delicious</span>. <span style="color: #e69138;">Fun</span>. <span style="color: #c27ba0;">Healing</span>. <span style="color: #134f5c;">Comfy</span>. <span style="color: red;">Decadent. </span><span style="color: #f1c232;">Welcoming. </span><span style="color: #ea9999;">Love. </span></div>
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These words are the essence of my recent 5 day road trip to the North. On my way to my first destination, I meet Sandra Ahten, creator of <a href="http://www.reasonablediet.com/" target="_blank">The Reasonable Diet</a>. I was running late, partly due to road construction and partly because I forgot how long the state of Illinois is, but we just rolled with it. She's every bit as authentic and awesome as she is appears online. We talked like old friends, and I got some insight and education about how to apply the Law of Attraction to my desire to reach a healthy weight. She hit a spiritual nerve so right on in that topic that I cried spontaneously. </div>
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Onto Chicago- as in the city part of the city, not the burbs. I've never stayed in a big city apartment before, but my friend Rae made me feel very welcomed and right at home. Her apartment/loft is above stores and has a very funky cool sleek industrial yet homey feel. And she has the same couch I had when I lived in Florida. She's a graphic artist and web designer- as well as a musician. We worked on her huge screen computer in our jammies on shirt designs for the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundations' new <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/ocafmemphis/gifts?st=date_created#products" target="_blank">Zazzle store</a>. </div>
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We worked so well together, and had lots of fun. I'm so thankful for you, Rae, and your mad graphic skills! You totally rock, and I'm honored and grateful to get to spend time and creative space with you.<br />
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I met with 2 Facebook friends later that night in the 'burbs. Traffic was crazy. And the tollway was expensive. Though it was a bit irritating, I didn't mind much because I was so excited to meet my friends! Laura and I connected immediately and share many of the same Spiritual experiences and way of thinking... we talked for hours and are old friends now! I have a feeling that we're going to be connected for a long time, and in a really cool way one day. Then Nancy joined us, after a long day of work. We've been friends for a long time thanks to Facebook and it was wonderful to make a real life connection. I got some good advice from this awesome seasoned runner and fellow Cathlete... and made some plans for running a half marathon next December.<br />
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Then it was time for me to visit the city where I did most of my growing up.... that holds hundreds of thousands of happy memories of family and friends... and some very dark scary memories of abuse. That abuse held me prisoner on many levels for over 2 decades, and kept me away from that city. I've been through years of therapy, hypnosis, and journaling to heal and cope but have avoided going to that old home city for 21 years. Then I rekindled friendships with some very special friends that still live there... and even made a couple new ones there thanks to Facebook. I wanted to spend time with them, meet them all over again and crush the fear that I attributed to that place.<br />
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The city didn't cause the abuse. It's just a place, a city like many others. I've grown spiritually so much these past few months that it felt so good and right to go there again. I was determined not to let old fears reign over my joy in the now. I needed to go back to complete the circle of healing for myself.<br />
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I paused on the outskirts of the city to collect my thoughts, breathe, meditate and remind myself that it's just a place and no one can hurt me there anymore. I reminded myself that I'm a grown up now and have control over my body and mind. I also told those dark memories that they were not welcome, and asked God to open my mind to any good memories. I also gave myself permission to leave if it didn't feel good or right in any way.<br />
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Cities go through big changes in 21 years. Though I came in on what I thought would be an old familiar highway, I recognized very little which was good because it made things easier. A couple of those good memories popped in... the place where I took the only dance class of my life that I completely forgotten about... my old nursery school which looks exactly the same... learning to drive my Mom's old Renault stick shift in my old high school parking lot...<br />
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And one of my family's favorite restaurants. I met my friend Rocky there even though I was staying at his house that night, to take the whole 'going home again' thing slowly. Again, I paused in my car gathering my thoughts and courage. He saw me first, busted! ha! We hugged like dear old friends and I felt welcomed, loved and safe. The restaurant, also, has changed a lot... the food wasn't nearly as good as I remembered but I ate one of my Grandpa's favorite meals- lake perch.<br />
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Rocky patiently drove me around the city, avoiding spots with bad memories, and we reminisced and laughed so hard. There's now a big beautiful lake beach there now!! It was crazy... if you didn't know it was a lake you'd swear it was an ocean. Seriously.<br />
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See? </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rocky, Me and Margol</td></tr>
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That night Rocky threw a party for me and my Racine friends complete with a nacho bar and great wines! I was deeply moved by how many people came to visit with me... felt like a rockstar!! It's truly a miracle to have such lovely Light-filled friends... My brain still can't comprehend it all, and I am humbled by the Love that surrounds my life in so many ways. And my soul is grateful. My friend Margol said something very wise- 'you never have friends like the ones you had in high school'. So true, and after hearing her say that and experiencing the joy of reconnecting I'm so glad I choose to be brave.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Lisa</td></tr>
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I have conquered and kicked out all the negative energy and bad memories from that city I grew up in, and replaced it with new friends, rekindled friendships, laughter and Love. I'll definitely be going back someday.</div>
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The next morning...which came too early after all our celebrating the night before... I headed even further North to my Great Aunt & Uncle's home. After all, it was their 65th Wedding Anniversary- and my Great Uncle's 90th birthday- that sparked this whole amazing trip. Their house is so cozy... I relaxed and enjoying being with my extended family. Catching up...sharing memories... looking at pictures... connecting in a fresh way now that I'm 'grown up'. (I don't feel grown up.) </div>
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I also watched how the 4 sisters- my Great Aunt and Uncle's daughters- interacted and learned a lot. Their age range is wide, their lives are very different but the love and care they have for each other is strong and beautiful. They know each other well despite not all living geographically close or getting to spend a lot of time together. It was quite obvious to me that the sister relationships they have came from effort, desire and work but mostly Love and acceptance. I asked 2 of the sisters, my second cousins who feel more like Aunts to me, if they had a secret to sisterhood. They both said- listen to each other and don't try to fix things for the others. That seems simple enough, doesn't it? Very powerful and profound, too.</div>
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I truly hope that my 2 sisters and I can create relationships that strong to last for our lifetimes. We feel distant lately... busy with our own passions and lives... which is understandable at this early and mid 30's part of our lives ... but I truly hope that this simple but deep lesson I learned from my cousins stays with me and passes onto my sisters. </div>
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There was a big party that evening and I got to meet some second and third cousins for the first time, played some beer pong (which was bizarre and wonderful fun), shared my special memories of my Great Aunt & Uncle, and created new memories and fresh connections to the only extended family I have left now... </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Great Auntie Jo, me and Great Uncle Harvey</td></tr>
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This 5 day road trip is quite possibly the most fun, adventuresome, powerful, free-ing and profound trip of my life- so far, at least. I can't wait to see what the next trip brings!! </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-52343548936045454502012-10-10T01:49:00.000-05:002012-10-10T01:49:02.800-05:0011 Miracles<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My Great Aunt and Uncle have been married for, nearly, 65 years. 6 5 YEARS. That's hard to imagine, but I think it's pretty neat. As I child I went to some of the parties their side of the family had, and they came to my family's big events. But I wasn't really close with their side of the family... always wished I had been though. So when I got an invitation in the mail a few weeks ago to their 65th Wedding Anniversary and Uncle's 90th birthday party I instantly wanted to go. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I worked out the details and am leaving in the morning for a long car ride North. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">During the planning of this trip several miracles occurred. No Moses appearances or anything super big, but no miracle is bigger than any other. I've learned that recently. Oh, and miracles aren't all religious and churchy. They are sacred, though. Look around your life, I bet you can find a miracle or two also. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Allow me to digress for a few lines here and say that up until recently I've been an introvert and am usually quite uncomfortable meeting new people. It's been my first line of defense against potential pain of various types, as it is with many other people. However, I'm pretty out-going online, if that can be considered out-going. These past months I've been like a caterpillar emerging from my cocoon as a butterfly in many different ways, pardon the over used metaphor. I've been expanding and changing... and somehow I'm becoming a kind of extrovert. And I like it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is miracle #1. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because this first miracle happened... which is contingent on thousands of former miracles in my life.. the next miracles happened. This new extroverted me sent messages to a few online friends asking if they might like to meet. The positive response was overwhelming and humbling. Honestly, it took me back a bit... and I had to snuff out some negative thoughts about myself. Now I graciously accept that so many people from many walks of life- men and women- are excited to meet me. I am very excited and honored to be meeting them, too! Gratitude overwhelms me, truly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These are miracles #2- 8. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So a long weekend road trip has morphed into a 5 day road trip with 3 stops- and lots of details that needed to be ironed out- to meet 8 incredible people of Light and Love. I am filled with wonder and gratitude for all the friends that have appeared in my life over the past year. Welcome, dear ones, thank you for sharing this journey through Life with me and shining Light on the path. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The fact that I'm excited about it and my mind is not filled with negative thoughts about myself at this very minute is miracle #9. Gosh darn it, people like me!! Props to Stuart Smalley. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the stops I'm making is in the city I grew up in. There are hundreds of thousands of happy memories there, but there are also some very dark and scary memories too. I haven't been back there in 21 years as I didn't feel ready or willing to step back into that part of my past. I went through years of hypnosis and therapy to forget and cope with what happened to me in that city and to heal, and I didn't want that healing to start unraveling.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have a couple of dear friends from high school that live there, though. Through the miracle of Facebook we've found each other again and became friends again (bonus miracle!). And I want to see them. So I'm going.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Healing doesn't unravel. I'm free from my past. I'm safe. I'm strong. I have control over my thoughts. My friends in that city have my back. These are truths that I know with every fiber of my being now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's miracles #10 and 11.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm making a very conscious decision to go to that place and treat it as a new place to me. No driving by my old houses, no literal walks down memory lane... I'm creating a fresh experience in that place with the Love and Light of some very special friends. The past is the in the past, no one can hurt me there anymore. It's just a place. A place where friends of mine live. The city and my past holds no power over me. I am free from that negative energy. And I forgive.... thanks to Louise Hay's sage words:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">"</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 1.462em;"><i>Forgiving someone </i></span><span style="line-height: 23.383333206176758px;"><i>doesn't</i></span><span style="line-height: 1.462em;"><i> mean that we condone their behavior. The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting ourselves free from holding on to the pain. It’s simply an act of releasing ourselves from the negative energy."</i></span></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-6119422856398175672012-10-06T07:00:00.000-05:002012-10-07T23:06:12.016-05:00I Surprise Myself- Twice<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>After my first Teal 5K I felt really good, and so gung ho about continuing to train for another 5K. "I am a runner, I really did it!"- I said that to myself many times. I'm amazed and grateful for this body that can do so much after enduring so much abuse and cancer treatment.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i> In my delirious post-first-race joy I even committed to running the<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #cc0000;">St. Jude HALF MARATHON in December of 2013</span><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic;"> </span><i>with an awesome and precious online friend. She runs quite a few races, but offered to do this HM with me at my own pace. I was so touched and just couldn't resist meeting her and running with her so I quickly agreed. It just may turn into a fabulous meeting of a group of online friends, right before my 40th birthday. Whoa, </i><span style="color: purple;"><i>40th... </i>Wait...what. That can't be right. Someone check those numbers.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Moving on... </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And so I started imaging myself running a half marathon... taking it from blurry disbelief to crystal clear images....</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>The Monday following the Teal 5K I stood up from a kitchen chair, as I have thousands of times in my life, and my back and outer thighs lit up in fiery pain. Sciatica, my mind immediately told me. I experienced a similar sciatic event last September, <a href="http://cancerasmycatalyst.blogspot.com/2011/09/1-year-chemo-free-cancerversary.html" target="_blank">remember?</a> (I don't really expect you to remember.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I was crushed and broken spirited. I was angry at the radiation treatments that caused that area of my body to be weakened and vulnerable. I wasn't sure I could or should run again. I was slapped in the face with the reminder that treatment may be done, but it's not 100% over. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Then I remembered not to focus on what I didn't want- pain, suffering, misery, depression- and shifted into gratitude and filling my mind and mouth with words of healing, love and encouragement. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>My life has such amazing synchronicity. I had made a reflexology appointment for next day with <a href="http://footstepsineden.com/" target="_blank">Footsteps in Eden</a>, originally to de-stress and pamper my body after the 5K. How fortuitous. It was excruciating to walk, and I couldn't drive. I'm so grateful to have a sister who could chauffeur me to this appointment. Synchronicity strikes again. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Reflexology and Young Living's essential oils are what helped me recover and heal from last year's sciatic event, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that combo would come through for me again. And it has! This <a href="http://www.reflexandmore.com/Sciatica.html" target="_blank">article</a> explains how reflexology relaxes the sciatic nerve and why it's so important. <Do you use reflexology?> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Lynn, of Footsteps in Eden, uses Young Living Essential Oils and instinctively knew that Juniper essential oil would be helpful to my healing. She was absolutely right! Juniper was a new oil to me, and I always enjoy finding new miracles of Divine nature. A few minutes after she first rubbed a couple drops of Juniper oil into my sciatic reflex I felt my lower back release and relax. Ahhhhhh. I ordered my own bottle when I got home. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Here's more information <a href="http://www.experience-essential-oils.com/juniper-essential-oil.html" target="_blank">Juniper Essential Oil</a>... which can also be helpful for skin conditions, improving the health of your kidneys, relieving bladder infections, easing liver problems, varicose veins and ulcers to just name a few. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>By the end of the first session I felt majorly relieved and found myself moving a bit easier. Reflexology often has a cumulative effect, which was true in this situation for me. I faithfully applied the Juniper essential oil and rubbed my own sciatic reflex over the next few days and noticed marked improvement every morning. A miracle, truly. Last year's sciatic event caused me to 'down and out' for a couple of months. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>This past Tuesday I had another tranquil reflexology treatment and feel only a slight vague tightness in my lower back afterwards. Today it was almost Noon before I even noticed or remembered this sciatic event. Astounding. Miracles and synchronicity at their best. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I am in awe of God's loving healing and energy in my life, even at my darkest moments I know Light is in me and surrounding me. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I've decided to continue to run, but I will start training from square one to rebuild my strength in my lower back and core so I can avoid another sciatic event in my future. I'm starting with walking for a few weeks, and I'm planning on reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/ChiRunning-Revolutionary-Approach-Effortless-Injury-Free/dp/1416549447" target="_blank">Chi Running</a>. I'm drawn to the 'chi' concept... but more on that in my next post. I'll escalate my half marathon training from there, and be ready for <a href="http://www.stjudemarathon.org/halfmarathon.htm" target="_blank">St. Jude's Half Marathon</a> next December. (Who said that??) </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>What are YOU doing next December? Want to join us? </i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-28009275901130844122012-10-04T20:10:00.001-05:002012-10-04T20:10:45.685-05:00Teal 5K<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The beautiful and busy TEAL month of September has somehow ended already. It was an incredible month of activity and advocacy to raise awareness of ovarian cancer which left me little time to write about it. Ironically when I was blogging regularly I didn't have much of a life, and now that my life is so rich and full I haven't much time for blogging. I'm grateful for this life I've created, <i>and</i> am committed to blogging much more often.</div>
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This tiny blog is about to play a big role in a project called The Zen Method that I am honored and excited about... but I'm getting ahead of myself.</div>
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My last post was right before Teal for a Cure, my first running/walking 5K. Last year this event, without the 5K, had 225 participants. This year with the 5K added in we had an astonishing 909 participants! It was a sea of glorious TEAL. It felt surreal being there with all those people... I felt like I missed so much of it even though I was there... overwhelming grateful to everyone who worked so hard to create and support event and for all the people who donated their money and sweat to raise awareness of ovarian cancer.</div>
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Before the Race started the cameras clicked...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gW7VL18hTCs/UG4iUcGQ6HI/AAAAAAAAFy0/orEBwcyKa3s/s1600/330949_502020533141627_459922199_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gW7VL18hTCs/UG4iUcGQ6HI/AAAAAAAAFy0/orEBwcyKa3s/s320/330949_502020533141627_459922199_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My running guru for the hour, Susan. She knew when to push me and when to slow down. She rocks.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSGxVER8942ielzhYqJF-yU37770vmzP7MCY8T5T4TSrVCfVP26UrCpPzOm1QeKGqpQ13RdSpMuDmEMi6RejIqeH_R2e-w95iSUmN1l6VSITv0sg8p-slMQDxLBGHlkiMbzWu3f2PQTKt-/s1600/317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSGxVER8942ielzhYqJF-yU37770vmzP7MCY8T5T4TSrVCfVP26UrCpPzOm1QeKGqpQ13RdSpMuDmEMi6RejIqeH_R2e-w95iSUmN1l6VSITv0sg8p-slMQDxLBGHlkiMbzWu3f2PQTKt-/s320/317.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My 2 oldest Peeps, TEAL Princesses. They were so excited to be at the "Teal Walk'.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wasn't well prepared for this Race in many ways. I started training way too late and pushed myself too hard. I didn't get much sleep for the whole month of September, especially the 2 nights before this Race. I didn't drink nearly enough water the morning of the Race, and only ate a banana. Mentally I pushed those things aside, but my body was not to be tricked. I was about out of steam and my body tried to tell me by setting my throat on fire when I woke up at 5am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, I Raced unprepared, exhausted, un-hydrated (un??)... but I was determined<b><u> to</u></b> Race.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I ran in memory & honor of my friend, fellow Cathlete & Teal Sister who earned her teal Wings a couple days before this Race.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My new friend, and Teal Sister, Marie (pictured below) graciously and thankfully ran and walked along side me and Susan. She came from out of town to be a part of the event, and didn't know anyone. I know her mom, a graceful strong and kind woman, and so I befriended her. Marie has those same beautiful characteristics of her mom. I am honored that she stuck with me through the Race as I know she could have finished much faster if she choose to. That's what Survivors- despite the color of our ribbons- do for each other. We hang on, hang in, encourage, share... </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">L- Leisa Middle- Marie R me</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There were A. LOT. OF. HILLS. I heard seasoned runners call this course 'tough'. The first mile was all shady climb then it flattened out and the sun beat down on us. My running guru for the hour, Susan, was so encouraging and kind. She even made up a cheer for me to the Mickey Mouse tune' C O N N I E it's her first 5K! Yay!'. God love her. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I didn't have time before the long walk up hill to the start line to grab my interval timer so decided to just wing it. Not so smart. So I ran as much as I could, but walked much more than I had intended. My body was exhausted and just wasn't going to be forced into a stellar performance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then again, I WAS out there giving it my all ... and I'm quite proud of that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We hit the second water hole and I couldn't believe we were two thirds done! I had a burst of energy and thankfully we got back into shade. I pushed along... and then there was the 3 mile flag. JOY!! Susan encouraged me to run that last 0.1 of a mile- downhill- to the finish line... and we did. I ran as fast as I could and was pleasantly shocked to see 56 minutes on the timer. By some wonderful miracle I was going to finish in less than 60 minutes despite all the circumstances. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My official time was 57:37. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'd love to say that I looked victorious crossing the finish line. You know, fist pumping in the air as I slide gracefully through the finish line with a bright smile on my face. That would have been a lovely story. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead I crossed the finish line and threw up a little. And very ungracefully threw myself on the nearest piece of grass and collected myself. Susan got me an apple, my sister Sally (who also ran her first 5K and finished in 55 minutes!!) got me water, and a lady I didn't know fanned me. My brother in law's Uncle Steve stood by and made sure I was recovering... and I did. The apple and water helped a lot. I stretched some and rejoined the group for the event's finale. We released doves in memory of our Teal Angels, including the lovely Virginia.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you'd like to see more pictures of the event, please LIKE the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation's <a href="https://www.facebook.com/OCAFoundation" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">By 1pm I was sound asleep on my couch.. after a long nap and quiet evening I was proud to put on this handmade, specially made for me, bling shirt from my Florida friend Lesile. If you like her work, please LIKE her <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bling-Artist/313711358657830" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>. She will be happy to bling you up! I will wear this shirt often. Thank you, Lesile!! </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-15789193414537303462012-09-20T00:06:00.002-05:002012-09-20T00:09:44.638-05:00Cocoon LayersIn 2 days I will be running/walking a 5K, <a href="http://www.ocafoundation.org/" target="_blank">Teal for a Cure</a> at the beautiful Shelby Farms. It's the first 5K that I'm running, though I've walked a 5K in the past. In my 'far away and with much heavier body before cancer' past.<br />
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It's astoundingly wonderful to me that my body as it is now is able to run. I'm in love with the notion that I can define running however I want and no 'running definition' policemen will hunt me down. I run slow, but both of my feet leave the ground at the same time and that- to me- is running. And I love the support and camaraderie of runners. It's great to have people encouraging me, the good for the soul kind of great.<br />
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However, I'm not new to working out, in fact I've been a proud Cathlete (avid fan of <a href="http://cathe.com/video-clips" target="_blank">Cathe Friedrich's</a> workouts) for over 12 years now. Though I share strong bond with my fellow Cathletes, the relationships- sadly- are mostly trapped in the Web. Oh how I wish it were different, though!! My workouts- as awesome and challenging as they truly are- are done in the privacy of my home. I'm generally not comfortable working out in front of people... But this running thing has changed me.<br />
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Or rather, this surviving cancer thing has changed me. Now I run in a public park in workout clothes instead of baggy cottons. Now I go to running shoe stores and run in front of strangers to find the great fitting shoes without anxiety. And I'm making running friends. Which feels strange but also very comfortable all at once. I've run with my youngest sister, Sally. And a new friend, who I met online and is a fellow blogger at <a href="http://www.irunformylife.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">I Run For My Life</a>, Susan has graciously agreed to run Teal for a Cure with me. She's a seasoned marathon runner and a very sweet, fun and easy to talk to lady. I know she'll help me through the tough spots and keep me focused on the positives. You have my sincere gratitude, Susan.<br />
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I'm emerging from my cancer cocoon and realizing that the cocoon is made up of many layers. The latest layer has uncovered these gems of wisdom and change~<br />
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I'm not comparing my running to anyone else's, I'm enjoying that I CAN run while challenging myself with each run. I'm amazingly grateful.<br />
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The real me knows that it doesn't matter how much time it takes me to complete this 5K on Saturday morning. Sure, I'd like to finish in 55 minutes or less. Yet, I know the true joy and miracle is that I can run/walk 3.1 miles.<br />
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Although I wish I had the physique of a runner right now, but I won't let my frivolous ego hold me back. My body is changing... becoming leaner, stronger, faster, more flexible and healthier every week. How my body looks is such a tiny part of who I really am. It's reflecting in my self talk, which is a miracle in a true sense (not a sarcastic one).<br />
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Being a runner is in my soul, not my skin. Just like being a Cathlete. I just didn't realize it until I started running. My workouts and runs will show up on up outside soon enough, it was more important for the love of working out- and love of myself- get embedded in my soul.<br />
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Tomorrow I'm going to be interviewed on TV. I knew about the possibility a few days ago, but didn't really think it would happen. It's really happening now! Gulp. Wow!! Whoa. I'm honored to represent ovarian cancer Survivors, the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation, and the opportunity to use my Voice and story to raise awareness of this disease that's avoidable and treatable if caught early. Knowledge is <b><span style="color: #134f5c;">TEAL</span></b> power.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-40410232267451264552012-09-16T02:31:00.000-05:002012-09-16T02:34:07.844-05:00Awkward AnniversaryYesterday marked the 2 year anniversary of my final chemo treatment. Which is wonderful. And kind of awkward. Yes, I had cancer twice. Yes, I consider myself a Survivor. I was a whole person with dreams, problems and a life before I had either cancers. Then for about 3 years I was a cancer patient. And now I'm an upgraded model of myself post cancer. Different dreams, different problems and a whole different beautiful life.<br />
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Cancer doesn't define me. It's a chapter in my life's story that has led me to now. Now is very good and I'm quite grateful for all the people, experiences and places that envelope my life.<br />
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I'm emerging from the cocoon of individual Survivor into a butterfly of advocacy for ovarian cancer awareness and research. Yes, I'm still a Survivor and always will be. Yet I want to let go of my ultra-personal relationship to cancer. Let go of daily thoughts and memories of it. Release the addiction I sometimes feel to my cancer story. I want to let go the story of who I was and what happened to me so I can open myself to the possibilities in the NOW. It happened therefore I'm a Survivor and now I'm also an advocate...<br />
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I'm also a sister, a daughter, an Aunt, a friend, an educator, a car dancer, a runner, a Course in Miracles student, a blogger, an essential oils lover, a scrapbooker, a dreamer, and a believer in Love and God. Cancer does not define me. Cancer isn't what makes me interesting or special. It happened to me, I got treatment, I'm better now. I'm deeply grateful for the experience of cancer, and will apply what I learned from those experiences with me as I move forward with my life.<br />
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All of that is true, but then how shall I deal with these cancer anniversaries that tick in my head? This day I chose to celebrate by going to a Couch 2 5K graduation for my Teal Sister Deb and advocating to raise awareness of ovarian cancer and the upcoming Teal for a Cure 5K to the hundreds of women at the event. Then I went to my Yoga class which felt really wonderful. I spent the afternoon doing more advocacy work from bed in my comfy clothes. Then I ate a healthy dinner with a treasured friend, saw a second run movie and had an amazing discussion about <a href="http://www.marianne.com/" target="_blank">Marianne Williamson</a>'s book A Return to Love after reading 2 chapters out loud to each other.<br />
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I celebrated by living my life, by making a point to enjoy it a bit more today.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_iVVMl8OFL4ci20LVe-EvpB20bO5GXqOn8F6jxU7rY-S0DuP8_sAazFr8Bo75r7mnsHEFjihL7YZz9OWGwnIDlop_r9hwzUd8jTO-hzS803b3B_xp0IJgUNcByif1kjhpH5IjJ1meDn5z/s1600/9-15-2010+last+chemo+for+Connie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_iVVMl8OFL4ci20LVe-EvpB20bO5GXqOn8F6jxU7rY-S0DuP8_sAazFr8Bo75r7mnsHEFjihL7YZz9OWGwnIDlop_r9hwzUd8jTO-hzS803b3B_xp0IJgUNcByif1kjhpH5IjJ1meDn5z/s320/9-15-2010+last+chemo+for+Connie.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ringing the Bell at West Clinic 9/16/2010 to celebrate completing chemo</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-50919479370927009712012-09-11T20:39:00.000-05:002012-09-11T20:39:05.413-05:00Days of TealI left you with the promise to share what Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation in Memphis is doing to raise awareness of OvCa this TEAL month of September, and I always keep my promises. <div>
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Our next event is our monthly support networking group on Thursday Sept 20th 6:30pm at the Junior League building 3475 Central Ave just off Highland (near Univ of Memphis). We are having a guest speaker, Lynn Watson of <a href="http://footstepsineden.com/" target="_blank">Footsteps in Eden</a>. She's going to tell us about reflexology, how it can play a role in treatment and post-treatment recovery, teach us some moves we can do on our own and give a demonstration of what a treatment is like for 1 lucky attendee. We'll have snacks and story sharing, too, of course. </div>
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Next is the <b><span style="background-color: #134f5c; color: #76a5af;">BIG ONE</span></b>!<u><span style="color: #134f5c;"> Teal for a Cure 5K Walk/Run (or 1 Mi Fun Walk) at Shelby Farms on Saturday the 22nd starting at 8am</span></u> (race starts promptly at 9am and will go around a paved Chickasaw Trail). There will be a silent auction, Dove release for Teal Angels, live music from the Wolf River Rednecks, Door Prizes, Teal Touch mini-massages, the unveiling of our new logo (i<i>t's AWEsome</i>), and the Teal Corner shop. If you haven't registered yet, you can do so <a href="http://www.ocafoundation.com/" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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If you don't live around Memphis, and can't join us for the Walk, I'd deeply appreciate the support of your donation. You can be a spirit runner or walker for only $15 and you'll get a T-shirt, or you can simply donate to OCAF. But you know you want that Tshirt!!</div>
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Your donation will have greatly deep meaning to me this year for 2 reasons. First, I'll soon be <span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">celebrating 2 full years since completing and surviving chemo</span>. <i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b>This is gigantic</b></span></i>! </div>
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Second, for the first time ever in my entire life<span style="color: #45818e;"><b> I will be running and walking this 5K.</b></span> Yes, you read that right. I've let go of my old saying that I only run if I'm being chased. Now I run because I can. I run because my body is able to run. I run because I can make my own definition of running (I recently learned that you can make running mean and look like whatever you want to yourself). I run because I'm grateful to this body and soul that has been through the darkest of tunnels and come out to find abundant bright Light and Love.</div>
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I was inspired to start running just a couple of weeks ago by a Teal Sister, and <a href="http://www.thiscatholicmom.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">blogger</a>, Deb. She's been training using Couch to 5K and will be graduating from that program this Saturday morning. I'm going to cheer for her and celebrate that she CAN run with her. She's a little older than me and has a bit less time in remission than me, and so I could think of absolutely no reason I shouldn't at least <i>try</i> to run. </div>
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And now I love to run. Well, I love that I <i>can </i>run then I start running and feel great for a little bit then it feels challenging but then I stretch under the big trees in the park and get that glorious runner's high for the rest of the day and love it all over again.</div>
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So, would please support me in my first ever running 5K? </div>
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My next post I'll share my complex feelings of being out of treatment for 2 full years, and even more Days of TEAL in Memphis with OCAF. </div>
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Light and Love going out tonight, and always, to all the lives that were lost and forever altered by the events of 9/11/01. I saw this quote today and thought it fit in beautifully with my upcoming cancer anniversary and memorial of 9/11/01~<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">“There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.' No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster." Dalai Lama XIV</span></i></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-85778116541109549272012-08-27T21:31:00.000-05:002012-08-27T21:31:09.431-05:00Living Again (And a fun little challenge for you, too)My blog, that is, is living again. No, really. I'm bringing it back with a fresh Voice, my Voice from a different perspective and joined with other OvCa Survivors. Cancer will always be personal to me, but my eyes and heart have seen cancer, particularly gynecological cancers, from a different perspective since I went to the <a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/" target="_blank">Ovarian Cancer National Alliance</a> Conference in July. I was honored to be awarded a the Judy Childress Scholarship from the <a href="http://www.ocafoundation.com/" target="_blank">Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation</a> here in Memphis to attend this amazing conference in our Nation's Capital of Washington D.C. I went as a Survivor, and came back a Survivor/Advocate poised to make progress.<br />
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The conference was not at all what I thought it would be, like many things in life. I pictured bald women holding hands and crying a lot. (Why do I <i>still</i> think of that first when I think of women cancer Fighters and Survivors?? That's a stereotype, an UNTRUE stereotype.) Though tears were shed- some of sadness, some of accomplishment and pride, this conference was about education, empowerment and getting Poised for Progress in advocating for ovarian cancer on national and state levels.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKk0bfJP80M1muGbux4DguAXXjuag0xOZ2QOBCsbE6tWoIL9pLopomtYF1YE9Fft5tbPu7RzJuoIrtC0vMUGbddDPBIyGh7C-MtRMcRCWyQa_vT72ZWZ3GWBGSFAILSXqyCryu_n5MVc7U/s1600/2012-07-14+14.07.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKk0bfJP80M1muGbux4DguAXXjuag0xOZ2QOBCsbE6tWoIL9pLopomtYF1YE9Fft5tbPu7RzJuoIrtC0vMUGbddDPBIyGh7C-MtRMcRCWyQa_vT72ZWZ3GWBGSFAILSXqyCryu_n5MVc7U/s400/2012-07-14+14.07.01.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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This conference was full of Teal (the color representing ovarian cancer) Power, Sisterhood, detailed education and and a grass roots type movement to raise awareness of this often deadly disease to individuals and government as well as raising money for research. It was empowering to the Teal power! I came home changed, healed, grateful for new friends and mentors, and ready to step out of such a personal relationship with cancer and into the role of an Advocate. My world has gotten bigger and richer- all because I had cancer. Now that's catalyst-ism at it's best.<br />
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If you'd like to see the videos, summaries or power point presentations taken from the conference, please click <a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/2012-materials/" target="_blank">here.</a> There is tons of great information, there was no fluff at this conference! Great job, OCNA! And thank you.<br />
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The conference wasn't all education and business, though. We had a party to celebrate OCNA's 15th Birthday! There's a video of me dancing, but no one will ever see it. That's a promise, and you're welcome. I was having so much fun I didn't get very many pictures but here are a couple. The first (left to right) yours truly, Carol Rodman, and Judy Childress. They are Board members of Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation in Memphis and are warm, kind, and lovely women who are working diligently to raise awareness of OvCa not only in Memphis, but nationally too. I love them pieces and am deeply grateful for both of them. That's the honest truth, it was such an honor to be at this conference with them. If you'd like to see the photo galleries from the conference, please click <a href="http://risdonfoto.photoshelter.com/gallery-collection/OCNA-2012-Conference/C0000dxf0OgZeRN8" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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<u><span style="background-color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: white;">Fun little Challenge for YOU</span></span><span style="color: #134f5c;">:</span></u> I found myself in 6 pictures (use the link above), if you can find all 6 and identify the photo number I'll send the first 3 people a little fun prize. Please send me an <a href="mailto:greeneyedlefty74@gmail.com" target="_blank">email</a> with your answers. <i>Do not post your findings/answer as a comment because that would give it away!</i><br />
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I couldn't go to DC without doing a bit of sightseeing. Here are the highlights- </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM6FcPRHLQhjyWS140Arpi-l1wVwDSk56zPrEZMcEG56XNdBSQ-HgZKwQlKJnCmMRuiwmDdwAPfCLJdbFLQJ9uJra64p_DKfagQmWMaNJQnHWf52nn6QRvBCpXRvrW5g00nqihO6AAE4pH/s1600/jeffersonstatue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM6FcPRHLQhjyWS140Arpi-l1wVwDSk56zPrEZMcEG56XNdBSQ-HgZKwQlKJnCmMRuiwmDdwAPfCLJdbFLQJ9uJra64p_DKfagQmWMaNJQnHWf52nn6QRvBCpXRvrW5g00nqihO6AAE4pH/s320/jeffersonstatue.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thomas Jefferson Memorial<br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeA-vC_DNM48waakTVapjfcmw7IrM6WDLCDKWn18KPhmF5bDOe41rPvu6I-3ZzTRV7DRzYWIu7IzrMm7QVVmL8n1vt9s3FcHlsnTwRhR6C674cKO7j9r8qanqAiJkWwmn89d9fzyltJq0l/s1600/conniecaptl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeA-vC_DNM48waakTVapjfcmw7IrM6WDLCDKWn18KPhmF5bDOe41rPvu6I-3ZzTRV7DRzYWIu7IzrMm7QVVmL8n1vt9s3FcHlsnTwRhR6C674cKO7j9r8qanqAiJkWwmn89d9fzyltJq0l/s320/conniecaptl.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me in front of the Capital</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OkpO7AKZF4/UDwqRLeP-jI/AAAAAAAAEPU/zGHXIyLgjTE/s1600/capitalbldng.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OkpO7AKZF4/UDwqRLeP-jI/AAAAAAAAEPU/zGHXIyLgjTE/s320/capitalbldng.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A truly AWEsome sight</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PxRZ9zJSWZM/UDwqfSrdGBI/AAAAAAAAEP0/b0RhzaL_QJI/s1600/ww2plaque.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PxRZ9zJSWZM/UDwqfSrdGBI/AAAAAAAAEP0/b0RhzaL_QJI/s320/ww2plaque.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">World War II Memorial</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yrRXZpmtSeo/UDwqdLgxk-I/AAAAAAAAEPs/uArGOd-pwKc/s1600/ww2memorial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yrRXZpmtSeo/UDwqdLgxk-I/AAAAAAAAEPs/uArGOd-pwKc/s320/ww2memorial.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another part of the WW2 Memorial</td></tr>
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I am filled with gratitude for the experience of this Conference... I have so much more to share with you, my dear patient readers,- all with roots in this Conference. There's time, thankfully, I have time to share it. I'm deeply grateful to be in my 21st month of Remission. If feels a little silly counting the months, but each month- each day- is truly precious. </div>
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Next blog post will be about what OCAF- Memphis is doing for OvCa advocacy in the Teal month of September. (There's LOTS, and you can be a part of it. Yep, you.) </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-33368571461543408532012-07-20T16:41:00.001-05:002012-07-20T16:41:39.454-05:00Eight months ago....was the last time I wrote on this blog. How did that happen? I can't believe it's been that long... Lots of things have happened in my life since my last post and I just lost track of my blog. Truth is that I needed to step away from such a personal relationship with cancer for awhile. I needed to figure out how to be a positive Voice without reliving the hardships of cancer. I've got 20 months of lovely Remission built up and I'm ready to move forward in a fresh way.<br />
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I'm very happy to have found 2 new ways to use my Voice, in addition to this blog, to advocate for ovarian cancer Survivors. I was awarded a scholarship to attend the Ovarian Cancer Alliance Conference in Washington, D.C. last weekend. This year's theme was Poised for Progress, and indeed I am! Going to this conference opened a new world to me- a world of passionate and smart advocacy and beautifully strong Teal Sisterhood.<br />
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I'll be sharing pictures, stories and the highlights of what I learned at this amazing Conference in upcoming posts. Meanwhile, feel free to explore on your own- <a href="http://www.ovariancancer.org/2012/07/19/ovarian-cancer-national-alliance-hosts-15th-annual-conference-poised-for-progress/">http://www.ovariancancer.org/2012/07/19/ovarian-cancer-national-alliance-hosts-15th-annual-conference-poised-for-progress/</a><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: large;"><b>This blog lives again!</b></span><br />
And will be getting a face lift very soon... do you have any suggestions? Please leave a comment or send me an email.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-82072077873096760502011-11-11T22:55:00.000-06:002011-11-11T22:55:54.491-06:001st Year AnnivHappy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy happy happy anniversary- to ME!<br />
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Exactly one year ago today I heard the beautiful word <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">REMISSION</span> </span>from my gynecologic oncologist. (<a href="http://cancerasmycatalyst.blogspot.com/2010/11/celebrating-with-cashmere.html">Here's how I felt last year on this day.</a>)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRQgnH4JwyaYnNw95iKPVKfgKaJhyVWz9jS-WNU9SZX784H3A1Pmx3nwKt8tZsIt3huhu_8IQs73kLOCxu0949Si2OGgXVWFZ9uNlMDDfv5qeusE3eqfR_ivH-lEmiGzM1brXhoiWJhO6s/s1600/002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRQgnH4JwyaYnNw95iKPVKfgKaJhyVWz9jS-WNU9SZX784H3A1Pmx3nwKt8tZsIt3huhu_8IQs73kLOCxu0949Si2OGgXVWFZ9uNlMDDfv5qeusE3eqfR_ivH-lEmiGzM1brXhoiWJhO6s/s320/002.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Formerly-my Marine sent me 2 dozen beautiful roses about a week ago to brighten the celebration. He was so sweet to include peach roses in honor of my first diagnosis of uterine cancer. They were gorgeous, and I deeply appreciate his gift and poetic note. Thank you for remembering and sharing a piece of the celebration, wherever you are serving our country. </div><br />
This morning I was really emotional, and had a few crying spells. I cried out of relief for continued Remission. I cried out of feeling overwhelmed with all the things happening in my life that I can't control. I cried over Veterans Day... missing my Bapa (may he Rest in Peace) and missing "my" Marine. I cried for the Survivors that I care about that are in the Fighting stage and aren't feeling the joy of Remission yet. And I cried for those Fighters who will never know the joy of Remission. I cried out of guilt.<br />
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Today was a day to celebrate, though. So I shed my tears and then moved forward.<br />
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I celebrated by sleeping a bit late, honoring Veterans by doing an oldie but goodie Cathe Friedrich workout called Bootcamp (it's a circuit workout with 8 cycles of 1 minute of cardio, upper body, lower body and core exercises), studying for next week's securities exam, an extra long shower with luxurious shea butter salt exfoliation...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsLVSE1Lai1geVaRkd4qgDQEEWZ2GWmKW6UbPT8_0lFg2wjQfNuB1pCSs67lcTXUtQQ_p0dyTRV1uNAHQDKBbgsozuvHXgvLyZGjgcOpu3bklfPcLBPi2YOZmXKajWyy_LKqEgkc6ouDnn/s1600/2011-11-11+13.45.09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsLVSE1Lai1geVaRkd4qgDQEEWZ2GWmKW6UbPT8_0lFg2wjQfNuB1pCSs67lcTXUtQQ_p0dyTRV1uNAHQDKBbgsozuvHXgvLyZGjgcOpu3bklfPcLBPi2YOZmXKajWyy_LKqEgkc6ouDnn/s320/2011-11-11+13.45.09.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hWU5yiv3FzE/Tr32jTNUvAI/AAAAAAAACg8/9AVPv8E72Cs/s1600/2011-11-11+14.04.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hWU5yiv3FzE/Tr32jTNUvAI/AAAAAAAACg8/9AVPv8E72Cs/s320/2011-11-11+14.04.12.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbs4YPYhMROASbdipkmAk_LY69hEs1qMMigquuxWCPL_5iDeCo2WAwKp8s6Zn-btAotMz_G5lkG-WmJlMXcQDI5ZIpSr1bpsoXjaDjtPzLJ9yQezCUe2E1TxbDatQg2IRE0Iq31LTyNIa/s1600/2011-11-11+14.17.28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbs4YPYhMROASbdipkmAk_LY69hEs1qMMigquuxWCPL_5iDeCo2WAwKp8s6Zn-btAotMz_G5lkG-WmJlMXcQDI5ZIpSr1bpsoXjaDjtPzLJ9yQezCUe2E1TxbDatQg2IRE0Iq31LTyNIa/s320/2011-11-11+14.17.28.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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a delicious lunch of divine twin lobster tails and a shared brownie macadamia nut sundae with the best Caregiver in my world at Bonefish Grill (thank you, Mom!), and topped the celebration off with finding the perfect pair of trouser jeans that I've wished I could fit into for a long time. An absolutely lovely afternoon of celebration!! I'm filled with thankfulness.<br />
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I thought it would be interesting to see how my look has changed from the beginning of my second diagnosis in January of 2010 to today... I hope to get back to this first picture soon... but I know that old me is gone. This post treatment look and feel is completely different, and I'm still learning to love and accept this as I strive improve my body and health.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyRJFxHUl4y1YOEp2v_r1OAtbHa8iWDA03ds47DMSQy9-STCZDMwDyJ4K9SzXu7cVi4ON1cCVg9QcjR53zzwT19OUgjxHtFohG5WuZEJCXyzQiZNM2AtlYG2NjcSnTh8-xEwTYV6kefkKJ/s1600/IMG_0683.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyRJFxHUl4y1YOEp2v_r1OAtbHa8iWDA03ds47DMSQy9-STCZDMwDyJ4K9SzXu7cVi4ON1cCVg9QcjR53zzwT19OUgjxHtFohG5WuZEJCXyzQiZNM2AtlYG2NjcSnTh8-xEwTYV6kefkKJ/s320/IMG_0683.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Pre- dx 2 in October of 2009 back in South Florida.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2yCY0fVUTaK_3qCZ5q2yqlOTeaSMWG-7nY_UF52N8qWeiF7ekwE_Hyo9p2L7DvGQ1IHIRpu7LsKCVPlWLIJAh6TUJ_gppaFD0v5LPCXiABfRFA5UqK3cGwx5TcrGv2wazB2p0TasCm-Ok/s1600/Relay-31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2yCY0fVUTaK_3qCZ5q2yqlOTeaSMWG-7nY_UF52N8qWeiF7ekwE_Hyo9p2L7DvGQ1IHIRpu7LsKCVPlWLIJAh6TUJ_gppaFD0v5LPCXiABfRFA5UqK3cGwx5TcrGv2wazB2p0TasCm-Ok/s320/Relay-31.jpg" width="228" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I moved home to West Tennessee in May of 2010, after radiation. Relay for Life in Fayette county was the following weekend. My mom and I shared a big hug before the walk began. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja84H_FopLxZZ-QxmnargbMqfxLOUiUg-CWc-76sQXrN0Mlqqu0uHUGntgcDNuzZLitjfZVxZRTM4stbg2ed6LybvNUFGIuBbmPoFLDNGccBrHyWvcav7Fa03xaxuLkBo2hRO7KB-micS0/s1600/025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja84H_FopLxZZ-QxmnargbMqfxLOUiUg-CWc-76sQXrN0Mlqqu0uHUGntgcDNuzZLitjfZVxZRTM4stbg2ed6LybvNUFGIuBbmPoFLDNGccBrHyWvcav7Fa03xaxuLkBo2hRO7KB-micS0/s320/025.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The day I started chemo, my nephew was born. He was so sweet to wait until my first treatment was over so Mom and I could be there for him and his mama.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PTswt8IU8pM/Tr3ZbMj9L_I/AAAAAAAACdE/XamVujDbYNk/s1600/100_2139.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PTswt8IU8pM/Tr3ZbMj9L_I/AAAAAAAACdE/XamVujDbYNk/s320/100_2139.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A couple weeks later my hair started falling out. This was the short haircut I got to try to delay the process and deal with it emotionally. That didn't last long... This was the night my sister Heidi, my mom and I had a margarita party and shaved my head. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiREG0vq9sX8JRBl-X2nSot3tA1FWArV9vuTJHl-4UrHJOQg6gr2ORdzia2-chzO2zrN9q2BqygnhmMMPjVuhHeY7AAmNAbhXrY94NoNFpBW1kGKJxPk8zM_6PlTe0kFwak63qy9Vbn9gZu/s1600/100_2140.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiREG0vq9sX8JRBl-X2nSot3tA1FWArV9vuTJHl-4UrHJOQg6gr2ORdzia2-chzO2zrN9q2BqygnhmMMPjVuhHeY7AAmNAbhXrY94NoNFpBW1kGKJxPk8zM_6PlTe0kFwak63qy9Vbn9gZu/s320/100_2140.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">An interesting look for me... I was so thankful to have a new baby to snuggle up to.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuMIABhqVBVoT0lybCVaSti2iOMtQCLX5k8WYhRli0B12tX0GYqQacO-93KmToHBdd_AvKFlFGRU6K8jDpJPG983K2TdzcVDrGpAvLqPcHbSYRp49Qy5wuw6_KrjKZVoVmJvYKPWPqiR9i/s1600/My+wig%252C+its+auburn+with+red+highlights.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuMIABhqVBVoT0lybCVaSti2iOMtQCLX5k8WYhRli0B12tX0GYqQacO-93KmToHBdd_AvKFlFGRU6K8jDpJPG983K2TdzcVDrGpAvLqPcHbSYRp49Qy5wuw6_KrjKZVoVmJvYKPWPqiR9i/s320/My+wig%252C+its+auburn+with+red+highlights.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A couple weeks later I got a wig. I only wore it once. It just wasn't me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oavtTHQaa4o/Tr3muC86SJI/AAAAAAAACd8/2gliy0SGaOI/s1600/Summer+2010+026.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oavtTHQaa4o/Tr3muC86SJI/AAAAAAAACd8/2gliy0SGaOI/s320/Summer+2010+026.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I was just getting used to going bald in public and around the house when this picture was taken in July. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWnY2TzBzq4b1l_Vio-NGJ1odFBnUpCEXatgK_eZI2PPSbGGuVd0vWksDE8HE40CX15xa9BoUTLE2weYrJTrOuEZ3d55PizG0c1_0nMAb6_PAAAu3v1yUk80a6mJ6CcX2akSNW9tRwiP_V/s1600/ConnieBaldJuly10.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWnY2TzBzq4b1l_Vio-NGJ1odFBnUpCEXatgK_eZI2PPSbGGuVd0vWksDE8HE40CX15xa9BoUTLE2weYrJTrOuEZ3d55PizG0c1_0nMAb6_PAAAu3v1yUk80a6mJ6CcX2akSNW9tRwiP_V/s320/ConnieBaldJuly10.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">By the end of July I had accepted being bald fairly well. I only kept these eyebrows and stray strands for a couple weeks. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_iVVMl8OFL4ci20LVe-EvpB20bO5GXqOn8F6jxU7rY-S0DuP8_sAazFr8Bo75r7mnsHEFjihL7YZz9OWGwnIDlop_r9hwzUd8jTO-hzS803b3B_xp0IJgUNcByif1kjhpH5IjJ1meDn5z/s1600/9-15-2010+last+chemo+for+Connie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_iVVMl8OFL4ci20LVe-EvpB20bO5GXqOn8F6jxU7rY-S0DuP8_sAazFr8Bo75r7mnsHEFjihL7YZz9OWGwnIDlop_r9hwzUd8jTO-hzS803b3B_xp0IJgUNcByif1kjhpH5IjJ1meDn5z/s320/9-15-2010+last+chemo+for+Connie.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My last chemo treatment was 9/15/10 and I got to ring the big bell. I felt so weak and sick standing out there in the sticky heat, but I was thankful that chemo was over.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnL_ekCB0mOa-rOzFySA0cnb9pnadAabap5qknysPZ5zW1zESDmKXW1BomJvcEhMpdklyYeJwijH4dHOjUPyMMGKjCtSk0lJSP7ssP5j7EylRjWzyFWk7trtIhYnW7YqhkTawcFOz2qt0z/s1600/006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnL_ekCB0mOa-rOzFySA0cnb9pnadAabap5qknysPZ5zW1zESDmKXW1BomJvcEhMpdklyYeJwijH4dHOjUPyMMGKjCtSk0lJSP7ssP5j7EylRjWzyFWk7trtIhYnW7YqhkTawcFOz2qt0z/s320/006.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Last fall I looked like a ghost. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoYbFxi2OA-4qKtrCyTqDq9M6KLjKx-VhxiDVpNMbaERM9R_-V_yFG7K_kwxAdPK3nGqc0ZVPFB5iS0g_JMGjP4YYaMB8TBfKwI2h0mSwpUzDuK3Zh9r6SwN_Lxfn_4WI165vUv3CvV_v/s1600/Halloween+2010+161.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoYbFxi2OA-4qKtrCyTqDq9M6KLjKx-VhxiDVpNMbaERM9R_-V_yFG7K_kwxAdPK3nGqc0ZVPFB5iS0g_JMGjP4YYaMB8TBfKwI2h0mSwpUzDuK3Zh9r6SwN_Lxfn_4WI165vUv3CvV_v/s320/Halloween+2010+161.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Last Halloween.... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfNX38TNEUOUVtSK7O3xA2ZmFqijeFD2ZS930Vp2pUgUlUMKiezgyixvWwd5H9iVqTtsD6vKjDS__ubVkcrOFDTXBduPX_OngdY2jJ6hNbkF4T4ayuUS2C_CzvpPSR8YVnMMGAL7m5hp9B/s1600/%255BUNSET%255D" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfNX38TNEUOUVtSK7O3xA2ZmFqijeFD2ZS930Vp2pUgUlUMKiezgyixvWwd5H9iVqTtsD6vKjDS__ubVkcrOFDTXBduPX_OngdY2jJ6hNbkF4T4ayuUS2C_CzvpPSR8YVnMMGAL7m5hp9B/s320/%255BUNSET%255D" width="181" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">11/11/10- Remission-ing in celebration cashmere.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIvsglv17T6_9WWz5HcP9yvFW_FgxFvJZ2hv2R56FyrRcnegUBAypp4KSdiM0az6qr1n9IN4rNMelY-qlwV7fqJW4cxvkNpvUPwB0RveTAt3YCLa7J4cILHec_NAqKXImOSJ8GlDb-T8ou/s1600/ConnieDec2010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIvsglv17T6_9WWz5HcP9yvFW_FgxFvJZ2hv2R56FyrRcnegUBAypp4KSdiM0az6qr1n9IN4rNMelY-qlwV7fqJW4cxvkNpvUPwB0RveTAt3YCLa7J4cILHec_NAqKXImOSJ8GlDb-T8ou/s320/ConnieDec2010.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">By early December I had some fuzz on my head again, and I was so glad though I didn't really like how I looked during the re-growth. I was thankful to have eyebrows again.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZLlRGdIKavh8pwvU4lZTCzg9qp8_XHJwVscG-CrUS9vIoqWP4OC8T1riwFkThPbdqN6ulR9W0VqApP744AVFmNfLZbIgYhsJ5FoOsS14iN5L6oMldDxuSV0zYX4GrmA7h_GMyZwsV3VHQ/s1600/002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZLlRGdIKavh8pwvU4lZTCzg9qp8_XHJwVscG-CrUS9vIoqWP4OC8T1riwFkThPbdqN6ulR9W0VqApP744AVFmNfLZbIgYhsJ5FoOsS14iN5L6oMldDxuSV0zYX4GrmA7h_GMyZwsV3VHQ/s320/002.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">By January I could sport a faux hawk. I'm wearing my celebration cashmere sweater again here. Yay for cashmere in teal!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XhDFo5_HiQE/Tr3opa7EKuI/AAAAAAAACfM/4SRJbNlRphI/s1600/March+2011+035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XhDFo5_HiQE/Tr3opa7EKuI/AAAAAAAACfM/4SRJbNlRphI/s320/March+2011+035.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">By March (remember my trip to Vegas?) I didn't look so much like a chemo patient anymore, thankfully.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfE5SAvBGy0cA6b-5x1JfVdfARyordzPekKN8V8-ONFpVPN2-FYkO1g1Ad3pvjuunzhTEQKq-4q_7uTAqTLXHA2Y2nybUAn-dKZIAb0I8eZzo-SaTlkLFgGMyETe15L7-gt6jLJcpDlylg/s1600/IMG00115-20110521-1158.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfE5SAvBGy0cA6b-5x1JfVdfARyordzPekKN8V8-ONFpVPN2-FYkO1g1Ad3pvjuunzhTEQKq-4q_7uTAqTLXHA2Y2nybUAn-dKZIAb0I8eZzo-SaTlkLFgGMyETe15L7-gt6jLJcpDlylg/s320/IMG00115-20110521-1158.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">By May I had short dark curls that were finally starting to look good to me. This was last year's Relay for Life shirt that my sister and I designed for the Team her employer sponsors every year.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJVcGG0I4KyX6mhQm_7ZBbWGkPpfdE-pyJtZd_Zm5oRdCYyoXkVKk4mbxUmRIAQVqIbKSf_-6_w4sq_u_MLUCOc_AOgSZh_VqgDRFuCYQQLgB3oPh3v8nFRpIHb-8yJrJmoNqp3kHvckei/s1600/014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJVcGG0I4KyX6mhQm_7ZBbWGkPpfdE-pyJtZd_Zm5oRdCYyoXkVKk4mbxUmRIAQVqIbKSf_-6_w4sq_u_MLUCOc_AOgSZh_VqgDRFuCYQQLgB3oPh3v8nFRpIHb-8yJrJmoNqp3kHvckei/s320/014.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">August of 2011... curls starting to grow out which is wonderful and awkward too. Can you believe how big and adorable my nephew is now!? So many changes in just a year for both of us... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Here's how the 'do looks today... the curls seem to be here to stay though I am getting some length. I can put some hair into a ponytail now. There's one curl in the front that does this annoying Michael Jackson thing. I really really hope that grows out soon.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> I'm wearing a <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">new cashmere</span></i> sweater in celebration of my first full year of Remission. I hope to have a dresser full of celebration cashmere sweaters...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-85483146963890013142011-11-01T13:28:00.000-05:002011-11-01T13:28:28.280-05:00I couldn't sleep the night before my port a cath removal surgery. What if the surgery left a big hole in my chest that never healed? What if I can't work out again? A big case of the what if's. I gave myself a self-Reiki treatment, read a few affirmations from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1561706280/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=3101314451&ref=pd_sl_61ap3af98b_b">Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life</a>, and watched (aka previewed so I'm a little bit mentally prepared for it) a few DVDs from Cathe Friedrich's new <a href="http://shop.cathe.com/low_impact_exercise_dvds_s/90.htm">Low Impact Series</a>. <div><br />
</div><div>I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my gut about going through with the port removal. I called a dear spiritual friend and asked for guidance. He knows me very well and knew the right questions to ask to guide me to a calmer place and form a plan. I decided to go, but ask the surgeon some questions and then decide whether or not to have the surgery. My body, my choice. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Cancer treatment can take away a lot of power and choices in your life. I didn't want to get the port put in, but I didn't get much choice. So in having it removed I wanted more control.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I believe in Angels among us. God blessed me with a sweet Survivor sister Angel as I checked in. I recognized her by her bright teal toenails. A sister in ovarian cancer Survival, Carol greeted me with a hug and asked what I was doing at West Clinic. She was there to pick up a CD of a recent test, so she had a little time. She met my mom and talked with us about the pros and cons of port removal. She understands the depth of such dilemmas. I felt much better after talking with her, and thankful that God always has His hand of love and comfort on me. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I was foolishly surprised to get an IV stick. It hadn't occurred to me that port removal surgery would require an IV. Funny the things my mind thinks about and the things it completely disregards. Thankfully, the nurse only had to stick me once. Ouchie!! </div><div><br />
</div><div>I waited with my mom for 90 minutes with the IV in my arm before I even got back to the surgery prep room. The nurse started the paperwork, and I asked questions. Apparently no one has ever asked these questions before, because she didn't know the answers. She asked a surgeon to come talk with me. She couldn't have been kinder or patient with me, and I deeply appreciate it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The surgeon was also kind and patient. He said there was no reason not to have it removed, and explained in great detail why and what would happen to my body after it was gone. There's no muscle involved, the port was subcutaneous (just under the skin). This is important info to me as a Cathlete. I didn't want to damage my hard earned muscles! I felt satisfied and decided to have it removed. </div><div><br />
</div><div>As I started to undress I realized that I wore the wrong shirt. I wore long sleeve fitted shirt because it's a bit cool here. That was the wrong choice because it was painful and awkward to take off over my IV especially when I can barely move my arm. My mom had to help me. ha! </div><div><br />
</div><div>I climbed onto a very narrow table that I'm surprised that I fit on. The nurse and 2 surgical techs got me and instruments prepped. I made jokes about blood spurting because they had my covered with blue medical paper and the CT scanner covered with a big shower cap like thing. Even though it was Halloween, no blood spurted out. I was given local anesthesia and something to help me relax, but I could feel pain-less pressure of the surgeon cutting out the port and was wide awake. Yep, that's right. It's an amazing and creepy feeling. The surgeon and I had a nice discussion about finance and in a few minutes I was free of the port. </div><div><br />
</div><div>After it was out I felt the urge to see this port. The nurse cleaned it up and gave it to me to keep. It's like a cancer Survivor's medal of honor. Wanna see? </div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8mARdCW1yBk/TrA3NPs84BI/AAAAAAAACag/6tZSzHFaErI/s1600/096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8mARdCW1yBk/TrA3NPs84BI/AAAAAAAACag/6tZSzHFaErI/s320/096.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Doesn't it look like a tiny computer mouse? It's about 8 inches long and it's about 1/2" thick. No wonder it stuck out of my chest so much! </div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnzm2a24c5c2LZ_FzR-QM-nzFrKZVHszQRNbvMtNyw0adEouZJ0uCAMYPF0a2mTNCHV3TxvSod08YyY-bl2zz5fhabY_OXG2FTk3qKhdoObHYnOHN2pbc2cCFzNXdu99xCX-Hto5EMitoO/s1600/099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnzm2a24c5c2LZ_FzR-QM-nzFrKZVHszQRNbvMtNyw0adEouZJ0uCAMYPF0a2mTNCHV3TxvSod08YyY-bl2zz5fhabY_OXG2FTk3qKhdoObHYnOHN2pbc2cCFzNXdu99xCX-Hto5EMitoO/s320/099.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm relieved to have this foreign object out of my body, yet thankful for the service it provided to me during chemo. I'm going to keep it as a reminder and interesting show and tell piece. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm counting down 10 more days until 1 full year of official remission. I have something fun and special planned for the blog that day. Meanwhile, here's a peek at how much my hair has grown since the last time I shared a picture. It's still dark and really curly, but I can almost put it in a ponytail. I have so much to be thankful for.... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-44713777856112937232011-10-30T20:57:00.001-05:002011-10-30T20:57:12.487-05:00Big Remission MilestoneHello again blogaverse! No, I haven't forgotten about you. My focus has been elsewhere, though cancer Survivor is still how first define myself. I'm hoping that one day that will shift, but it's one of those things that just takes time.<br />
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A couple of weeks ago I went for my 1 year post treatment CT scan and check up. I've been meaning to blog about it since, really I have... Honest. Fantastic news!! The CT scan showed No Evidence of Disease!! My smear came back 'within normal limits'. I was a bit surprised that there's anything left in there to 'smear' but whatever. My blood work all looks great. I'm deeply thankful and relieved to more into a full year of Remission.<br />
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November 11 will be the 1 full year of Remission anniversary. It seems unreal that a whole year has gone by already. My family and I have celebrated many little cancerversaries. Three months post chemo, six months, 10 months. Hair re-growth. Being able to exercise with the most awesome fitness instructor ever- Cathe Friedrich. Being able to eat normally again without everything tasting like a salt mine. Losing 20 pounds. Being there for my Peeps' birthdays. Walking in the Relay for Life with one of my sisters.<br />
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Tomorrow is a big day in the life of Survivor. I'm having my <a href="http://www.cancer.net/patient/All+About+Cancer/Cancer.Net+Feature+Articles/Treatments%2C+Tests%2C+and+Procedures/Catheters+and+Ports+in+Cancer+Treatment">port a cath removed</a>. I'll be glad to get it out of my body so I can comfortably sleep on my right side and the sweet smelling heads of my Peeps can snuggle up with me without causing pain at the same time.<br />
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This is a big deal because it means that my gynecologic oncologist believes that I'm deep enough into Remission that I no longer need it. While I completely understand that there are no guarantees this minor surgery feels like hope solidifying. My thankfulness continues to grow.<br />
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As thankful and relieved as I am to be adding to my days in Remission, my heart goes out to my friends who are continuing to fight or have begun their second or third fight. My sweet friend, and fellow Cathlete, Virginia especially would benefit from you prayers and positive energy.<br />
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Post surgery update to come in a day or so...<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-57986769187648091772011-09-15T11:36:00.001-05:002011-09-15T11:36:45.306-05:001 Year Chemo- Free Cancerversary<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Today is a special cancerversary for me. A year ago today, at exactly this time, I was getting my final chemo treatment. I was completely bald, and at the point having great pain in the bones of my legs, my feet were numb most of the time, I was very tired and very weak. Still, I was thankful that I had a loving family, especially my Mom who is the best Caregiver in the universe!!, a God who comforts, heals and loves me, sisters who made me feel confident in my beauty to be out in public completely bald and who kept me laughing, for my Peeps who showered me with their love and support in their own special and innocent toddler ways, new and old friends who cheered me on from near and far, and for the precious gift of life even though I was sick. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Here's a look back at my very first post when I looked like a ghost. (That's right, I'm a poet too. ha!)</span><br />
<a href="http://cancerasmycatalyst.blogspot.com/2010_10_17_archive.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">http://cancerasmycatalyst.blogspot.com/2010_10_17_archive.html</span></a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">A year later and I've been in remission just over 10 months. I have a full head of very curly and darker brown hair. I still get tired sometimes, but it's happening much less often. I'm thankful for the energy level I have now, because I still clearly remember what it feels like to not have any energy. I'm still thankful for all the blessings in my life, and I'm grateful that over the last year that list has grown. I'm thankful to own my own business though I work hard and long hours, I get to choose the days and times I work. Sometimes I even get to work in my PJs! I also get to choose who I work with and when, and I have the opportunity to be Leader and invest my energy into motivating other people to dream big and create wealth for themselves. I'm thankful to my body for amazing me as I completed Cathe's Shock Training System. I'm thankful that I get to spend a day a week with 2 of my Peeps, and help my sister. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">I find myself with lots of tears today. Tears of joy. Some from the painful memories of chemo. Some for the people I know that won't get to celebrate a year free from chemo, or cancer. Some tears of guilt and confusion.Some of overwhelming thankfulness. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">And some of frustration with my body. About 3 weeks ago I had my first ever sciatica flare/issue/pain. For about a week it was excruciating to stand or walk, or do just about anything else. Slowly, my body is healing thanks to 2 reflexology treatments and Young Living's essential oils. I haven't been able to work out, and it's extremely frustrating. Cathletes NEED their daily sweat and burn fix!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Truth is that this sciatica issue, in my left leg, reminds me all too much of the pains of chemo. Instead of the crushing bone feeling, though, I have a burning cord feeling down the back of my leg. My left heel is partially numb. So even though I've come sooooooooooo far in a year, at this moment I'm not feeling it. There's a little voice in the back of head what's wondering if I'll ever be able to work out with Cathe Friedrich's DVDs again. Will I ever walk 100% normally? Will this numbness melt away? These are questions I was asking myself a year ago. It never occurred to me that I'd ask them again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> I'm healing and I'm believing that I will walk normally again and have normal healthy body again. It happened once, right? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Happy cancerversary to me! Here's to more cancerversaries to Fighters and Survivors everywhere!! </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.cafepress.com/+fighters_survivors_taken_1_oc_white_tshirt,255977068">http://www.cafepress.com/+fighters_survivors_taken_1_oc_white_tshirt,255977068</a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-63987557125428439172011-09-11T23:02:00.000-05:002011-09-11T23:02:18.358-05:00Overdue Results, as promisedI've been a proud Cathlete for last 12 years. My final chemo treatment- for my second round of gynecologic cancer in 2 years- was September 15 in 2010. Seven months later on April 11 I had recovered enough to start on a fitness journey that I had been longing to go on for years. Cathe Friedrich's STS, or <a href="http://cathe.com/sts/">Shock Training Program</a>. Initially, it was 14 week, or 3 1/2 month, commitment. It became a 17 week process for me due to some travelling. It's a 3 stage strength training program- endurance, hypertrophy, and strength. It was an amazing and surprising journey!!<br />
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When I started my body was quite weak, but my Spirit was- and still is!- strong and enduring. I choose this program because I wanted stronger muscles, and I wanted to earn back the (self) title of 'Cathlete'. During my second cancer's treatment I wasn't able to exercise very often and I missed it deeply. I wanted to follow a strength training program to combat the damage that chemo and radiation treatment did to my bones. <a href="http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/article.show/id/2/article_id/1587">Did you know that chemo often leads to bone loss?</a> STS was the perfect fit for my goal. <br />
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I'm also on a weight loss journey, but I felt like gaining muscle and feeling my physical strength grow was more important than focusing on shedding pounds. Cathe helped me lose 75 pounds 8 years ago, and 20 more pounds in the last year. I have 50 more pounds that I'm in the process of losing, and I have no doubt that I will reach that goal thanks to Cathe's ultra effective DVDs and very helpful articles about living healthy.<br />
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Back to the STS results... I actually have noticeable tricep and bicep muscles!! This totally thrills me!! When I started STS the heaviest bicep curl I could do was 16 pounds. The heaviest week of STS I was curling 45.2 pounds. Crazy awesome!! When I started STS I could only do push- ups from the easiest knee position, and after STS I can do 6 full reps from my toes!! Astounding!! When I started STS the most I could chest press was 14 pounds, and during the heaviest week of STS I was benching 60 pounds! Totally amazing!!<br />
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The endurance and strength that my legs built up is the most incredible to me, but harder to measure because I substituted other Cathe leg DVDs for the Meso cycle 3. Meso cycle 3 is mostly plyo moves and my kness can't handle that kind of impact since chemo. When I first started with STS I couldn't hold any weight in my hands during any of the paper plate lunges, and I had to modify the depth of the move. At the end of STS, I could do the full Pyramid Lower Body lunges using 16, 22 and 30 pounds. That's the best comparison I can put together. When I started STS the heaviest weight I could squat with was 25 pounds, and at the end of STS I could do the full PLB squats using 30, 35 and 45 pounds.<br />
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I've never ever been this strong, and I absolutely love it!!! I recently had a bone density test as a post-cancer treatment follow up, and I'm very grateful to say that my bone density is completely normal!<br />
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Thank you, Cathe, from the bottom of my heart, for creating such an awesome strength building program. It gave me something to look forward to during treatment, and helped me create the strongest body and mind I've ever had in my life. I know I'll reach my weight loss goals by continuing to follow your lead.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-16760916624413372022011-09-06T22:20:00.001-05:002011-09-06T22:20:37.432-05:00Sarah's Thoughts behind the Art, a special guest post<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #330033;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Please welcome my dear friend, Sarah, who graciously wrote a Guest Post about her beautiful and meaningful artwork.... </span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #330033; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There was a lot that inspired me to draw this picture. Originally, when I sat down with my sketch pad I intended to draw some sort of general "cancer support" something or other. So I started thinking about all of the people in my life that have battled cancer. Some have fought and won. Others have fought and lost. As I sat there thinking about all these people and trying to decide on what to draw, I received a text from my dear friend Connie. In that instant I knew it was a sign. I was suppose to create this for her. She is a cancer survivor. She is an amazingly kind, generous and all around awesome human being. Connie has done so many wonderful things for me. I knew at that moment this was suppose to be a gift to her to say "Thank you for being you and being my friend."</span></i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am touched and honored by Sarah's drawing of me. Seeing myself drawn thin is really cool, and is helping me be able to see it actually happening. It's a much appreciated bonus. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sarah has drawn me as a strong athlete. This resonates in me because that's how I think and dream of myself, even though my body now doesn't reflect it. I know that all these Cathe Friedrich workouts are transforming my body day by day. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The color selections in Sarah's piece are packed with special meanings. Purple for all cancer Survivors, and happens to be my favorite color. The upside down placement of the purple ribbons signifies a Survivor. I just learned that last month at an Ovarian cancer Survivor support group. So if you're a Survivor and wear a ribbon flip upside down! </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Peach tank top signifying my first cancer win over endometrial, otherwise known as uterine. That first cancer was subtle- much like the color. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Teal ribbon is appropriately wrapped around my lower body like a shield. I like that it's big and bold, because Ovarian cancer came into my life big and bold. It also changed my life in positive big and bold ways. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sarah even took great care in coloring my eyes green, and drawing my hair into crazy curls. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I truly love this drawing, and I'm deeply grateful for Sarah's friendship and artistic talents. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-69930978502351357752011-08-30T22:17:00.000-05:002011-08-30T22:17:01.514-05:00Starting Again. Again.Where to start? I have so much to share with my dear Readers, but haven't the time. Same ol' story, I know.<br />
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I'm working on refreshing this blog and bringing it back. Again. Please look on the right side of the screen... My dear friend Sarah drew this piece of me in celebration of Remission. She'll be writing a Guest Post about her inspiration for this beautiful piece soon!<br />
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I'm 18 days away from a full year since chemo treatments. I can't believe it's been a year!! I've glossed over many cancerversaries the past several weeks. Though they each have deep meaning to me, my focus has been elsewhere. I think that's a good sign. I've focused mostly on my business, but also on finishing Cathe Friedrich's Shock Training System (STS) and releasing negative emotions through Young Living essential oils and writing in my journal.<br />
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Remission is beautiful and full. I thank God every single day for this amazing life, even on the days when I'm not feeling particularly grateful because human life is sometimes challenging. Those are the times when it's most important to have a grateful heart.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-42631459493219363462011-08-05T13:42:00.000-05:002011-08-05T13:42:57.557-05:00Cleaning it Up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think it's time to shake up the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> blog a bit. My posts have been pretty heavy lately. Life isn't so serious. I make time for fun and yummies, too. In fact laughter and clean healthy whole foods are great for healing processes. But you already knew that, right? </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Last Sunday I took inventory of my freezer and pantry then sat down with my Clean Eating, Oxygen and Eating Well magazines and came up with a plan. I need quick dishes that are rich in protein and veggies because life is wonderfully full but I still want to eat healthy. I like lots of nutritional bang from the time I put into the kitchen.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I made the following 3 recipes in about 2 hours. Seriously, just 2 little hours. You have 2 hours to devote to eating healthier, don't you? </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wnzLuH9CLpI/TjwzF8oOHjI/AAAAAAAACJ0/vlQK39aAQyU/s1600/2011-07-31+13.12.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wnzLuH9CLpI/TjwzF8oOHjI/AAAAAAAACJ0/vlQK39aAQyU/s320/2011-07-31+13.12.18.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Burger Mix (from Oxygen's Collector's Issue Summer 2005) (I quad'ed the org recipe for the week)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 16oz extra lean ground beef (I use grass fed)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2 cups brown rice (already had it cooked and frozen so it was super easy)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1 c chopped onion</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">15 oz can of no salt added diced tomatoes</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I added a little big of Greek seasoning and ketchip too. Yum! </span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My mom wanted me to try replicate a Garbanzo bean Salad she had at catered event last week.</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2 cans organic Garbanzo beans</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/4 c unsweetened dried cherries</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1 big can of artichoke hearts</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/2 red onion, diced</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/2 bunch of parsley, chopped</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1 clove of garlic </span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">4 oz goat cheese</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/3 c chopped walnuts</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then I whisked together organic oilive oil and organic apple cider vinegar to hold it together. Mom said I nailed it! Woot!! </span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UxMB0vBfPHg/TjwzOQwpo8I/AAAAAAAACJ4/nyFg3AM4D9g/s1600/2011-07-31+14.00.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UxMB0vBfPHg/TjwzOQwpo8I/AAAAAAAACJ4/nyFg3AM4D9g/s320/2011-07-31+14.00.17.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The last thing I 'cooked' today came from Eating Well's June 2010 issue:</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Broccoli, Ham and Pasta Salad</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">6 ounces of dry whole wheat noodles</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">4 cups broccoli (I steamed a bag of frozen, because raw brocc doesn't work well at my house)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">6 ounces nitrate free ham and turkey lunch meat (instead of diced ham)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">large red pepper, diced</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/3 c red onion, finely diced</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/3 c raisins</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Creamy Herb Dressing</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/2 c low fat mayo</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/3 c nonfat plain yogurt (I used Greek, and therefore could have easily halved or eliminated the mayo)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/4 c lowfat sour cream</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3 T rice vinegar (could sub white wine vin)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1 T Dijon mustard</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1 T honey</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/2 T dried chives (or fresh)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1.5 tsp tarragon or dillweed</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1/2 tsp onion and/or celery salt (I just used onion powder)</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">white pepper to taste</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mix it all up! </span></div><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've got a little of the Burger Mix and Garbanzo Bean salad left to get me through the weekend. Which reminds me, I'll need to make a plan for next week soon. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What's your clean eating plan for next week?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I finished Cathe Friedrich's STS (Shock Training System) yesterday. I'm so proud of myself! I made fantastic strength gains on a few different levels, but that's the next post. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Don't miss it!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961909056008970270.post-83174004937638004842011-08-02T01:24:00.000-05:002011-08-02T01:24:53.647-05:00Releasing & HealingDuring the Wings Cancer Foundation's gynecologic Survivor's Retreat two Saturdays ago, I realized that I have more healing to embrace. This next phase of healing is emotional and mental, and so far I think it's harder than the physical. I've held onto negative thoughts concerning blame and the question of 'Why me?' long enough. I'll never know the answers, because there isn't one and they don't really matter anyway.<div><i><br />
</i></div><div><i>That</i> cancer happened to me isn't important anymore. What IS important is what I create and gain from the experience. Cancer has been a catalyst to many wonderful new experiences and relationships, and it's perfectly okay to just accept those positives without supplementing any negatives. <div><br />
</div><div>I'm also ready to let go of the guilt I've been feeling over 'getting' cancer twice in 2 years. I've blamed my abusive childhood. I've blamed my father. I've blamed myself for being overweight. I've blamed emotional eating and lack of willpower. I've blamed <a href="http://www.womentowomen.com/menopause/estrogendominance.aspx">hormone interrupting</a> plastics and chemicals that surround us. </div><div><br />
</div><div>All that blaming hasn't gotten me anywhere good, though. My counselor gently asked me if it truly is important to assign blame. Up until this phase of healing it felt moderately important to me, but now that importance is fading. It feels like a new dawning.... </div><div><br />
</div><div>I'm using 3 tools to help me release the blame and guilt:</div><div>1. <a href="http://www.healingfeelings.com/healing-catalog/home.php?cat=257">Feelings Buried Alive Never Die</a> by Karol Truman</div><div>2. Writing in my new journal using the book Wings Foundation gave me at the Retreat <a href="http://www.soulfulliving.com/scribingthesoul.htm">Scribing the Soul</a> by Kathleen Adams</div><div>3. Young Living's <a href="http://bit.ly/ntyxwK">Essential Oils</a> </div><div><br />
</div><div>I'll be sharing details about each of these tools in upcoming posts. They all involve replacing negative energy (thoughts of blame and guilt) with positive energy (gratitude and Truth). I want to welcome all the positive Energy into my life as possible!!</div><div><br />
</div><div>Many thanks to Wings Cancer Foundation for the continued support as I heal..... </div><div><br />
</div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">If you're a Survivor who has been through the emotional healing process, please consider sharing a bit of that journey with me and my readers in a comment. </span></i></div><div><br />
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</div></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05277485012971065839noreply@blogger.com2