Overdue Results, as promised

I've been a proud Cathlete for last 12 years. My final chemo treatment- for my second round of gynecologic cancer in 2 years- was September 15 in 2010. Seven months later on April 11 I had recovered enough to start on a fitness journey that I had been longing to go on for years. Cathe Friedrich's STS, or Shock Training Program. Initially, it was 14 week, or 3 1/2 month, commitment. It became a 17 week process for me due to some travelling. It's a 3 stage strength training program- endurance, hypertrophy, and strength. It was an amazing and surprising journey!!

When I started my body was quite weak, but my Spirit was- and still is!- strong and enduring. I choose this program because I wanted stronger muscles, and I wanted to earn back the (self) title of 'Cathlete'. During my second cancer's treatment I wasn't able to exercise very often and I missed it deeply. I wanted to follow a strength training program to combat the damage that chemo and radiation treatment did to my bones. Did you know that chemo often leads to bone loss? STS was the perfect fit for my goal.

I'm also on a weight loss journey, but I felt like gaining muscle and feeling my physical strength grow was more important than focusing on shedding pounds. Cathe helped me lose 75 pounds 8 years ago, and 20 more pounds in the last year. I have 50 more pounds that I'm in the process of losing, and I have no doubt that I will reach that goal thanks to Cathe's ultra effective DVDs and very helpful articles about living healthy.

Back to the STS results... I actually have noticeable tricep and bicep muscles!! This totally thrills me!! When I started STS the heaviest bicep curl I could do was 16 pounds. The heaviest week of STS I was curling 45.2 pounds. Crazy awesome!! When I started STS I could only do push- ups from the easiest knee position, and after STS I can do 6 full reps from my toes!! Astounding!! When I started STS the most I could chest press was 14 pounds, and during the heaviest week of STS I was benching 60 pounds! Totally amazing!!

The endurance and strength that my legs built up is the most incredible to me, but harder to measure because I substituted other Cathe leg DVDs for the Meso cycle 3. Meso cycle 3 is mostly plyo moves and my kness can't handle that kind of impact since chemo. When I first started with STS I couldn't hold any weight in my hands during any of the paper plate lunges, and I had to modify the depth of the move. At the end of STS, I could do the full Pyramid Lower Body lunges using 16, 22 and 30 pounds. That's the best comparison I can put together. When I started STS the heaviest weight I could squat with was 25 pounds, and at the end of STS I could do the full PLB squats using 30, 35 and 45 pounds.

I've never ever been this strong, and I absolutely love it!!! I recently had a bone density test as a post-cancer treatment follow up, and I'm very grateful to say that my bone density is completely normal!

Thank you, Cathe, from the bottom of my heart, for creating such an awesome strength building program. It gave me something to look forward to during treatment, and helped me create the strongest body and mind I've ever had in my life. I know I'll reach my weight loss goals by continuing to follow your lead.

Crossing CrossFit

CrossFit. 


The day after I first published this post fellow blogger, Memphian and cancer Survivor Chris published an awesome CrossFit post. I felt like his post should be included. What Exactly Is CrossFit by chris beat cancer  offers a successful Survivor doing CrossFit perspective. You have my total respect, Chris. 

If you've never heard of it, just don't know much about it, or if you need some fresh exercise ideas spend some time perusing CrossFit Exercises. Be warned- you could be there all day.

Amazing. Crazy. Ultra-challenging. Inspirational. Unfathomable at times. Awesome. And just a tad intimidating. Right?

I have a connection to CrossFit, if you can believe it. This past February through April I participated in an online bloggers body challenge hosted by Strong is the New Skinny bloggers Marsha and Adam. No, I didn't follow a paleo way of eating. No, I didn't do any CrossFitting. But I rubbed virtual elbows with some very cool paleo eating CrossFitters. Remember? It was inspiring.

Since I completed this challenge I've had a lingering curiosity about CrossFit and the paleo way of eating. It whispers to me, eggs me on. Taunts me. I felt pretty safe because I didn't think there were any CrossFit gyms (is that what they're called?) in Memphis. No, I didn't bother checking or searching. I just assumed, and you know how that goes. 

Then I went to my suburb's first farmer's market a couple Saturdays ago and found myself standing in front of a CrossFit gym. Then I found myself standing INSIDE said CrossFit gym. That's right- 

inside. 

CrossFit Bartlett played a very big role in bringing a farmer's market into the community, and I'm very grateful. So on the market's opening day the gym was offering a free look-see and workout. I was so excited when the lady at the snow cone booth told me about it! (Yes, I'm aware of the irony.) Beyond excited, really. Crazy excited, and giddy. I couldn't wait to go check it out!! 

So my mom and my sister's 3 toddlers and I went in. That's right- all of us. Thankfully, this gym is fairly kid friendly and had some toys. I'm pretty sure there wasn't any A/C though. It was really hot and humid that day. 

It didn't look like any gym I'd ever seen before, but it was the coolest gym I've ever seen. It was also the scariest and most mysterious gym I've ever seen. I wasn't dressed for any kind of workout and had on the wrong shoes, so I was going to just observe. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. 

The owner of the gym and one of the trainers talked with me for a few minutes. I found myself signing up for a free one on one introduction workout. One of the members- a very kind man- came over to me and explained how the gym worked. I appreciated that act of kindness very much!! I was pretty surprised (and disheartened) that none of them had even heard of Cathe Friedrich, though. 

I watched members perform exercises that I wouldn't think would be humanly possible. 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/crossfitbartlett/page8/

This is some version of a hybrid pull-up/core exercise. Seriously, I watched a guy jump up and grab the bar then pull his toes up to his fingers. My jaw was on the ground. I'm quite sure that I couldn't have even jumped up and held onto the bar. 

The longer I watched and took it all in, the more out of place and uncomfortable I felt. I felt weak and flabby-like an ugly scarred unpopular fat girl that didn't fit in. It was a bummer, because I had been looking forward to the CrossFit experience for quite awhile.

I had found out just a few days before this that I have an incisional hernia, and had been cautioned by my oncologist to wear a very stylish compression belt when I workout. It didn't seem logical that CrossFitting was to become a part of my life. Even more secretly, I wish it could be. 

I left before the exhibition workout started. The kids were antsy and it was really hot. I had to get out of there. I was ball of emotion, and was close tears. I can't do CrossFit workokuts, I knew it in my soul as I walked out the door. I felt very disappointed and frustrated with this body that has survived cancer twice. My oldest niece asked me why we were leaving, and I started crying when I told her the truth- Aunt Connie can't do this, honey. I hated having to tell her that truth. Since the end of chemo 10 months ago I've brought this body and mind a really long way (I thought), but being there made me feel like it wasn't good enough. I don't want to feel like I'm not good enough. 

I couldn't stop thinking about it, though. I had set an appointment, remember? I called my oncologist on Monday, asked the burning question and waited for a call back. My soul was right, I can't do CrossFit according to my oncologist. She thought it was pretty crazy to even consider it, actually. She's probably right, but I didn't like hearing it. 

I'm disappointing and frustrated about it, and a bit relieved too. I felt embarrassed writing the 'sorry I have to cancel my appointment' email to the owner and trainer, but they were both gracious and understanding. 

So, I came across CrossFit, and had to cross it out. 

Perhaps after I lose my extra weight and have the hernia repair surgery I'll be able to try it. I sure hope so. 

Are you a CrossFitter? How did you get into it? Share your experience with me! 

Surviving Rough Roads

Hey there, remember me? My blog has been pretty quiet lately. I've been writing and re-writing this post in my head for the past several days, but I kept chickening out. Since Easter Sunday I have allowed myself too many un-clean eats. I had planned on eating for fun and celebration ON Easter. The problem was that I didn't make a clean plan for Monday, or Tuesday or, well you get the idea.

One of my goals for this blog is to be honest about my life as a Survivor. There are times when I don't want live from a Survivor's perspective, though. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the moment. I want to get down on the floor with my toddler nieces and nephews and let them playfully and joyfully crawl on me and not worry about hurting my knees or anything else. I want to eat fast food and drink beer with my sister and just talk about random stuff without having to wonder if what I just ate and drank would be the start to a third recurrence.

This way of living- short or long term- isn't good for weight loss, of course. How will these food choices affect my weight loss?, has been the loudest question in my mind for years. Yes, I should think of this question before I eat. Yes, I should do this more often. It's something that I, an emotional eater, have been working on and improving for years.

However, the more potent and relevant question to myself should be- How will this food choice affect my risk of a third cancer recurrence? Asking myself this question before I eat something is critically important. Taking the focus off weight loss is also critically important, because losing weight is just one part of the preventing a third go-round. Yes, losing weight is important but it's not my ultimate goal. Losing weight is the wonderful side effect of clean plant based eating for me. If I thought, ate and planned from this greater perspective it would eliminate that pesky weight loss question mark. Crazy cool, huh?

Surviving cancer twice has been the catalyst to eating cleaner, yes, but also to exercising smarter, enjoying my family and friends in a deeper way, sharing this journey of Survivorship with honesty so that other Survivors and Prevent-ers may find inspiration, and finding peace with my food and body issues.

But how do I reconcile those days of unclean food choices once they are over? As I Survivor I wonder if that half a cheeseburger and cheese curds I shared with my mom and sister while on a mini-vacation last weekend will be the meal that starts that third recurrence on a cellular level. Living in fear isn't the answer, I realize, but for me an ounce of fear for another recurrence can sometimes act as a good motivator and reminder. It's difficult to find the balance between healthy fear, planning and everyday living for me as a Survivor.

Yesterday's gone and I can't go back. So, I'm moving forward with a refreshed attitude and approach, cravings satisfied, a few new fitness friends, and a clean eating plan. This Survivor's journey travels some rough roads at times, but I keep moving forward!

Counting Down SINS

Five more days of my SINS challenge to go! It's hard to believe that it's been almost 60 days already! It's even harder to believe that my final chemo treatment was 7 months ago! I am so proud of the strength and stamina I've gained and the pounds I've lost. I've worked hard for this progress, and I'm happier, healthier and wealthier for it. Taking control of my health and body has been beyond rewarding and enlightening. I highly recommend it!

On the twelfth day of my SINS challenge I wrote this update and increased my weight loss goal up to 12 pounds. My original goal was to lose 7 pounds in these 60 days.

As of today I have EXCEEDED that goal!! WowWoWwOw!

 I've lost 12.8 pounds in 55 days. 

A grand total of 15 pounds since my final chemo last September! 

I feel wonderfully and thankfully alive! I have been inspired and motivated by the awesome bloggers I've met at SINS (especially Marsha and Adam!) and, more recently, on Twitter. The world of a Survivor can be scary and dark place at times, thank you all for adding Light and Love to my path of healing. 

Although the end of my 60 Day SINS challenge is just about over, the challenge to reach my goal weight, increase my strength, cardio stamina and bone density continues on. I've got 65 more pounds to burn off and heavier dumbbells to lift! Onward and downward with a Spirit of gratitude.... 

Learning from my Meltdown

How do you picture your ideal daily routine? In my mind's eye I picture Yoga and meditation first thing in the morning followed by a healthy protein rich breakfast with freshly brewed organic green tea. Email, FB and Twitter connections. Then I productively work from home connecting with and helping clients in various ways or studying for a couple hours. Cathe Friedrich workout time. Shower, then a veggie rich lunch. Back to work for a few hours. Email, FB, Twitter, food tracking break. I prepare a protein and veggie rich dinner and enjoy sharing the happenings of the day with Mom and whoever else may join us. In the evenings I meet with clients; or spend time with my sisters, nieces and nephews; or chat with my friends online; or read; or meet with friends in person; or provide volunteer Reiki to cancer Fighters or Survivors or by request; or relax with my favorite TV shows and make a meal plan for the next day. Before I lay down to sleep I write inspirational, honest, and sometimes funny blog posts about the positive effects surviving cancer has brought to my life. Self- Reiki treatment lulls me into a beautifully relaxed state and I sleep deeply. 


This is the daily routine that I tried to force upon myself last week in the form of the Google calendar. I set up my whole week starting each morning at 7:30. That approach failed. I rebelled against my own creation. Crazy, I know, but it happened. It even led to a total emotional meltdown last Wednesday. I cried myself to sleep in bed in the middle of the afternoon. Other issues contributed, too, but I mostly melted down under the pressure I was putting on myself to be my version of perfect. Yes, I am perfectly aware that there's no such thing as perfect. I guess I forgot. I blame the chemo-brain. 


Since meltdown day I had been trying to figure out what was keeping me from this ideal routine I had dancing around in my head. It wasn't until this past Sunday when it all came together in my head. I have 3 major challenges to face:

1. My body still requires a lot of sleep. Although it's been 7 months since my final chemo treatment, my body is still healing and dealing with the side effects. One of those side effects is tiredness. I get worn out faster than before cancer treatments. My stamina is improving slowly, and I am very thankful for the progress. I want to give my body the time, space and grace that it needs to fully heal and that requires sleep. A part of me is embarrassed by it. A part of me is frustrated with this body. A part of me wants to ignore it and hope it goes away. My Spirit is wiser than my feelings, though. My Spirit knows that there's no time limit to this journey of healing, and that there's no shame in it either. I must accept it, and embrace it. I also have to take responsibility for it. That means getting into bed earlier so I can get 9-10 hours of sleep each night and wake up before 10am. (Please pay no attention to the time stamp of this post.) 
2. I spend too much time e-socializing. I recently fell in love with Twitter and like many early romances I allowed it- happily- to eat up my time. Even though Twitter and Facebook bring educational and other positive aspects to my life I have to control how much time I spend e-connecting. The time I've been spending online is better spent studying, working or sleeping. Yes, it does kind of suck. Being a responsible grown up just sucks sometimes. I'll suck it up. 
3. The third challenge I face is trying to change too many things about my routine-and, yes, myself- at one time. I think that's the biggest reason my Google calendar schedule failed last week. It felt overwhelming. It LOOKED overwhelming! I'm a Type A personality, and it just doesn't mesh well with chemo-brain or chemo related tiredness. I need a routine, but not a rigid hour by hour schedule. I need self-enforced boundaries that benefit me in a valuable way. I need and want to extend my body grace and gratitude it needs in order to continue to heal, strengthen, and improve.

I recognize that I can't create my ideal daily routine overnight. (Finally!) I do, however, have the ability to take a few graceful and purposeful baby steps. I will start going to bed- and to sleep- earlier. I will limit my e-socializing time to 2 blocks of 30 minutes during the day. I will use that newly 'found' time to study and build my professional life. I will give my body the gift of Yoga at least twice this week and the gift of self-Reiki at least 3 times this week. (I promise I will write something on my Reiki page very soon, too!)


Step by step and grace by grace I will create my ideal daily routine and ultimately the life of my dreams. I'm beginning to embrace the changes I need to make to create the productive and peaceful life I want for myself.  All things in moderation, right? 

Is there anything keeping YOU from the life of your dreams?

 What can you start doing today to move towards it? 

A PB but no J

I've got blogger's block tonight, but I'm going to attempt to type through it. My brain is cluttered and overwhelmed. I'm tired. The new schedule I created for myself has been about 25% successful this week. My biggest issue is getting to sleep early enough so that I can wake up earlier and with more energy. I wish I could blame cancer treatment for this issue, but it's one I've had for many years. I know it's something I have control over, because I've had success in the past. Semi-disgruntled success, but success is success. It's a process, and I'm making positive progress.

I am in tickled awe of all the new bloggers I've discovered on Twitter this week! Every Tuesday night at 8pm CST there a Twitter chat for bloggers who blog about some aspect of fitness using #fitblog. A friend told me about it a few weeks ago, but I didn't really understand it. I stumbled into the chat tonight. Honestly, I'm still not sure I understand it. I had a lovely time chatting anyway. Actually, I did more lurking than chatting because I was stretched out on the couch on a Driod phone. I don't get along well with on screen keyboards. I was too comfy to get up and grab the laptop that was 12 feet away. It's incredible how many inspirational blogs- and people!- there are out there in this not-so-big world!

I'll tell you a little secret. Ready? Even though it's been 7 months since my final chemo treatment, I still get tired out fairly fast. I make a concerted effort each day to spend my energy wisely. I try not to go up or down the stairs too many times, which also challenges my chemo-brain. (Hey, I like to multi-task.) I spend an hour's worth of my best energy most days on a workout. I've switched to late morning workouts this week. So far it's not helping me get to sleep sooner, though. By the end of the day I need to lie down and rest. I don't need or even want a nap. It's frustrating because there are lots of things I want and need my body to do. I know my energy level has improved greatly over these 7 months. And I am truly thankful for the healing that's going on inside. Still, I wish the process would hurry up.

I experienced a personal best today, despite my lingering energy issues. Today I was able to do 99% of Cathe Friedrich's Imax2. I modified to lessen the impact on my knees, and went 75% step-less, but that's THE BEST I've done with this uber challenging yet crazy fun interval workout. It's a PB without any J!

I am quite proud of myself! 

I've been fighting for the energy, stamina and strength for 18 months to do this particular workout. Couple that with starting Shock Training System this past Monday and WOW! It's nifty to the 10th power! This body is such an amazing machine. I keep thinking of the corny clique- takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'. I love being a Cathlete!

A fellow Cathlete, Carola, is currently Fighting the spread of breast cancer. She's a single mom who is currently bedridden. Cathletes- and many others- have joined together to support her through positive thoughts, prayers, and purses. Please donate as you're able, and offer your prayers of healing, peace and every need met. I truly and deeply thank you for supporting her- and me.

Still SINS, New STS

I know, I know~ I haven't blogged about SINS for weeks. I promise that I haven't forgotten about the challenges I gave myself and shared with the SINS community. I was doing so well that I even upped my weight loss challenge. I admit that I lost a bit of spark and focus on these challenges. Overall, I am eating and living healthier than ever though. I'm proud of my improvements and positive changes. And I now fit into a smaller size as a bonus. Yay!!

Update

1. Goal was to lose 12 pounds. I've lost 8.8 so far. Whoohooo!! I've got 13 days left. I'm confident and determined to lose at least 2 more pounds by April 23rd. 
2. Goal was to gain lean muscle. I have definitely accomplished this one! I've increased my weight load on nearly every exercise. Totally nifty!
3. Goal was to stay within the calorie range of 1550- 1800 and carb range of 164g- 195g. I've done well, but I know I can be more consistent. I'm recommitting as of now! 

I'm starting a new self-challenge that's in the same vein of SINS. Cathe Friedrich's Shock Training System (STS) starts Monday!! I am uber excited! When this amazing series came out in 2009 I couldn't afford it and wasn't physically ready for it. Then came cancer treatment #2, and my hopes for doing STS dropped. I pretty much decided to stop trying to find the means to do it. Then came Cathe's Cathlete Appreciation sale a couple weeks ago. I felt like I won the coupon lottery! I sold a few of Cathe DVDs that I don't use due to impact to help cover the cost, and that was a big success. Cathletes are THE best!!

I believe that STS is going to propel me into my lifetime highest level of fitness. It's going to strengthen more than my muscles. My bones, focus, and belief in myself will all grow stronger. I'm thankful for the opportunity and the challenge.

I won, I won!!

I won my first blog giveaway this morning!! Yippie! Thank you SOOOO much, Steff Says! I discovered Steff's inspirational, humorous, and sexy cool blog last week on Twitter. I highly recommend it!. Her blog has some yummy gluten and wheat free recipes with some fun 5 ingredient challenges to her partner. She's all about inspiration, and who's not into that? Steff, you've got a friend in me. You rock, in my book.

This is what I won! I'm super excited about ALL of these books. I've been wanting to read Omnivore's Dilemma for a couple years now. Looks like the time is now. I'm not a runner, but perhaps Chi Running will inspire me to give a whirl. I'm concerned about the impact on my post-chemo achy and sensitive knees.

My best friend's name in middle school and first 2 years in high school was Steph so winning from a Steff felt extra special. I know that's corny, and I don't care. 

True confession, I haven't had time to read anything other than Clean Eating magazine's recipes in months. I miss reading and it's escape and relaxation it brings me. My mom brought me home a couple of books from her book exchange at work two days ago. All of them sound interesting to me, but I gave them the one shoulder shrug because I didn't think I had the time to read. Then I won this giveaway and I finally got the message. I should MAKE time for reading. Hmmmmm.

So, I'm going to put together a fresh schedule/routine for myself this weekend. I have soooo many things that I want  to include in my daily, or at least weekly, life. It's not going to happen by luck or magic. It's going to take a plan of action and practice to establish a this new groove. Here's the beginning of my action plan, in no particular order:

I want more....

Yoga

reading

Self- Reiki

blog writing and development

healthy cooking

chat time with my sisters 

building my professional life

I'm content with the time I'm spending on...

enjoying my nieces and nephews (aka the Peeps)

Cathe workouts

TV (I only watch about 2 hours in the evening with Mom- IF that much)

To gain the time for these things I'm willing to reduce the time I spend on...

Facebook (bummer, I know)

Twitter (sooo fun and addicting- also useful and educational)

sleeping

 (I will be sure to get at least 8 hours, but I think I've been babying my post-cancer treatment body a bit too much. If I discover that I really need 10-12 hours each night I'll make the time.)

How do you manage your time? How often do you re-evaluate? Anyone willing to share a sketch of their routine? Post a comment and share your advice, I'll appreciate it very much!

Turkey Eve

It's Turkey Eve in my world, so Happy (early) Thanksgiving! My family is celebrating Thanksgiving early this year since my sister and her family will have moved to Texas by actual Thanksgiving. We've celebrated early for 4 years in a row now, the past 3 years we did it to fit my former work schedule in south Florida. Personally, I love having Thanksgiving early. It's my second favorite holiday, and this year, though it's been a tough year in many ways, I am filled with thankfulness. I'm thankful to be home, I'm thankful to be done with cancer treatments, I'm thankful my hair has started to grow back (even my eyelashes and eyebrows!), I'm thankful for the unconditional love of my family, I'm thankful for the joy my nieces and nephews bring to the family, I'm thankful for the opportunity to start over, I'm thankful for my Mom, I'm thankful for this blog and all my readers, and I'm thankful for all the wonderful and inspirational friends I've made through cancer. That's just the tip of my thankfulness mountain!

I'm thankful to be able to refine my health. I was officially cleared by my oncologist to start losing weight last weekend, and I've used this week as a transition. I've started using SparkPeople to keep daily track of my calories and goals. I love that I can keep track of everything in one spot! There are many things that I'd like to refine in my life, so I made a list and narrowed it down to these 6 goals to start off:
1. Self-Reiki treatment every day
2. Yoga 3 times a week
3. Eat less than 1800 calories a day
4. Eat at least 5 servings of Anti-Cancer diet recommended fruits and veggies each day
5. Work out 4 days each week
6. Only 4 cans of soda each week

I didn't include drinking at least 8 glasses of water, or eating whole grains instead of simple carbs because those are things that I've already made a part of my lifestyle. I mention this just so you know that I know that those things are very important in refining my health. *wink*

Aside from helping me lose weight, all of these goals also will help manage my stress and give me a sense of control over my health and life. Gotta love that combo!!