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2 time ovarian cancer Survivor, Advocate for ovarian cancer awareness & research, Teacher of Zen Method Tai Chi, Blogger, sharing the wonderment and power of essential oils, proud fan of Cathe Friedrich's workouts, Reiki practitoner, A Course in Miracles student, paper crafter

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Surrounded by Awesome with a Twist of Romance

I have been surrounded by awesomeness this Tuesday!! It began with passing a state exam. Whoohooo!! After sharing the exciting news with family and friends over the phone and Facebook I went shopping at Target. I found a great deal on a Dremel-like tool that I've needed for awhile, and I found a pair of capris on clearance that fit me beautifully in a new smaller size

Awesomeness x 3!

While I was shopping something happened to me that hasn't happened in an extremely long time. A good-looking man flirted with me and asked me out on a date. Actually, I'm pretty sure that this has NEVER happened to me. He's a Target employee so he started off the conversation by asking if he could help me with anything. I told him that I found what I needed, and held up the Gorilla tape. He asked what I was using it for and I told him. Then he asked if my husband was going to be helping me. I chuckled and said no, and did the same when he asked about a boyfriend. He seemed really surprised that I didn't have a boyfriend. Honestly at this point I felt like he was making fun of me. Isn't that pathetic? This guy is going out on a limb and sweetly flirting with a complete stranger and in my head I'm questioning WHY he would want to talk to me.  

He asked if I had kids, and again no. He was really confused now. It was sweet and funny. He introduced himself and asked my name. I told him my first name and shook his hand. He told me that I was beautiful and he couldn't believe I was single because I was 'hot'. He actually used the words 'beautiful' and 'hot' to describe me! I know I'm beautiful, but I think of myself more as a beautiful soul than a beautiful woman. I never think of myself as 'hot'. I was embarrassed, self conscious and uncomfortable at this point. He asked if he could have my number and if he could take me out. I laughed nervously, thanked him as sweetly as I could, but declined the offers. 

Still, it was a totally awesome experience

I'm 95% sure I don't want to date anymore. I definitely do not feel comfortable or safe dating a total stranger. Every now and then I daydream about going out with a man just for fun- to see a movie together or take a walk through a park, or have a conversation over a tasty meal... Then I remember all the pain that I caused myself and my ex-boyfriend the last time I got this desire for romance. I never want to cause that kind of pain to anyone ever again- myself included.

Then there's the whole 'I'm a cancer Survivor' issue and most men, I'd bet, wouldn't want to date a lady with that kind of medical history. I wouldn't blame him, honestly, because it's a lot of baggage. Disagree? Tell me why, leave a comment. 

Perhaps the biggest reason for not wanting to date is that my heart still belongs to a Marine who is proudly serving overseas. We were together without being actually together because of his service for 10 years. I'm over-simplifying in a huge way here. I moved for Florida in 2007 and started my life on a new path while he continued to serve. We still love each other, but just couldn't keep it together while being apart. Since I've moved back to Memphis he's sent me flowers for special occasions and always includes a sweet poetic note. 

Today he sent me these awesome gifts to celebrate being home for year and my increasing strength!!


 I'm extremely grateful, dear Marine. It's been very challenging to lift my loaded barbel up off the floor! And I can't wait to experiment with all the different chin-up and pull-up positions! 

What an incredibly awesome surprise!! I am beyond thrilled and excited!!

Wondering about the Yoga DVD? A few years ago I got a DVD with these 2 Yoga sessions (using the word 'workout' to describe this type of Yoga just doesn't fit to me) plus one for stress relief as a gift. My former roommate and very dear friend bonded with this DVD, and so I let him keep it when I moved home last year. I have missed it a lot, but have bought other Rodney Yee Yoga DVDs in an attempt to find a new favorite. It just hasn't happened though. The Marine kindly remembers how much I adored this AM Yoga session and somehow instinctively knew I needed it in my life again. I was so excited to have my very favorite Yoga sessions that I did the PM session tonight while at my sister's. My body and soul are thanking me. I'm very much looking forward to AM Yoga on Friday, which will be the first chance I'll have this week. 

What an amazingly awesome filled Tuesday!! 

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