Surrounded by Awesome with a Twist of Romance

I have been surrounded by awesomeness this Tuesday!! It began with passing a state exam. Whoohooo!! After sharing the exciting news with family and friends over the phone and Facebook I went shopping at Target. I found a great deal on a Dremel-like tool that I've needed for awhile, and I found a pair of capris on clearance that fit me beautifully in a new smaller size. 

Awesomeness x 3!

While I was shopping something happened to me that hasn't happened in an extremely long time. A good-looking man flirted with me and asked me out on a date. Actually, I'm pretty sure that this has NEVER happened to me. He's a Target employee so he started off the conversation by asking if he could help me with anything. I told him that I found what I needed, and held up the Gorilla tape. He asked what I was using it for and I told him. Then he asked if my husband was going to be helping me. I chuckled and said no, and did the same when he asked about a boyfriend. He seemed really surprised that I didn't have a boyfriend. Honestly at this point I felt like he was making fun of me. Isn't that pathetic? This guy is going out on a limb and sweetly flirting with a complete stranger and in my head I'm questioning WHY he would want to talk to me.  

He asked if I had kids, and again no. He was really confused now. It was sweet and funny. He introduced himself and asked my name. I told him my first name and shook his hand. He told me that I was beautiful and he couldn't believe I was single because I was 'hot'. He actually used the words 'beautiful' and 'hot' to describe me! I know I'm beautiful, but I think of myself more as a beautiful soul than a beautiful woman. I never think of myself as 'hot'. I was embarrassed, self conscious and uncomfortable at this point. He asked if he could have my number and if he could take me out. I laughed nervously, thanked him as sweetly as I could, but declined the offers. 

Still, it was a totally awesome experience! 

I'm 95% sure I don't want to date anymore. I definitely do not feel comfortable or safe dating a total stranger. Every now and then I daydream about going out with a man just for fun- to see a movie together or take a walk through a park, or have a conversation over a tasty meal... Then I remember all the pain that I caused myself and my ex-boyfriend the last time I got this desire for romance. I never want to cause that kind of pain to anyone ever again- myself included.

Then there's the whole 'I'm a cancer Survivor' issue and most men, I'd bet, wouldn't want to date a lady with that kind of medical history. I wouldn't blame him, honestly, because it's a lot of baggage. Disagree? Tell me why, leave a comment. 

Perhaps the biggest reason for not wanting to date is that my heart still belongs to a Marine who is proudly serving overseas. We were together without being actually together because of his service for 10 years. I'm over-simplifying in a huge way here. I moved for Florida in 2007 and started my life on a new path while he continued to serve. We still love each other, but just couldn't keep it together while being apart. Since I've moved back to Memphis he's sent me flowers for special occasions and always includes a sweet poetic note. 

Today he sent me these awesome gifts to celebrate being home for year and my increasing strength!!

AWESOMENESS X 2!!

 I'm extremely grateful, dear Marine. It's been very challenging to lift my loaded barbel up off the floor! And I can't wait to experiment with all the different chin-up and pull-up positions! 

What an incredibly awesome surprise!! I am beyond thrilled and excited!!

Wondering about the Yoga DVD? A few years ago I got a DVD with these 2 Yoga sessions (using the word 'workout' to describe this type of Yoga just doesn't fit to me) plus one for stress relief as a gift. My former roommate and very dear friend bonded with this DVD, and so I let him keep it when I moved home last year. I have missed it a lot, but have bought other Rodney Yee Yoga DVDs in an attempt to find a new favorite. It just hasn't happened though. The Marine kindly remembers how much I adored this AM Yoga session and somehow instinctively knew I needed it in my life again. I was so excited to have my very favorite Yoga sessions that I did the PM session tonight while at my sister's. My body and soul are thanking me. I'm very much looking forward to AM Yoga on Friday, which will be the first chance I'll have this week. 

What an amazingly awesome filled Tuesday!! 

Exercising & Countdown

Another countdown is winding down and somehow it's still not quite sinking in. My sister and brother-in-law have moved to Texas and by now have probably unpacked just about everything. Their kids, my Peeps, will be moving this weekend. The new branches have budded out from the family root. I didn't realize how hard it is to deal with people in my family to move away! I've been the one that moved away in the past seeking change, adventure and new-ness. However, when I moved away it was just me going, not me + Peeps going. That's a radical difference. I'm (slowly) beginning to embrace this change and turn my focus on a new way of living and the opportunities it opens up. Meanwhile, I'm cherishing every moment, even the tense ones, with 'my' Peeps.

Exercising is giving my stress and sadness an outlet. Plus, I just plain love doing it. I started out exercising to lose weight over ten years ago, and then I fell in love with it. When I exercise I'm choosing to love myself, to increase my self esteem, to decrease my chance for a third cancer recurrence, and to deal with stress in a healthy way. Exercise is also an escape and a retreat for me. I can shut the world away and turn my attention to my workout. I am so thankful I'm able to enjoy all the benefits of exercising again! I couldn't exercise through much of my cancer treatment this year which was really tough for me, but that gave me the gift of refreshed gratefulness when I exercise now.

I've been sticking to the workout schedule I created for this week. This is what it looks like~
Sunday- (done) Rodney Yee's AM Yoga for your Week, the hip opener series
Monday- (done) Repeat Sunday's Yoga and 30 minute Boot Camp from Cathe Friedrich's 4 Day Split series
Tuesday- (done) Full body weight workout- Cathe's Super Sets
Wednesday- (done) 5 interval cycles using a step which takes 30 minutes- Cathe's IMax2
Thursday- (done) 30 minutes of kick boxing from Cathe's 4 Day Split series immediately followed by Rodney Yee's Beginner's Yoga, the 20 minute rejuvenating session
Friday- (planned) Full body weights- Cathe's Push/Pull
Saturday- (planned) Low Impact cardio- either Cathe's Lower Intensity Step or Petra Kolber's Cardio Core workout from FitTV

What does exercise mean to you? How does working out improve your life? What are your favorite workouts? Yes, I really want to know!

Choices, Decisions and Plans

This week is full of toddlers, moments of joy and sadness, and general family craziness. I was tempted to set aside my health and weight loss goals for this week, but I've done that many times in the past and never felt good about that choice. So, I decided that I would figure out a way to be true to my health goals and create balance during this week for myself while still being a loving and available sister, Aunt and daughter. 

I realized last week that it would be wise to have something quick, healthy and well-balanced for me to eat this week. Soup was the first thing to come to my mind! Soup is the salad of winter for me. Unfortunately, I decided this on the fly so I didn't have all the ingredients I would have liked to use. I ended up with a lentil veggie soup that's quite tasty and used up some veggies from the fridge. I used the rest of a container of organic vegetable stock, water, sweet onion, celery, a couple carrots, a can of no salt added petite diced tomatoes, mashed up roasted delicata squash (a new squash for me which I adore!), half a bag of lentils, some thyme, some oregano, and some savory. I simmered it all in a big stock pot until the lentils and carrots were nice and tender. Nom nom!

Exercising is a major tool in my refining my health. I sat down this morning with my sister, Sally, and talked through an exercise plan for this week. I'm so glad I did!! Just taking 15 minutes to sit and plan out my workouts really helped me think it out. I've got a workout planned every day this week, and I feel confident about being to actually do it! 

Today was a great way to kick off the week. I did Rodney Yee's AM Yoga for Your Week the forward bend series with my 2 oldest nieces (ages 4 and almost 3) and my sister this morning complete with sticky mats in the small living room. Somehow we made it work, had fun, and got stretched out together! Later, we all did a 30 minute Cathe Boot Camp workout. I had fun working out with (and around) the Peeps. They bring a refreshed energy to just about everything.

I feel like I've found a good balance for myself this week. It feels really good to be making plans to help me succeed instead of just medicating my emotions with food.  Surviving cancer has given me a sense of renewal for my health goals, and what I'm willing to do as well as give up to reach them.