I'm feeling a bit anxious about the CT scan tomorrow. I've been using a couple different techniques to deal with the anxiety. My mentor and dear friend, Curt (who has 30 years of counseling experience) taught me the value and power in replacing my negative thoughts with positive thoughts. So when my mind thinks about how extremely unlikely any cancer recurrence should have been for me I consciously stop that thought, and I choose to think about how I did during my most recent Cathe workout or I work up a vivid mental picture of the powerful chemo drugs and radiation killing off any 'loose' cancer cells in my body.
I've also been meditating and praying before I get out of bed each morning. I am thankful to have to a very flexible schedule right now that allows me to meditate for 30 minutes and exercise when I want to right now. Meditating and exercising are major parts of my healing and recovery process, and I deeply appreciate the gift of time to focus recovering and healing.
My Cathe workouts have played a big role in stress reduction over the past 7 years. I love how Cathe challenges and encourages me through each of her workouts! Lately, I've been focusing on circuit workouts. I love how I can push myself a little harder in the cardio segments when I know a cardio break is coming soon in circuit workouts. Then I get to lift weights in the next segment. I totally love lifting weights! Over the past 2 months I've worked up to being able to do a few Cathe workouts all the way through without using premixes (many of Cathe's workouts come with condensed version of the workout to save on time or focus on cardio over weights etc). I still have to modify the intensity and/or impact. I'm very proud of myself!! Today I did a circuit workout called Cardio & Weights- the whole 60 minutes! My feet are tired out and a bit achey tonight, but it's definitely worth it! I burned off some stress and calories, and created some very good feelings about myself. That's a good trade off in my book.
I came across an inspiring article at CureToday.com titled New exercise guidelines for cancer survivors. Since my cancer history is gynecological I liked the article even more!! I would have loved to have clear guidelines to have followed during my treatment as well as post treatment. This article helped push me to get back to regular exercise, and I'm very grateful!
Tomorrow is the 'big' day, but I doubt if I will get the full results from the CT scan right away. More waiting which means more exercising, meditating and thought shifting for me, but I know without a doubt I won't be alone. My family and friends are great supporters and caregivers with strong shoulders. I couldn't be more thankful for each and every one! Despite a bit of understandable anxiety, I truly believe that this scan will prove to me that my body is free of cancer and is healing well. I'm looking forward to hearing my oncologist tell me that I'm cured, or in remission, or whatever label she will use. I already know that I'm a Survivor!
My next entry will be about the amazingly wonderful spa night for cancer Survivors and Fighters that I got to attend on Monday night...