That cancer happened to me isn't important anymore. What IS important is what I create and gain from the experience. Cancer has been a catalyst to many wonderful new experiences and relationships, and it's perfectly okay to just accept those positives without supplementing any negatives.
I'm also ready to let go of the guilt I've been feeling over 'getting' cancer twice in 2 years. I've blamed my abusive childhood. I've blamed my father. I've blamed myself for being overweight. I've blamed emotional eating and lack of willpower. I've blamed hormone interrupting plastics and chemicals that surround us.
All that blaming hasn't gotten me anywhere good, though. My counselor gently asked me if it truly is important to assign blame. Up until this phase of healing it felt moderately important to me, but now that importance is fading. It feels like a new dawning....
I'm using 3 tools to help me release the blame and guilt:
1. Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman
2. Writing in my new journal using the book Wings Foundation gave me at the Retreat Scribing the Soul by Kathleen Adams
3. Young Living's Essential Oils
I'll be sharing details about each of these tools in upcoming posts. They all involve replacing negative energy (thoughts of blame and guilt) with positive energy (gratitude and Truth). I want to welcome all the positive Energy into my life as possible!!
Many thanks to Wings Cancer Foundation for the continued support as I heal.....
If you're a Survivor who has been through the emotional healing process, please consider sharing a bit of that journey with me and my readers in a comment.
I have had cancer for over 2 years now, and even though it's not yet over, I have gone through some periods of healing. I struggle with it. I can see the positives but I am not able to get past my anger most days. It's really an ongoing proccess. I suppose it might get a bit easier to let it go when it's truly gone.
ReplyDeleteHippofatamus~ Thank you for commenting, and sharing your feelings. Perhaps Karol Truman's book or website would be helpful for you to process and eventually release your feelings of anger. It's a rough and messy process, but there is Light to guide you through the healing phases. Are there counseling resources available to you through your cancer clinic? I fought talking to a counselor for over a year, so I understand that healing takes time especially since you're still undergoing treatment. I send you Love, Light, healing and comfort dear Survivor Sister. Fight hard!!
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