1st Year Anniv

Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy happy happy anniversary- to ME!

Exactly one year ago today I heard the beautiful word REMISSION from my gynecologic oncologist. (Here's how I felt last year on this day.)

Formerly-my Marine sent me 2 dozen beautiful roses about a week ago to brighten the celebration. He was so sweet to include peach roses in honor of my first diagnosis of uterine cancer. They were gorgeous, and I deeply appreciate his gift and poetic note. Thank you for remembering and sharing a piece of the celebration, wherever you are serving our country. 

This morning I was really emotional, and had a few crying spells. I cried out of relief for continued Remission. I cried out of feeling overwhelmed with all the things happening in my life that I can't control. I cried over Veterans Day... missing my Bapa (may he Rest in Peace) and missing "my" Marine. I cried for the Survivors that I care about that are in the Fighting stage and aren't feeling the joy of Remission yet. And I cried for those Fighters who will never know the joy of Remission. I cried out of guilt.

Today was a day to celebrate, though. So I shed my tears and then moved forward.

I celebrated by sleeping a bit late, honoring Veterans by doing an oldie but goodie Cathe Friedrich workout called Bootcamp (it's a circuit workout with 8 cycles of 1 minute of cardio, upper body, lower body and core exercises), studying for next week's securities exam, an extra long shower with luxurious shea butter salt exfoliation...

 a delicious lunch of divine twin lobster tails and a shared brownie macadamia nut sundae with the best Caregiver in my world at Bonefish Grill (thank you, Mom!), and topped the celebration off with finding the perfect pair of trouser jeans that I've wished I could fit into for a long time. An absolutely lovely afternoon of celebration!! I'm filled with thankfulness.

I thought it would be interesting to see how my look has changed from the beginning of my second diagnosis in January of 2010 to today... I hope to get back to this first picture soon... but I know that old me is gone. This post treatment look and feel is completely different, and I'm still learning to love and accept this as I strive improve my body and health.

Pre- dx 2 in October of 2009 back in South Florida.

I moved home to West Tennessee in May of 2010, after radiation. Relay for Life in Fayette county was the following weekend. My mom and I shared a big hug before the walk began. 

The day I started chemo, my nephew was born. He was so sweet to wait until my first treatment was over so Mom and I could be there for him and his mama.

A couple weeks later my hair started falling out. This was the short haircut I got to try to delay the process and deal with it emotionally. That didn't last long... This was the night my sister Heidi, my mom and I had a margarita party and shaved my head. 

An interesting look for me... I was so thankful to have a new baby to snuggle up to.

A couple weeks later I got a wig. I only wore it once. It just wasn't me. 

I was just getting used to going bald in public and around the house when this picture was taken in July. 

By the end of July I had accepted being bald fairly well. I only kept these eyebrows and stray strands for a couple weeks. 

My last chemo treatment was 9/15/10 and I got to ring the big bell.  I felt so weak and sick standing out there in the sticky heat, but I was thankful that chemo was over.

Last fall I looked like a ghost. 

Last Halloween.... 

11/11/10- Remission-ing in celebration cashmere.

By early December I had some fuzz on my head again, and I was so glad though I didn't really like how I looked during the re-growth. I was thankful to have eyebrows again.

By January I could sport a faux hawk. I'm wearing my celebration cashmere sweater again here. Yay for cashmere in teal!

By March (remember my trip to Vegas?) I didn't look so much like a chemo patient anymore, thankfully.

By May I had short dark curls that were finally starting to look good to me. This was last year's Relay for Life shirt that my sister and I designed for the Team her employer sponsors every year.

  

August of 2011... curls starting to grow out which is wonderful and awkward too. Can you believe how big and adorable my nephew is now!? So many changes in just a year for both of us... 

Here's how the 'do looks today... the curls seem to be here to stay though I am getting some length. I can put some hair into a ponytail now. There's one curl in the front that does this annoying Michael Jackson thing. I really really hope that grows out soon.

 I'm wearing a new cashmere sweater in celebration of my first full year of Remission. I hope to have a dresser full of celebration cashmere sweaters...

Celebrating with Cashmere

It's still sinking into my brain and my soul~ remission. What a humongous relief!! It doesn't feel real to me quite yet. I am overwhelmed by all the joyful responses I've gotten from my friends and family on Facebook last night and today. I am over-filled with thankfulness for every prayer, every positive vibe, every strong shoulder, every Reiki treatment, every hug, every card and email, every gift, every friend that helped to hold me up and encourage me along this 14 month cancer treatment journey. A very special thank you to my mom, Sharon. Thank you Mom for your strength and love that reached all way to south Florida at the beginning of this scary cancer journey and that brought me home for the completion with it's sickness turned to joy. Also, thank you, Mom, for all of your many layers of support, kindness, faith, and care-giving. You're a God-sent Angel, I have no doubt!


This is my Mom, my Angel, and I last Christmas. I love you Mom!



It took a few hours to get to hear the word 'remission' from my Gyn Oncologist. I started with a blood draw, which happens every time to go The West Clinic. Then we moved to a waiting area and I answer questions about how I've felt the past week using an e-Tablet (which is pretty cool because it saves paper and is more efficient for the clinic!). A few minutes later a Tech comes out and gives me a bottle of water and kindly tells me to drink it and they'll be ready to scan me in about 20 minutes. I was a little confused about the water, because when I've had CT scans in the past I have to drink 3 big bottles of this chalky barium. I'm thankful for the water, though, and drink it up. Another Tech comes out 20 minutes later to bring me to the scanner, and I cautiously tell her that I haven't had any barium drink yet. She tells me that the medicine they need for the scan was in the water, it's a new and much easier way. Whoohoooo!! The CT scan went smoothly and as usual I kept my eyes closes and allowed my brain to bring me to a happy place. The Techs came back in and that was it. The easiest and friendliest CT scan ever!! 


Then it was upstairs to my Gyn Oncologist's waiting area. We waited for a couple hours, but somehow Mom and I stayed fairly relaxed about it. Mom has a Droid with lots of fun Apps so that entertained us while we waited. Finally, at almost 5 o'clock, it's my turn. The nurse is very friendly and answers my questions. A few minutes later my oncologist comes in. We talk for a couple minutes and then it's exam time. Ouchie!!! Thankfully it was over quickly. I asked the rest of my questions, and am happy with the answers. My oncologist turns and does some stuff on the computer that's in the exam room. Then she says, your scan is Good, no signs of cancer anywhere. Mom and I both tear up with relief and joy. The onc finishes up, gives me a high 5 and leaves the room. Mom and I share a big hug and a few tears. And just like that this long 14 month cancer treatment journey comes to an end. It blows my mind! 


We celebrated by going out to dinner at Colton's Steakhouse. It was deeeelish! Then we got down to the serious celebrating and went to one of our favorite stores, Kohl's!! I've been eying their cashmere sweaters for a couple years. So when I came across a beautiful teal cashmere sweater that just happened to be 55% off I just HAD to try it on. It fit very nice and looked quite good, if I do say so myself. As I took it off I commented to Mom that it was fun to just try it on. And she said that she would buy it for me in celebration of my remission!! My Mom is totally awesome!! (My youngest niece, who is 2 and half has a shirt that says the exact same thing!). What a fabulous way to celebrate!! 


Here I am wearing my celebration cashmere!! Look how much my hair has grown! And I even have some eyebrows again!! Thank you, God, for remission and for all of the thousands of other blessing in my life.