Official Start Time

Today I officially started the training process for the St. Jude half marathon next December. I've talked about it a lot, meditated on it, said a lot of positive affirmations to myself, asked for guidance from dear friends who are seasoned runners and then realized there was only 1 thing left to do. Take action by actually starting to run.

For the first part of my training, I'm using the popular Couch to 5K. I've got the app for my phone which makes it very convenient. The weather is finally good for running in Memphis, and I'm so thankful. This is a 9 week program where I'll be doing run/walk intervals for a total of 30 minutes. This means that I'll finish this program right before Christmas. I didn't plan that, but I think it's pretty cool how the timing works out. I'll be able to run a 5K by Christmas, which will be an amazing gift to myself.

The first day run/walk felt good. I haven't run since the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation's 5K at the end of September due to a sciatic event that occurred shortly afterwards. I'm healed now, and have learned from that injury. No more full out running down hill, my core needs strengthening, and stretch really well.

Today I started off feeling really strong, and felt almost easy. By the 6th of the 8 intervals my body felt the challenge. I talked myself through it with gratitude. It's truly amazing to me that I can run. It's even more amazing that I want to run. I'm deeply grateful that I can run. I imagined me and my friends at the St. Jude half marathon... all of us running together and drawing strength from each other. I'm so grateful to have friends are willing to travel to run with me.

I'll be running Tuesdays, Thursdays and either Saturdays or Sundays. On Tuesday and Thursday I'll add on upper body- including core- work, too. Mondays and Wednesdays I'll do low impact Tabata (intense intervals for 20 second followed by 10 seconds of rest, repeat) or HiiT (high intensity interval training which is short bursts of energy followed by short rest repeatedly about 10 times. I'll also add in, cautiously, Turbo Barre or floor work for my lower body. Fridays and Sunday or Saturday will be rest days.

I'll also continue daily with the Crane Dance created by Inner Peace for Inner Tough's Angella Hamiliton. (You can get a free download of this 6 minute calming yet powerful unique combo of Tai Chi and Qi Gong here.) This short 6 minutes is truly bringing more peace to my life.

Putting together a workout plan for the next 9 weeks feels really good. Having a physical goal that I'm able to work towards is a miracle.

Teal 5K

The beautiful and busy TEAL month of September has somehow ended already. It was an incredible month of activity and advocacy to raise awareness of ovarian cancer which left me little time to write about it. Ironically when I was blogging regularly I didn't have much of a life, and now that my life is so rich and full I haven't much time for blogging. I'm grateful for this life I've created, and am committed to blogging much more often.

This tiny blog is about to play a big role in a project called The Zen Method that I am honored and excited about... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

My last post was right before Teal for a Cure, my first running/walking 5K. Last year this event, without the 5K, had 225 participants. This year with the 5K added in we had an astonishing 909 participants! It was a sea of glorious TEAL. It felt surreal being there with all those people... I felt like I missed so much of it even though I was there... overwhelming grateful to everyone who worked so hard to create and support event and for all the people who donated their money and sweat to raise awareness of ovarian cancer.

Before the Race started the cameras clicked...

My running guru for the hour, Susan. She knew when to push me and when to slow down. She rocks.

My 2 oldest Peeps, TEAL Princesses. They were so excited to be at the "Teal Walk'.

I wasn't well prepared for this Race in many ways. I started training way too late and pushed myself too hard. I didn't get much sleep for the whole month of September, especially the 2 nights before this Race. I didn't drink nearly enough water the morning of the Race, and only ate a banana. Mentally I pushed those things aside, but my body was not to be tricked. I was about out of steam and my body tried to tell me by setting my throat on fire when I woke up at 5am. 

So, I Raced unprepared, exhausted, un-hydrated (un??)... but I was determined to Race.

I ran in memory & honor of my friend, fellow Cathlete & Teal Sister who earned her teal Wings a couple days before this Race.

My new friend, and Teal Sister, Marie (pictured below) graciously and thankfully ran and walked along side me and Susan. She came from out of town to be a part of the event, and didn't know anyone. I know her mom, a graceful strong and kind woman, and so I befriended her. Marie has those same beautiful characteristics of her mom. I am honored that she stuck with me through the Race as I know she could have finished much faster if she choose to. That's what Survivors- despite the color of our ribbons- do for each other. We hang on, hang in, encourage, share... 

L- Leisa Middle- Marie R me

There were A. LOT. OF. HILLS. I heard seasoned runners call this course 'tough'. The first mile was all shady climb then it flattened out and the sun beat down on us. My running guru for the hour, Susan, was so encouraging and kind. She even made up a cheer for me to the Mickey Mouse tune' C O N N I E it's her first 5K! Yay!'. God love her. 

I didn't have time before the long walk up hill to the start line to grab my interval timer so decided to just wing it. Not so smart. So I ran as much as I could, but walked much more than I had intended. My body was exhausted and just wasn't going to be forced into a stellar performance. 

Then again, I WAS out there giving it my all ... and I'm quite proud of that. 

We hit the second water hole and I couldn't believe we were two thirds done! I had a burst of energy and thankfully we got back into shade. I pushed along... and then there was the 3 mile flag. JOY!! Susan encouraged me to run that last 0.1 of a mile- downhill- to the finish line... and we did. I ran as fast as I could and was pleasantly shocked to see 56 minutes on the timer. By some wonderful miracle I was going to finish in less than 60 minutes despite all the circumstances. 

My official time was 57:37. 

I'd love to say that I looked victorious crossing the finish line. You know, fist pumping in the air as I slide gracefully through the finish line with a bright smile on my face. That would have been a lovely story. 

Instead I crossed the finish line and threw up a little. And very ungracefully threw myself on the nearest piece of grass and collected myself. Susan got me an apple, my sister Sally (who also ran her first 5K and finished in 55 minutes!!) got me water, and a lady I didn't know fanned me. My brother in law's Uncle Steve stood by and made sure I was recovering... and I did. The apple and water helped a lot. I stretched some and rejoined the group for the event's finale. We released doves in memory of our Teal Angels, including the lovely Virginia.

If you'd like to see more pictures of the event, please LIKE the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation's Facebook page. 

By 1pm I was sound asleep on my couch.. after a long nap and quiet evening I was proud to put on this handmade, specially made for me, bling shirt from my Florida friend Lesile. If you like her work, please LIKE her Facebook page. She will be happy to bling you up! I will wear this shirt often. Thank you, Lesile!!  

Cocoon Layers

In 2 days I will be running/walking a 5K, Teal for a Cure at the beautiful Shelby Farms. It's the first 5K that I'm running, though I've walked a 5K in the past. In my  'far away and with much heavier body before cancer' past.

It's astoundingly wonderful to me that my body as it is now is able to run. I'm in love with the notion that I can define running however I want and no 'running definition' policemen will hunt me down. I run slow, but both of my feet leave the ground at the same time and that- to me- is running. And I love the support and camaraderie of runners. It's great to have people encouraging me, the good for the soul kind of great.

However, I'm not new to working out, in fact I've been a proud Cathlete (avid fan of Cathe Friedrich's workouts) for over 12 years now. Though I share strong bond with my fellow Cathletes, the relationships- sadly- are mostly trapped in the Web. Oh how I wish it were different, though!! My workouts- as awesome and challenging as they truly are- are done in the privacy of my home. I'm generally not comfortable working out in front of people... But this running thing has changed me.

Or rather, this surviving cancer thing has changed me. Now I run in a public park in workout clothes instead of baggy cottons. Now I go to running shoe stores and run in front of strangers to find the great fitting shoes without anxiety. And I'm making running friends. Which feels strange but also very comfortable all at once. I've run with my youngest sister, Sally. And a new friend, who I met online and is a fellow blogger at I Run For My Life, Susan has graciously agreed to run Teal for a Cure with me. She's a seasoned marathon runner and a very sweet, fun and easy to talk to lady. I know she'll help me through the tough spots and keep me focused on the positives. You have my sincere gratitude, Susan.

I'm emerging from my cancer cocoon and realizing that the cocoon is made up of many layers. The latest layer has uncovered these gems of wisdom and change~

I'm not comparing my running to anyone else's, I'm enjoying that I CAN run while challenging myself with each run. I'm amazingly grateful.

The real me knows that it doesn't matter how much time it takes me to complete this 5K on Saturday morning. Sure, I'd like to finish in 55 minutes or less. Yet, I know the true joy and miracle is that I can run/walk 3.1 miles.

Although I wish I had the physique of a runner right now, but I won't let my frivolous ego hold me back. My body is changing... becoming leaner, stronger, faster, more flexible and healthier every week. How my body looks is such a tiny part of who I really am. It's reflecting in my self talk, which is a miracle in a true sense (not a sarcastic one).

Being a runner is in my soul, not my skin. Just like being a Cathlete. I just didn't realize it until I started running. My workouts and runs will show up on up outside soon enough, it was more important for the love of working out- and love of myself- get embedded in my soul.

Tomorrow I'm going to be interviewed on TV. I knew about the possibility a few days ago, but didn't really think it would happen. It's really happening now! Gulp. Wow!! Whoa. I'm honored to represent ovarian cancer Survivors,  the Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation, and the opportunity to use my Voice and story to raise awareness of this disease that's avoidable and treatable if caught early. Knowledge is TEAL power.

Days of Teal

I left you with the promise to share what Ovarian Cancer Awareness Foundation in Memphis is doing to raise awareness of OvCa this TEAL month of September, and I always keep my promises. 

Our next event is our monthly support networking group on Thursday Sept 20th 6:30pm at the Junior League building 3475 Central Ave just off Highland (near Univ of Memphis). We are having a guest speaker, Lynn Watson of Footsteps in Eden. She's going to tell us about reflexology, how it can play a role in treatment and post-treatment recovery, teach us some moves we can do on our own and give a demonstration of what a treatment is like for 1 lucky attendee. We'll have snacks and story sharing, too, of course. 

Next is the BIG ONE! Teal for a Cure 5K Walk/Run (or 1 Mi Fun Walk) at Shelby Farms on Saturday the 22nd starting at 8am (race starts promptly at 9am and will go around a paved Chickasaw Trail). There will be a silent auction, Dove release for Teal Angels, live music from the Wolf River Rednecks, Door Prizes, Teal Touch mini-massages, the unveiling of our new logo (it's AWEsome), and the Teal Corner shop. If you haven't registered yet, you can do so here. 

If you don't live around Memphis, and can't join us for the Walk, I'd deeply appreciate the support of your donation. You can be a spirit runner or walker for only $15 and you'll get a T-shirt, or you can simply donate to OCAF. But you know you want that Tshirt!!

Your donation will have greatly deep meaning to me this year for 2 reasons. First, I'll soon be celebrating 2 full years since completing and surviving chemo. This is gigantic! 

Second, for the first time ever in my entire life I will be running and walking this 5K. Yes, you read that right. I've let go of my old saying that I only run if I'm being chased. Now I run because I can. I run because my body is able to run. I run because I can make my own definition of running (I recently learned that you can make running mean and look like whatever you want to yourself). I run because I'm grateful to this body and soul that has been through the darkest of tunnels and come out to find abundant bright Light and Love.

I was inspired to start running just a couple of weeks ago by a Teal Sister, and blogger, Deb. She's been training using Couch to 5K and will be graduating from that program this Saturday morning. I'm going to cheer for her and celebrate that she CAN run with her. She's a little older than me and has a bit less time in remission than me, and so I could think of absolutely no reason I shouldn't at least try to run. 

And now I love to run. Well, I love that I can run then I start running and feel great for a little bit then it feels challenging  but then I stretch under the big trees in the park and get that glorious runner's high for the rest of the day and love it all over again.

So, would please support me in my first ever running 5K? 

My next post I'll share my complex feelings of being out of treatment for 2 full years, and even more Days of TEAL in Memphis with OCAF. 

Light and Love going out tonight, and always, to all the lives that were lost and forever altered by the events of 9/11/01. I saw this quote today and thought it fit in beautifully with my upcoming cancer anniversary and memorial of 9/11/01~ 

“There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.' No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster." Dalai Lama XIV

 

1st Year Anniv

Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy happy happy anniversary- to ME!

Exactly one year ago today I heard the beautiful word REMISSION from my gynecologic oncologist. (Here's how I felt last year on this day.)

Formerly-my Marine sent me 2 dozen beautiful roses about a week ago to brighten the celebration. He was so sweet to include peach roses in honor of my first diagnosis of uterine cancer. They were gorgeous, and I deeply appreciate his gift and poetic note. Thank you for remembering and sharing a piece of the celebration, wherever you are serving our country. 

This morning I was really emotional, and had a few crying spells. I cried out of relief for continued Remission. I cried out of feeling overwhelmed with all the things happening in my life that I can't control. I cried over Veterans Day... missing my Bapa (may he Rest in Peace) and missing "my" Marine. I cried for the Survivors that I care about that are in the Fighting stage and aren't feeling the joy of Remission yet. And I cried for those Fighters who will never know the joy of Remission. I cried out of guilt.

Today was a day to celebrate, though. So I shed my tears and then moved forward.

I celebrated by sleeping a bit late, honoring Veterans by doing an oldie but goodie Cathe Friedrich workout called Bootcamp (it's a circuit workout with 8 cycles of 1 minute of cardio, upper body, lower body and core exercises), studying for next week's securities exam, an extra long shower with luxurious shea butter salt exfoliation...

 a delicious lunch of divine twin lobster tails and a shared brownie macadamia nut sundae with the best Caregiver in my world at Bonefish Grill (thank you, Mom!), and topped the celebration off with finding the perfect pair of trouser jeans that I've wished I could fit into for a long time. An absolutely lovely afternoon of celebration!! I'm filled with thankfulness.

I thought it would be interesting to see how my look has changed from the beginning of my second diagnosis in January of 2010 to today... I hope to get back to this first picture soon... but I know that old me is gone. This post treatment look and feel is completely different, and I'm still learning to love and accept this as I strive improve my body and health.

Pre- dx 2 in October of 2009 back in South Florida.

I moved home to West Tennessee in May of 2010, after radiation. Relay for Life in Fayette county was the following weekend. My mom and I shared a big hug before the walk began. 

The day I started chemo, my nephew was born. He was so sweet to wait until my first treatment was over so Mom and I could be there for him and his mama.

A couple weeks later my hair started falling out. This was the short haircut I got to try to delay the process and deal with it emotionally. That didn't last long... This was the night my sister Heidi, my mom and I had a margarita party and shaved my head. 

An interesting look for me... I was so thankful to have a new baby to snuggle up to.

A couple weeks later I got a wig. I only wore it once. It just wasn't me. 

I was just getting used to going bald in public and around the house when this picture was taken in July. 

By the end of July I had accepted being bald fairly well. I only kept these eyebrows and stray strands for a couple weeks. 

My last chemo treatment was 9/15/10 and I got to ring the big bell.  I felt so weak and sick standing out there in the sticky heat, but I was thankful that chemo was over.

Last fall I looked like a ghost. 

Last Halloween.... 

11/11/10- Remission-ing in celebration cashmere.

By early December I had some fuzz on my head again, and I was so glad though I didn't really like how I looked during the re-growth. I was thankful to have eyebrows again.

By January I could sport a faux hawk. I'm wearing my celebration cashmere sweater again here. Yay for cashmere in teal!

By March (remember my trip to Vegas?) I didn't look so much like a chemo patient anymore, thankfully.

By May I had short dark curls that were finally starting to look good to me. This was last year's Relay for Life shirt that my sister and I designed for the Team her employer sponsors every year.

  

August of 2011... curls starting to grow out which is wonderful and awkward too. Can you believe how big and adorable my nephew is now!? So many changes in just a year for both of us... 

Here's how the 'do looks today... the curls seem to be here to stay though I am getting some length. I can put some hair into a ponytail now. There's one curl in the front that does this annoying Michael Jackson thing. I really really hope that grows out soon.

 I'm wearing a new cashmere sweater in celebration of my first full year of Remission. I hope to have a dresser full of celebration cashmere sweaters...

I couldn't sleep the night before my port a cath removal surgery. What if the surgery left a big hole in my chest that never healed? What if I can't work out again? A big case of the what if's. I gave myself a self-Reiki treatment, read a few affirmations from Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life, and watched (aka previewed so I'm a little bit mentally prepared for it) a few DVDs from Cathe Friedrich's new Low Impact Series. 

I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my gut about going through with the port removal. I called a dear spiritual  friend and asked for guidance. He knows me very well and knew the right questions to ask to guide me to a calmer place and form a plan. I decided to go, but ask the surgeon some questions and then decide whether or not to have the surgery. My body, my choice. 

Cancer treatment can take away a lot of power and choices in your life. I didn't want to get the port put in, but I didn't get much choice. So in having it removed I wanted more control.

I believe in Angels among us. God blessed me with a sweet Survivor sister Angel as I checked in. I recognized her by her bright teal toenails. A sister in ovarian cancer Survival, Carol greeted me with a hug and asked what I was doing at West Clinic. She was there to pick up a CD of a recent test, so she had a little time. She met my mom and talked with us about the pros and cons of port removal. She understands the depth of such dilemmas. I felt much better after talking with her, and thankful that God always has His hand of love and comfort on me. 

I was foolishly surprised to get an IV stick. It hadn't occurred to me that port removal surgery would require an IV. Funny the things my mind thinks about and the things it completely disregards. Thankfully, the nurse only had to stick me once. Ouchie!! 

I waited with my mom for 90 minutes with the IV in my arm before I even got back to the surgery prep room. The nurse started the paperwork, and I asked questions. Apparently no one has ever asked these questions before, because she didn't know the answers. She asked a surgeon to come talk with me. She couldn't have been kinder or patient with me, and I deeply appreciate it. 

The surgeon was also kind and patient. He said there was no reason not to have it removed, and explained in great detail why and what would happen to my body after it was gone. There's no muscle involved, the port was subcutaneous (just under the skin). This is important info to me as a Cathlete. I didn't want to damage my hard earned muscles! I felt satisfied and decided to have it removed. 

As I started to undress I realized that I wore the wrong shirt. I wore long sleeve fitted shirt because it's a bit cool here. That was the wrong choice because it was painful and awkward to take off over my IV especially when I can barely move my arm. My mom had to help me. ha! 

I climbed onto a very narrow table that I'm surprised that I fit on. The nurse and 2 surgical techs got me and instruments prepped. I made jokes about blood spurting because they had my covered with blue medical paper and the CT scanner covered with a big shower cap like thing. Even though it was Halloween, no blood spurted out. I was given local anesthesia and something to help me relax, but I could feel pain-less pressure of the surgeon cutting out the port and was wide awake. Yep, that's right. It's an amazing and creepy feeling. The surgeon and I had a nice discussion about finance and in a few minutes I was free of the port. 

After it was out I felt the urge to see this port. The nurse cleaned it up and gave it to me to keep. It's like a cancer Survivor's medal of honor. Wanna see? 

Doesn't it look like a tiny computer mouse? It's about 8 inches long and it's about 1/2" thick. No wonder it stuck out of my chest so much! 

I'm relieved to have this foreign object out of my body, yet thankful for the service it provided to me during chemo. I'm going to keep it as a reminder and interesting show and tell piece. 

I'm counting down 10 more days until 1 full year of official remission. I have something fun and special planned for the blog that day. Meanwhile, here's a peek at how much my hair has grown since the last time I shared a picture. It's still dark and really curly, but I can almost put it in a ponytail. I have so much to be thankful for.... 

1 Year Chemo- Free Cancerversary

Today is a special cancerversary for me. A year ago today, at exactly this time, I was getting my final chemo treatment. I was completely bald, and at the point having great pain in the bones of my legs, my feet were numb most of the time, I was very tired and very weak. Still, I was thankful that I had a loving family, especially my Mom who is the best Caregiver in the universe!!, a God who comforts, heals and loves me, sisters who made me feel confident in my beauty to be out in public completely bald and who kept me laughing, for my Peeps who showered me with their love and support in their own special and innocent toddler ways, new and old friends who cheered me on from near and far, and for the precious gift of life even though I was sick. 


Here's a look back at my very first post when I looked like a ghost. (That's right, I'm a poet too. ha!)
http://cancerasmycatalyst.blogspot.com/2010_10_17_archive.html


A year later and I've been in remission just over 10 months. I have a full head of very curly and darker brown hair. I still get tired sometimes, but it's happening much less often. I'm thankful for the energy level I have now, because I still clearly remember what it feels like to not have any energy. I'm still thankful for all the blessings in my life, and I'm grateful that over the last year that list has grown. I'm thankful to own my own business though I work hard and long hours, I get to choose the days and times I work. Sometimes I even get to work in my PJs! I also  get to choose who I work with and when, and I have the opportunity to be Leader and invest my energy into motivating other people to dream big and create wealth for themselves. I'm thankful to my body for amazing me as I completed Cathe's Shock Training System. I'm thankful that I get to spend  a day a week with 2 of my Peeps, and help my sister. 


I find myself with lots of tears today. Tears of joy. Some from the painful memories of chemo. Some for the people I know that won't get to celebrate a year free from chemo, or cancer. Some tears of guilt and confusion.Some of overwhelming thankfulness.  


And some of frustration with my body. About 3 weeks ago I had my first ever sciatica flare/issue/pain. For about a week it was excruciating to stand or walk, or do just about anything else.  Slowly, my body is healing thanks to 2 reflexology treatments and Young Living's essential oils. I haven't been able to work out, and it's extremely frustrating. Cathletes NEED their daily sweat and burn fix!!


Truth is that this sciatica issue, in my left leg, reminds me all too much of the pains of chemo. Instead of the crushing bone feeling, though, I have a burning cord feeling down the back of my leg. My left heel is partially numb. So even though I've come sooooooooooo far in a year, at this moment I'm not feeling it. There's a little voice in the back of head what's wondering if I'll ever be able to work out with Cathe Friedrich's DVDs again. Will I ever walk 100% normally? Will this numbness melt away? These are questions I was asking myself a year ago. It never occurred to me that I'd ask them again.


 I'm healing and I'm believing that I will walk normally again and have normal healthy body again. It happened once, right? 


Happy cancerversary to me! Here's to more cancerversaries to Fighters and Survivors everywhere!! 

http://www.cafepress.com/+fighters_survivors_taken_1_oc_white_tshirt,255977068

Overdue Results, as promised

I've been a proud Cathlete for last 12 years. My final chemo treatment- for my second round of gynecologic cancer in 2 years- was September 15 in 2010. Seven months later on April 11 I had recovered enough to start on a fitness journey that I had been longing to go on for years. Cathe Friedrich's STS, or Shock Training Program. Initially, it was 14 week, or 3 1/2 month, commitment. It became a 17 week process for me due to some travelling. It's a 3 stage strength training program- endurance, hypertrophy, and strength. It was an amazing and surprising journey!!

When I started my body was quite weak, but my Spirit was- and still is!- strong and enduring. I choose this program because I wanted stronger muscles, and I wanted to earn back the (self) title of 'Cathlete'. During my second cancer's treatment I wasn't able to exercise very often and I missed it deeply. I wanted to follow a strength training program to combat the damage that chemo and radiation treatment did to my bones. Did you know that chemo often leads to bone loss? STS was the perfect fit for my goal.

I'm also on a weight loss journey, but I felt like gaining muscle and feeling my physical strength grow was more important than focusing on shedding pounds. Cathe helped me lose 75 pounds 8 years ago, and 20 more pounds in the last year. I have 50 more pounds that I'm in the process of losing, and I have no doubt that I will reach that goal thanks to Cathe's ultra effective DVDs and very helpful articles about living healthy.

Back to the STS results... I actually have noticeable tricep and bicep muscles!! This totally thrills me!! When I started STS the heaviest bicep curl I could do was 16 pounds. The heaviest week of STS I was curling 45.2 pounds. Crazy awesome!! When I started STS I could only do push- ups from the easiest knee position, and after STS I can do 6 full reps from my toes!! Astounding!! When I started STS the most I could chest press was 14 pounds, and during the heaviest week of STS I was benching 60 pounds! Totally amazing!!

The endurance and strength that my legs built up is the most incredible to me, but harder to measure because I substituted other Cathe leg DVDs for the Meso cycle 3. Meso cycle 3 is mostly plyo moves and my kness can't handle that kind of impact since chemo. When I first started with STS I couldn't hold any weight in my hands during any of the paper plate lunges, and I had to modify the depth of the move. At the end of STS, I could do the full Pyramid Lower Body lunges using 16, 22 and 30 pounds. That's the best comparison I can put together. When I started STS the heaviest weight I could squat with was 25 pounds, and at the end of STS I could do the full PLB squats using 30, 35 and 45 pounds.

I've never ever been this strong, and I absolutely love it!!! I recently had a bone density test as a post-cancer treatment follow up, and I'm very grateful to say that my bone density is completely normal!

Thank you, Cathe, from the bottom of my heart, for creating such an awesome strength building program. It gave me something to look forward to during treatment, and helped me create the strongest body and mind I've ever had in my life. I know I'll reach my weight loss goals by continuing to follow your lead.

Sarah's Thoughts behind the Art, a special guest post

Please welcome my dear friend, Sarah, who graciously wrote a Guest Post about her beautiful and meaningful artwork.... 

There was a lot that inspired me to draw this picture. Originally, when I sat down with my sketch pad I intended to draw some sort of general "cancer support" something or other. So I started thinking about all of the people in my life that have battled cancer. Some have fought and won. Others have fought and lost. As I sat there thinking about all these people and trying to decide on what to draw, I received a text from my dear friend Connie. In that instant I knew it was a sign. I was suppose to create this for her. She is a cancer survivor. She is an amazingly kind, generous and all around awesome human being. Connie has done so many wonderful things for me. I knew at that moment this was suppose to be a gift to her to say "Thank you for being you and being my friend."

I am touched and honored by Sarah's drawing of me. Seeing myself drawn thin is really cool, and is helping me be able to see it actually happening. It's a much appreciated bonus. 

Sarah has drawn me as a strong athlete. This resonates in me because that's how I think and dream of myself, even though my body now doesn't reflect it. I know that all these Cathe Friedrich workouts are transforming my body day by day. 

The color selections in Sarah's piece are packed with special meanings. Purple for all cancer Survivors, and happens to be my favorite color. The upside down placement of the purple ribbons signifies a Survivor. I just learned that last month at an Ovarian cancer Survivor support group. So if you're a Survivor and wear a ribbon flip upside down! 

The  Peach tank top signifying my first cancer win over endometrial, otherwise known as uterine. That first cancer was subtle- much like the color. 

The Teal ribbon is appropriately wrapped around my lower body like a shield. I like that it's big and bold, because Ovarian cancer came into my life big and bold. It also changed my life in positive big and bold ways. 

Sarah even took great care in coloring my eyes green, and drawing my hair into crazy curls. 

I truly love this drawing, and I'm deeply grateful for Sarah's friendship and artistic talents. 

Starting Again. Again.

Where to start? I have so much to share with my dear Readers, but haven't the time. Same ol' story, I know.

I'm working on refreshing this blog and bringing it back. Again. Please look on the right side of the screen... My dear friend Sarah drew this piece of me in celebration of Remission. She'll be writing a Guest Post about her inspiration for this beautiful piece soon!

I'm 18 days away from a full year since chemo treatments. I can't believe it's been a year!! I've glossed over many cancerversaries the past several weeks. Though they each have deep meaning to me, my focus has been elsewhere. I think that's a good sign. I've focused mostly on my business, but also on finishing Cathe Friedrich's Shock Training System (STS) and releasing negative emotions through Young Living essential oils and writing in my journal.

Remission is beautiful and full. I thank God every single day for this amazing life, even on the days when I'm not feeling particularly grateful because human life is sometimes challenging. Those are the times when it's most important to have a grateful heart.

Cleaning it Up

I think it's time to shake up the blog a bit. My posts have been pretty heavy lately. Life isn't so serious. I make time for fun and yummies, too. In fact laughter and clean healthy whole foods are great for healing processes. But you already knew that, right? 

Last Sunday I took inventory of my freezer and pantry then sat down with my Clean Eating, Oxygen and Eating Well magazines and came up with a plan. I need quick dishes that are rich in protein and veggies because life is wonderfully full but I still want to eat healthy. I like lots of nutritional bang from the time I put into the kitchen.

I made the following 3 recipes in about 2 hours. Seriously, just 2 little hours. You have 2 hours to devote to eating healthier, don't you? 

Burger Mix (from Oxygen's Collector's Issue Summer 2005) (I quad'ed the org recipe for the week)

 16oz extra lean ground beef (I use grass fed)

2 cups brown rice (already had it cooked and frozen so it was super easy)

1 c chopped onion

15 oz can of no salt added diced tomatoes

I added a little big of Greek seasoning and ketchip too. Yum! 

My mom wanted me to try replicate a Garbanzo bean Salad she had at catered event last week.

2 cans organic Garbanzo beans

1/4 c unsweetened dried cherries

1 big can of artichoke hearts

1/2 red onion, diced

1/2 bunch of parsley, chopped

1 clove of garlic 

4 oz goat cheese

1/3 c chopped walnuts

Then I whisked together organic oilive oil and organic apple cider vinegar to hold it together. Mom said I nailed it! Woot!! 

The last thing I 'cooked' today came from Eating Well's June 2010 issue:

Broccoli, Ham and Pasta Salad

6 ounces of dry whole wheat noodles

4 cups broccoli (I steamed a bag of frozen, because raw brocc doesn't work well at my house)

6 ounces nitrate free ham and turkey lunch meat (instead of diced ham)

large red pepper, diced

1/3 c red onion, finely diced

1/3 c raisins

Creamy Herb Dressing

1/2 c low fat mayo

1/3 c nonfat plain yogurt (I used Greek, and therefore could have easily halved or eliminated the mayo)

1/4 c lowfat sour cream

3 T rice vinegar (could sub white wine vin)

1 T Dijon mustard

1 T honey

1/2 T dried chives (or fresh)

1.5 tsp tarragon or dillweed

1/2 tsp onion and/or celery salt (I just used onion powder)

white pepper to taste

Mix it all up! 

I've got a little of the Burger Mix and Garbanzo Bean salad left to get me through the weekend. Which reminds me, I'll need to make a plan for next week soon. 

What's your clean eating plan for next week?

I finished Cathe Friedrich's STS (Shock Training System) yesterday. I'm so proud of myself! I made fantastic strength gains on a few different levels, but that's the next post. 

Don't miss it! 

Crossing CrossFit

CrossFit. 


The day after I first published this post fellow blogger, Memphian and cancer Survivor Chris published an awesome CrossFit post. I felt like his post should be included. What Exactly Is CrossFit by chris beat cancer  offers a successful Survivor doing CrossFit perspective. You have my total respect, Chris. 

If you've never heard of it, just don't know much about it, or if you need some fresh exercise ideas spend some time perusing CrossFit Exercises. Be warned- you could be there all day.

Amazing. Crazy. Ultra-challenging. Inspirational. Unfathomable at times. Awesome. And just a tad intimidating. Right?

I have a connection to CrossFit, if you can believe it. This past February through April I participated in an online bloggers body challenge hosted by Strong is the New Skinny bloggers Marsha and Adam. No, I didn't follow a paleo way of eating. No, I didn't do any CrossFitting. But I rubbed virtual elbows with some very cool paleo eating CrossFitters. Remember? It was inspiring.

Since I completed this challenge I've had a lingering curiosity about CrossFit and the paleo way of eating. It whispers to me, eggs me on. Taunts me. I felt pretty safe because I didn't think there were any CrossFit gyms (is that what they're called?) in Memphis. No, I didn't bother checking or searching. I just assumed, and you know how that goes. 

Then I went to my suburb's first farmer's market a couple Saturdays ago and found myself standing in front of a CrossFit gym. Then I found myself standing INSIDE said CrossFit gym. That's right- 

inside. 

CrossFit Bartlett played a very big role in bringing a farmer's market into the community, and I'm very grateful. So on the market's opening day the gym was offering a free look-see and workout. I was so excited when the lady at the snow cone booth told me about it! (Yes, I'm aware of the irony.) Beyond excited, really. Crazy excited, and giddy. I couldn't wait to go check it out!! 

So my mom and my sister's 3 toddlers and I went in. That's right- all of us. Thankfully, this gym is fairly kid friendly and had some toys. I'm pretty sure there wasn't any A/C though. It was really hot and humid that day. 

It didn't look like any gym I'd ever seen before, but it was the coolest gym I've ever seen. It was also the scariest and most mysterious gym I've ever seen. I wasn't dressed for any kind of workout and had on the wrong shoes, so I was going to just observe. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. 

The owner of the gym and one of the trainers talked with me for a few minutes. I found myself signing up for a free one on one introduction workout. One of the members- a very kind man- came over to me and explained how the gym worked. I appreciated that act of kindness very much!! I was pretty surprised (and disheartened) that none of them had even heard of Cathe Friedrich, though. 

I watched members perform exercises that I wouldn't think would be humanly possible. 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/crossfitbartlett/page8/

This is some version of a hybrid pull-up/core exercise. Seriously, I watched a guy jump up and grab the bar then pull his toes up to his fingers. My jaw was on the ground. I'm quite sure that I couldn't have even jumped up and held onto the bar. 

The longer I watched and took it all in, the more out of place and uncomfortable I felt. I felt weak and flabby-like an ugly scarred unpopular fat girl that didn't fit in. It was a bummer, because I had been looking forward to the CrossFit experience for quite awhile.

I had found out just a few days before this that I have an incisional hernia, and had been cautioned by my oncologist to wear a very stylish compression belt when I workout. It didn't seem logical that CrossFitting was to become a part of my life. Even more secretly, I wish it could be. 

I left before the exhibition workout started. The kids were antsy and it was really hot. I had to get out of there. I was ball of emotion, and was close tears. I can't do CrossFit workokuts, I knew it in my soul as I walked out the door. I felt very disappointed and frustrated with this body that has survived cancer twice. My oldest niece asked me why we were leaving, and I started crying when I told her the truth- Aunt Connie can't do this, honey. I hated having to tell her that truth. Since the end of chemo 10 months ago I've brought this body and mind a really long way (I thought), but being there made me feel like it wasn't good enough. I don't want to feel like I'm not good enough. 

I couldn't stop thinking about it, though. I had set an appointment, remember? I called my oncologist on Monday, asked the burning question and waited for a call back. My soul was right, I can't do CrossFit according to my oncologist. She thought it was pretty crazy to even consider it, actually. She's probably right, but I didn't like hearing it. 

I'm disappointing and frustrated about it, and a bit relieved too. I felt embarrassed writing the 'sorry I have to cancel my appointment' email to the owner and trainer, but they were both gracious and understanding. 

So, I came across CrossFit, and had to cross it out. 

Perhaps after I lose my extra weight and have the hernia repair surgery I'll be able to try it. I sure hope so. 

Are you a CrossFitter? How did you get into it? Share your experience with me! 

Whaddya know?

Apparently this blog doesn't write itself... Hmpf. I wish I could just think a post and have it magically appear. On second thought, that may terrify everyone. Nevermind.

No, I'm not quitting or giving up this blog. Life has been beautifully busy, but short on hours.

Here are some upcoming topics (yes, soon):

A convention that changed my life.... My 9 month post chemo battery of tests and scans report...  My wonderful quality time with all 5 of Peeps this summer... Strength training pride... My first encounter with Cross Fit... Weight loss update... How essential oils are improving my life...

That should get the ball rolling again. Fresh post coming up on Wednesday evening. Pinky swear.