Awkward Anniversary

Yesterday marked the 2 year anniversary of my final chemo treatment. Which is wonderful. And kind of awkward. Yes, I had cancer twice. Yes, I consider myself a Survivor. I was a whole person with dreams, problems and a life before I had either cancers. Then for about 3 years I was a cancer patient. And now I'm an upgraded model of myself post cancer. Different dreams, different problems and a whole different beautiful life.

Cancer doesn't define me. It's a chapter in my life's story that has led me to now. Now is very good and I'm quite grateful for all the people, experiences and places that envelope my life.

I'm emerging from the cocoon of individual Survivor into a butterfly of advocacy for ovarian cancer awareness and research. Yes, I'm still a Survivor and always will be. Yet I want to let go of my ultra-personal relationship to cancer. Let go of daily thoughts and memories of it. Release the addiction I sometimes feel to my cancer story. I want to let go the story of who I was and what happened to me so I can open myself to the possibilities in the NOW.  It happened therefore I'm a Survivor and now I'm also an advocate...

I'm also a sister, a daughter, an Aunt, a friend, an educator, a car dancer, a runner, a Course in Miracles student, a blogger, an essential oils lover, a scrapbooker, a dreamer, and a believer in Love and God. Cancer does not define me. Cancer isn't what makes me interesting or special. It happened to me, I got treatment, I'm better now. I'm deeply grateful for the experience of cancer, and will apply what I learned from those experiences with me as I move forward with my life.

All of that is true, but then how shall I deal with these cancer anniversaries that tick in my head? This day I chose to celebrate by going to a Couch 2 5K graduation for my Teal Sister Deb and advocating to raise awareness of ovarian cancer and the upcoming Teal for a Cure 5K to the hundreds of women at the event. Then I went to my Yoga class which felt really wonderful. I spent the afternoon doing more advocacy work from bed in my comfy clothes. Then I ate a healthy dinner with a treasured friend, saw a second run movie and had an amazing discussion about Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love after reading 2 chapters out loud to each other.

I celebrated by living my life, by making a point to enjoy it a bit more today.

Ringing the Bell at West Clinic 9/16/2010 to celebrate completing chemo