Surrounded by Awesome with a Twist of Romance

I have been surrounded by awesomeness this Tuesday!! It began with passing a state exam. Whoohooo!! After sharing the exciting news with family and friends over the phone and Facebook I went shopping at Target. I found a great deal on a Dremel-like tool that I've needed for awhile, and I found a pair of capris on clearance that fit me beautifully in a new smaller size. 

Awesomeness x 3!

While I was shopping something happened to me that hasn't happened in an extremely long time. A good-looking man flirted with me and asked me out on a date. Actually, I'm pretty sure that this has NEVER happened to me. He's a Target employee so he started off the conversation by asking if he could help me with anything. I told him that I found what I needed, and held up the Gorilla tape. He asked what I was using it for and I told him. Then he asked if my husband was going to be helping me. I chuckled and said no, and did the same when he asked about a boyfriend. He seemed really surprised that I didn't have a boyfriend. Honestly at this point I felt like he was making fun of me. Isn't that pathetic? This guy is going out on a limb and sweetly flirting with a complete stranger and in my head I'm questioning WHY he would want to talk to me.  

He asked if I had kids, and again no. He was really confused now. It was sweet and funny. He introduced himself and asked my name. I told him my first name and shook his hand. He told me that I was beautiful and he couldn't believe I was single because I was 'hot'. He actually used the words 'beautiful' and 'hot' to describe me! I know I'm beautiful, but I think of myself more as a beautiful soul than a beautiful woman. I never think of myself as 'hot'. I was embarrassed, self conscious and uncomfortable at this point. He asked if he could have my number and if he could take me out. I laughed nervously, thanked him as sweetly as I could, but declined the offers. 

Still, it was a totally awesome experience! 

I'm 95% sure I don't want to date anymore. I definitely do not feel comfortable or safe dating a total stranger. Every now and then I daydream about going out with a man just for fun- to see a movie together or take a walk through a park, or have a conversation over a tasty meal... Then I remember all the pain that I caused myself and my ex-boyfriend the last time I got this desire for romance. I never want to cause that kind of pain to anyone ever again- myself included.

Then there's the whole 'I'm a cancer Survivor' issue and most men, I'd bet, wouldn't want to date a lady with that kind of medical history. I wouldn't blame him, honestly, because it's a lot of baggage. Disagree? Tell me why, leave a comment. 

Perhaps the biggest reason for not wanting to date is that my heart still belongs to a Marine who is proudly serving overseas. We were together without being actually together because of his service for 10 years. I'm over-simplifying in a huge way here. I moved for Florida in 2007 and started my life on a new path while he continued to serve. We still love each other, but just couldn't keep it together while being apart. Since I've moved back to Memphis he's sent me flowers for special occasions and always includes a sweet poetic note. 

Today he sent me these awesome gifts to celebrate being home for year and my increasing strength!!

AWESOMENESS X 2!!

 I'm extremely grateful, dear Marine. It's been very challenging to lift my loaded barbel up off the floor! And I can't wait to experiment with all the different chin-up and pull-up positions! 

What an incredibly awesome surprise!! I am beyond thrilled and excited!!

Wondering about the Yoga DVD? A few years ago I got a DVD with these 2 Yoga sessions (using the word 'workout' to describe this type of Yoga just doesn't fit to me) plus one for stress relief as a gift. My former roommate and very dear friend bonded with this DVD, and so I let him keep it when I moved home last year. I have missed it a lot, but have bought other Rodney Yee Yoga DVDs in an attempt to find a new favorite. It just hasn't happened though. The Marine kindly remembers how much I adored this AM Yoga session and somehow instinctively knew I needed it in my life again. I was so excited to have my very favorite Yoga sessions that I did the PM session tonight while at my sister's. My body and soul are thanking me. I'm very much looking forward to AM Yoga on Friday, which will be the first chance I'll have this week. 

What an amazingly awesome filled Tuesday!! 

Good Weekend/Not So Good Weekend

Not So Good~ Friday night's cheat meal of take out pizza after a long day and little sleep Thursday night turned into a cheat meal weekend. This is the problem, for me, with cheat meals. It starts an unclean cycle. I don't even like pizza very much! Yes, I know it's weird not to just love pizza.

Another Not So Good~ Saturday morning I was up early to help my sister with a yard sale. Crazy early- 6:30. Well, it's crazy early to me on a Saturday (or any day, really). I'm not a big fan of coffee (yes, again, I know that's weird), but I filled up a cup pretty quick. Now I could have easily fixed myself a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, but my mom was bringing donuts so I decided to wait to eat. I, foolishly, let myself think that I deserved to eat a donut for breakfast since I was up so early and it was so chilly outside. A donut is not a reward! It's a junky processed food, remember? The donut didn't even taste very good. *sigh*

Really Good~ The town my sister lives in was having their city wide yard sale, and I had an agenda. I needed a barbel set. Yes, needed is the correct word. Monday (today) was the start of Cathe Friedrich's STS Meso Cycle 2- Hypertrophy.  I'm lifting 70% of my 1 rep maximum for this meso cycle and the weight load is surprisingly heavy to me. So, yes, I really needed a barbel. Brand new shiny barbels are expensive, though so I took this city wide yard sale opportunity to hunt down a used one. I hit the jackpot in the first 20 minutes. I was meant to have this barbel, I tell ya!!

I got an Olympic Curved weight bar, 4 8.8 pound plates, 2 25 pound plates, and 2 4.4 pound plates. That's 94 pounds of weight!! I scored all of this for $7. Yes, only 7 bucks!! I was so excited about it that I rushed off so quickly to share with my sister that I didn't realize that the nice man I bought them from didn't actually load them INTO the car, he had just carried them down the hill and placed them NEXT to the car. Opps!! Silly, excited me! Of course, I went back to get them and I shared an embarrassed laugh with the guy. 

More Good~ Thanks to this awesome yard sale score I had to rearrange my bedroom a bit. I just love rearranging furniture! It gives the room such freshness and a renewed energy. I absolutely love the improved arrangement and all my weights now have their own special spot. 

My heaviest dumbbells get tucked under the desk that's acting as a TV stand and storage center for little stuff, because they don't fit on my dumbbell rack.

The rack (ranging from 15s to 3s) stays in the corner, and is joined by my High Step, thumb weights and my band. The Yoga blocks keep the closet door from banging into the metal weighs. Those little green dumbbells are 2 pounders, and are too small to fit onto the rack. Aren't they cute?

The stability ball now lives in the closet. Closet re-arranging is another day, though.

All I need now is a Altus Turbo Tower so I can pick up, lift and put down heavy weight. I'm saving my pennies........

More Not So Good~ Though I had a fairly clean late lunch of homemade veggie soup and curried chicken with apple wrap I was ravenous by the time my family and I left Mass Saturday afternoon. My mom decided on Steak and Shake since we could sit down with my baby nephew and toddler niece, but it wasn't expensive. I just can't order a salad at a burger place. I love burgers and fries, though I eat them MUCH less than I did a year ago. I ordered 3 sliders. I ate 1 as it came and the other two I combined to save the bread carbs. I made up for that bun with my niece's fries. At least we didn't order a milkshake to share as we've done in the past. Then we went to our favorite local cupcake store- Cupcake Cutie- so my niece could design her own birthday cupcake. I ate a freebie on the way home. It was divine. On Sunday my niece turn 3 and the birthday girl requested homemade waffles and bacon for breakfast with maple syrup. So, ummm yeah, it was really good. Lunch was a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips with a bottle of water inbetween parks. Dinner was okay, actually ate some veggies and lean protein. Dessert was another cupcake and coffee. I've got to improve my ability to eat clean, or at least clean-er, during these weekends! 

Really Good~ The day my niece, Kallie, was born 3 years ago I was living in Naples, Florida. I can vividly remember sitting on the floor in Big Lots and crying while talking to my sister, the new mommy, minutes after she delivered a healthy baby girl. I felt so awful not being there to share that precious day. This year is the first time I'm home for her birthday and I'm thankful that we could spend the whole day together. After waffles, my sister, Kallie and I went to 2 of the coolest parks in Memphis. She wasn't impressed with all the cool new stuff, though, she was quite content to swing on her tummy and go down the 'easy' slides. I did some swinging myself. I comfortably fit into a regular swing now, that was pretty cool. Swinging really is fun. Wheeeeeeee! After a little coaxing and encouraging Kallie climbed the 'big kids' rock wall. I was so thankful to be there with her to share that proud moment! Then we met a friend and her kids at Shelby Farms new Woodland Discovery Playground. It's the best playground I've ever been to or even heard about! Totally awesome, and the kids- of course- loved it!

Final really Good~ I lost 2 pounds last week. Yay!! Somehow these 2 pounds were the magical ones that made it comfortable to wear a pair of pants I haven't fit into since before radiation treatment. I wore those pants all day Sunday and just having them on helped remind me of how far I've come in the right directions. I also fit into a couple shirts that I haven't even tried on in over a year. So, unclean toddler birthday niece's weekend happen sometimes. I'm thankful to be here to share it with my family. Next weekend I'll make cleaner choices and have a plan. Clean weekends don't happen by accident!

Counting Down SINS

Five more days of my SINS challenge to go! It's hard to believe that it's been almost 60 days already! It's even harder to believe that my final chemo treatment was 7 months ago! I am so proud of the strength and stamina I've gained and the pounds I've lost. I've worked hard for this progress, and I'm happier, healthier and wealthier for it. Taking control of my health and body has been beyond rewarding and enlightening. I highly recommend it!

On the twelfth day of my SINS challenge I wrote this update and increased my weight loss goal up to 12 pounds. My original goal was to lose 7 pounds in these 60 days.

As of today I have EXCEEDED that goal!! WowWoWwOw!

 I've lost 12.8 pounds in 55 days. 

A grand total of 15 pounds since my final chemo last September! 

I feel wonderfully and thankfully alive! I have been inspired and motivated by the awesome bloggers I've met at SINS (especially Marsha and Adam!) and, more recently, on Twitter. The world of a Survivor can be scary and dark place at times, thank you all for adding Light and Love to my path of healing. 

Although the end of my 60 Day SINS challenge is just about over, the challenge to reach my goal weight, increase my strength, cardio stamina and bone density continues on. I've got 65 more pounds to burn off and heavier dumbbells to lift! Onward and downward with a Spirit of gratitude.... 

Still SINS, New STS

I know, I know~ I haven't blogged about SINS for weeks. I promise that I haven't forgotten about the challenges I gave myself and shared with the SINS community. I was doing so well that I even upped my weight loss challenge. I admit that I lost a bit of spark and focus on these challenges. Overall, I am eating and living healthier than ever though. I'm proud of my improvements and positive changes. And I now fit into a smaller size as a bonus. Yay!!

Update

1. Goal was to lose 12 pounds. I've lost 8.8 so far. Whoohooo!! I've got 13 days left. I'm confident and determined to lose at least 2 more pounds by April 23rd. 
2. Goal was to gain lean muscle. I have definitely accomplished this one! I've increased my weight load on nearly every exercise. Totally nifty!
3. Goal was to stay within the calorie range of 1550- 1800 and carb range of 164g- 195g. I've done well, but I know I can be more consistent. I'm recommitting as of now! 

I'm starting a new self-challenge that's in the same vein of SINS. Cathe Friedrich's Shock Training System (STS) starts Monday!! I am uber excited! When this amazing series came out in 2009 I couldn't afford it and wasn't physically ready for it. Then came cancer treatment #2, and my hopes for doing STS dropped. I pretty much decided to stop trying to find the means to do it. Then came Cathe's Cathlete Appreciation sale a couple weeks ago. I felt like I won the coupon lottery! I sold a few of Cathe DVDs that I don't use due to impact to help cover the cost, and that was a big success. Cathletes are THE best!!

I believe that STS is going to propel me into my lifetime highest level of fitness. It's going to strengthen more than my muscles. My bones, focus, and belief in myself will all grow stronger. I'm thankful for the opportunity and the challenge.

Random Thankful Thoughts

I've officially lost 5 pounds, despite taking a 10 day exercise and food journal hiatus. YAY!! It feels like a miracle because I haven't seen the written expression of the weight loss work. Mostly because I haven't worked all that hard. Intuitively I feel that it's time to get back to food journaling- tomorrow. Yes, definitely tomorrow. I got back onto the Cathe Friedrich train this afternoon with a killer upper body pyramid workout. My weight loss grace period (aka miracle) is about to run out, I can just feel it.

Thanks to chemo, my appetite is much smaller than it used to be and I'm sure that has played a major role in my semi-miracle weight loss. I'm thankful for this catalyst of cancer treatment even though it still feels foreign to me. It doesn't feel like me, but I'm appreciating this new characteristic more and more.

I'm going to open the door to the world of Tweeting this week. I'm still not really sure what is so interesting about Twitter, but I want to try to figure it out. I'm hoping that Tweeting my blog will help attract new readers.

I had to clean the hair out of the shower drain yesterday. Gross, but fun if you haven't had to do it in over 6 months. My hair is really growing back fast. It doesn't really do the mini-mohawk anymore. Side note: someone much cooler and younger than me informed that it's not a mini-mohawk it's a faux hawk. I prefer mini mohawk which tells you something about how cool and young I am.

I have enough hair now to justify using a hair towel again. I decided 2 days ago. I love my hair towel, but I have no idea why.

I had the great pleasure of spending time with special old friends and special new friends last weekend. I am loving my new life and career! I am thankful to have so many people cheering for me. I feel beyond blessed and loved. I pray that more people in the world feel this way. I do my best to express my love and appreciation for the people in my life. I know I can always do a little better, or a little more though.

I have my 6 month post-chemo check up in 2 weeks. It was supposed to be last week, but the roads were too icy to travel on especially after my trip to Texas. I'm not really nervous about it, it's more of an annoying reminder that I'm not allowed to put cancer completely behind me. Ever. The up-side is that it's motivation to eat, move and live to protect myself from another recurrence. I'm choosing to welcome this motivation as a positive and powerful force. It's a daily choice, and honestly it's not always an easy choice. I choose life and love!!

At this very moment, what are you thankful for? Post a comment, and let me know!

Countdown Part I

In 6 days I will be healthy enough to start losing weight again, according to my oncologist. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time! I’ve successfully lost weight in the past, so I know that planning and tracking work best for me. I love looking at charts, tracking my eats and exercise, and the numbers for each day. It gives me a sense of control and accomplishment, though I’ve learned that I can only control so much in weight loss, cancer treatment, and life.

This weight loss journey is different from ones in the past because this time I’m a cancer Survivor. My body has changed dramatically. Losing weight is not going to be easy right now and perhaps now isn’t the perfect time to dive in. I’ve debated putting it off until the end of November, or even January. The truth is that there is never a ‘perfect’ time to start losing weight. I have to start now, there’s an urgency inside me.

That urgency comes from a long held desire for stronger health and a stronger body. I want my body to be able to kill off any loose cancer cells that may be running around! So, those are going to be my main goals instead of focusing on the scale. Scales can be sneaky liars. I will use my tools of charts, food tracking, exercise DVDs, and water bottles to strengthen my health and kill cancer cells.. My favorite site to help me keep track of everything while providing motivation is SparkPeople. Also, I will use the eats guidelines from the book Anticancer: A New Way of Life by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber. That will be a powerful combination!!

This week I’ll be making plans, gathering recipes, designing a Cathe rotation, and updating my SparkPeople info so I’m armed and ready when Sunday rolls around!!

Share with me! Are you a Survivor who lost weight after treatment? Anyone who has lost weight, what’s your best piece of advice? What’s your favorite way to kill cancer cells?